The Smitten Series
by S. Meech
Summary: The telling of the relationship of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black beginning in 1975 and extending until 1995 and later. This is the tale of twenty years of love, drama, and forgiveness. Contains slash, character death, and follows bookplot.
1. My First Valentine

**Author's note:** I am trying to get out of my fanfiction-writing funk, since I just can't seem to focus on the stories that matter (aka Ambivalent Lucidity) and so I will be attempting some short fics over the next few weeks to jumpstart myself again. These stories will possibly all be linked somehow.

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents,**

**My First Valentine**

**Part of the Smitten series**

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It was Valentine's Day and Remus J. Lupin could not care less. He was fifteen years old, a bit too small for his robes but too old inside to look so young. He never had a date for Valentine's Day, not for the past three years, and it was not at all surprising. He kept to himself mostly, save for his friends, and they all had dates, he imagined, because they certainly were not around.

The full moon had been the night before, and he was lying in the hospital wing recovering from some nasty scratches he had inflicted on himself the night before. He felt fine; Madam Pomfrey was a good friend and never made him suffer for her own amusement as she often did James or Sirius. No, Remus was her favorite, and she had even bought him a chocolate bar for the holiday (but he would never, ever tell the others for fear of eternal torment).

No one had visited him all day, and it rather hurt his feelings. They always visited, no matter the occasion, and so he lay there on the white bed quite depressed. He wondered secretly if they would even miss him if he just offed himself right then.

As if on cue, there fluttered to the window a barn owl, carrying something in its beak. Blinking, he crept over to the window, giving the owl a gentle stroke of the feathers on its breast before he accepted the little white envelope, addressed to him. Nimble fingers slid into the white paper and withdrew a glaring red, foil card adorned with hideous pink hearts.

_BANG!_ When he opened it, confetti exploded into his face and all over the ground, sparkling in the dim sunlight from the window. The card was white on the inside with only a very loopy, red-inked command: _turn around_.

Ominous. He stared at the card for a moment, quite dreading what might happen if he did, in fact, follow instructions, but the thought of what might happen if he _didn't_ was even more terrifying. He stood there frozen in thought for at least twenty-seven seconds before he took a deep breath and turned around.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Moony," said an uncharacteristically quiet voice. It was Sirius Black, holding something in his hand. "Brought you something…" He stepped over to Remus, who was staring at him as though he were quite mad, and placed in his hands a napkin with something inside.

Remus eyed it nervously before he reached up and unfolded the napkin, finding a jammy dodger inside, sloppily made with red jam. He blinked a moment before he looked back up to Sirius, who was grinning stupidly. "…Mum's mad at me again, so I didn't have any money. You missed out on breakfast and these are your favorite, so…I brought you one." He looked very embarrassed suddenly, and he looked away.

Remus had no idea what to say except, "Don't you have a date to attend to?" He looked away when he asked it, ashamed that he should be stuck in here all day while everyone else got to frolick.

"Sure do…That is, if you want to be attended to." But Sirius did not give Remus the chance to respond, and he seized him in a strong, playful embrace. Remus did not argue, mainly because he knew that Sirius would be a great prat about it if he did, and so when he sat back down on the bed, his best friend curled up next to him.

Long moments of silence reigned between them, but Remus noted that, the longer the silences grew, the closer together they became, and by the time he fell asleep, his head was resting on Sirius's chest and his hand lay on his shoulder, the red card dangling between his fingers.


	2. The Potions Essay

**Author's notes:** Another part of the Smitten series…just for you guys!

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Potions Essay**

**Part of the Smitten series

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**

Sirius Black despised Potions. He despised having it on Mondays and Thursdays. He despised having to stare at Snivellus's huge nose from across a cauldron. He hated mixing things. It is not to say, however, that Sirius Black was not brilliant at Potions. He could stir and add his way to the top if he wanted to, but he did not.

Sirius Black was not good at writing essays. Before him lay twenty inches of parchment, black, ominously glaring at him there in the Gryffindor common room. James was being giggly and touchy feely with a third year over on one of the couches, and Sirius looked up at him, half wishing that James would die and half wishing that he was having a snog himself. Strike that, he fully wished he were having a snog.

Remus Lupin was sitting at another table in the common room, blowing gently on the glistening ink on his freshly-finished Potions essay. At the sound of James's giggling, he groaned and looked up to him and the pretty blonde clutched to his chest. "James. Buddy. Go somewhere else, _please_." His voice sounded stupid even to him, and he blushed as Sirius flashed him a pretty grin.

The giggling stopped and James peeked over the top of the couch. "Shove it, Moony. You're just jealous 'cause you don't have this pretty thing wrapped around you," he said in a half-growl, eliciting a delighted laugh from the third year he was attached to. "Or maybe you're just jealous because you _never_ have a pretty thing wrapped around you."

That was too far. Remus stared at him for a few moments before he stood up, slamming his chair under the desk and snatching the essay from the table so fast that the ink ran. "Sod off," he hissed, and he ran upstairs to the dormitory, banging the door shut so loudly that Sirius winced.

James and his snogging partner laughed together heartily for a few moments before Sirius, who was seeing red, stalked over and decked James right in his laughing face. "You fuck," he snarled, and he stomped back over to his things, gathering them. "How could you even say something like that? You _know_ how Remus is about things…things like that!"

In his righteous anger, he hurried upstairs and paused before he opened the door to their room, going inside and locking the door behind him because he heard James running after him seeking retribution for his loss of face. Sealing the door, Sirius turned to the room and saw that Remus was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Oy," he called gruffly, and he moved over to him, kneeling on the ground and resting his chin on the mattress by Remus's elbow.

"What do you want?" Remus asked, his voice sounding quite gruff as though he were choking back tears. He would not look at Sirius, terribly embarrassed that he had lost control of himself. When he felt Sirius's hand on his stomach, he gave a little jump and stared at him in bewilderment.

"Help me on my Potions essay?" Sirius asked quietly, his fingertips barely brushing the stretch of naked skin between the hem of Remus's shirt and the top of his trousers. The resulting blush on his friend's face made him giggle.

Remus gave a little nod and sat up, wanting that hand as far away from his stomach as possible, but the moment he was upright, Sirius seized him around the waist and hugged him. "Sorry James is such an ass. I punched him in the nose for you…" Sirius giggled a little, suddenly shy of his retaliation.

"Th-thanks," Remus said softly, and he rested his hand on the top of Sirius's head. The hair was silky beneath his palm, and he caressed it for a moment before he pushed the other away. "Stop being a pouf. Get your essay," he grumbled, and as Sirius went to his knapsack to retrieve the paper, Remus found that it was difficult to cool down from that warm embrace.

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Notes: Cuteness abound! Review? – Sakai Michiba 


	3. Toast and Honey

**Author's notes:** I'm popping these out like hotcakes, ne?

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Toast and Honey **

**Part Three of the Smitten series**

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Morning was the worst part of the day, in Remus Lupin's humble opinion. He always woke up covered in dried drool, sleep in his eyes, and that nasty taste in his mouth that took a year of brushing to stave off. He had to get out of bed (always an unenjoyable experience), change out of comfortable clothes, and make himself presentable because he certainly was not when he woke.

Remus also hated mornings because he was not one to fall asleep early, thus he often fell asleep in his breakfast. There were several photographs which had made their rounds in Gryffindor Tower of him blowing bubbles in his cereal milk with his nose. Yes, all in all, mornings were despicable, unattractive times for Remus.

Sirius Black often had too much energy in the mornings, and when he would bounce around the room in a frenzied attempt to get everyone else up and excited, Remus would make a habit of throwing an object at him (usually a shoe or a rotten sock). He would, however, haul himself out of bed because he knew that unless he did, Sirius would force him out, and that was always an unpleasant ordeal that was not worth the extra ten minutes of sleep.

This morning was no different. Remus had oozed out from between the sheets to prepare for the day, rolling his eyes as Sirius made assorted loud, obnoxious noises in mimic of Peter's snoring. Soon, the four boys were dressed and groomed, and together they went down for breakfast in the Great Hall. Sirius and James sat across from Remus and Peter respectively, but while his three friends launched into their plans for the next attack on Snivellus, Remus stared down at his honeyed toast, his vision blurring lightly.

He had not been able to sleep well the night before; the memory of Sirius's warm fingers on his bare stomach and the friendly embrace after had kept him up sweating, and he had, for the first time, considered touching himself. The moment he had started to, however, a loud snore from Peter's direction (Sirius had every right to mimic him; it was a horrible racket) had startled him from it, and he slept uncomfortably for it. His eyelids started to droop, and he rested his chin in his hand.

Sirius glanced over while he yapped at James and Peter to see Remus about to have a face full of toast and honey, and he smirked a little before he slid his foot over and nudged Remus's ankle. Remus blinked and glanced up at him, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down, but he looked away again suddenly. Sirius felt butterflies in his stomach, and he began to gesture with his hands as he plotted with the other two because he did not want to draw attention to Remus as he slid his toes along the other's calf.

Remus swallowed and blushed, giving Sirius a nasty glare, but because Sirius had just conspired to do something terribly nasty to Snape, it was not out of place. He saw mischievous blue eyes glance amusedly in his direction, and he sniffed a little before he did the only logical thing to do in that situation: he moved his own foot up to return the advance.

This was apparently the last thing Sirius expected, because there was an elongated silence in the plan. James and Peter exchanged looks before staring at Sirius, hanging on his every move, but Sirius was not looking at them anymore. His eyes were fixed on Moony, who was giving him a very sweet smile. "What?" Remus asked, his foot stroking the back of Sirius's calf and ankle.

"U-um. Don't you have any input? Are y-you just going to let us do this…this deviously ingenious plan without a word?" Sirius improvised, and he spread his thighs a little as Remus's toes touched the back of one of his knees.

"My input has never worked before," Remus claimed, and he leaned forward on his elbows, giving a bit of a shrug. "You're not going to listen to me anyway, so I figure wh—"

He was suddenly interrupted as Peter reached for some bacon and tipped Remus's juice glass, spilling the cold beverage all over the werewolf. Remus leapt back and tripped over the bench, landing square on his ass and covered in freezing, pulpy orange juice. "Damn!" he snapped irritably, and he gave Peter a filthy look. "_Don't just stare at me_!"

Sirius burst out laughing as Peter helped Remus up and walked with him out of the Great Hall, holding onto James for support and trying to hide the fact that their little game of footsie had had quite an effect on him.

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**Notes:** I am a master at ending snippets with sexual tension. Bahaha. – Sakai Michiba 


	4. First Kiss

**Author's notes:** This chapter is not what you would expect.

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**First Kiss**

**Part 4 of the Smitten series

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**

Lily Evans was a pretty girl. She was tall, lean, and full of Irish fire that made many a boy melt in her path. She may have been a Gryffindor, but even Slytherin boys lusted after her, and she was only in fourth year. She was smart, had common sense, and dressed smart.

James Potter had called dibs on her within his little group. "She may not think much of me now," he said to Sirius, "but when I'm older and a Quidditch star and dashingly handsome, she'll faun over me." Peter and Sirius had shared a good laugh over that, and Remus had just smirked quietly.

Lily Evans did not like arrogant pricks like James Potter. She liked quieter boys who read a lot, and so she was often seen in Remus Lupin's company. Remus liked to think of them as very good friends.

They were sitting in the common room on the squishy red couch in front of the fireplace, laughing over McGonagall's lesson earlier in the day (they had learned how to transfigure a kitten into a tea kettle with several hilarious results from Sirius and Peter). Remus did not think a thing of her leaning against him in mirth, or about the arm he slid around her as he cackled over Sirius's kitten which had whistled steam from its rear-end.

Sirius and James were sitting in the back, discussing their new plan to steal Frank Longbottom's underwear and enlarge them to hang in the Great Hall. Sirius glanced up for a moment, but his gaze stuck on Remus and Lily, who were clinging to each other, and while Remus's clinging looked completely innocent and merry, Lily was looking at him in That Way. James, who had been talking very fast, stopped to follow Sirius's gaze, and his eyes widened.

"Sirius," James hissed sharply. "_Sirius, what is he doing_!"

"Don't think it's him, mate," Sirius said, but James didn't hear it, and he was not so sure he even believed it himself when Remus looked Lily in the eyes and gave an awkward little giggle. The firelight between them was becoming smaller and smaller, and suddenly there was none as Lily leaned forward and planted her lips on Remus's.

Remus's eyes widened and he stared at her as she kissed him square on the lips, and when she pulled away, he scrambled quite abruptly away from her. "L-Lily! I—" He did not, however, have time to finish his sentence before James had lifted him off of the couch by his collar and pinned him against the wall.

"_James_!" Lily screeched, grabbing him by the arm and punching him in the shoulder. Remus was struggling against James, trying to kick out of his grasp, when Sirius hurried over and knocked James off of him.

"Damn it, James!" Sirius snapped, and he kicked James away as he came flying at Remus again. Holding the lycanthrope against him, he pulled him out of the common room and out of the line of fire. Hearing Lily begin to tear into James, he hid with Remus in the stairwell. "All right?" he asked quietly.

Remus swallowed and looked at his feet. "I…I guess. Sirius, she _kissed _me!" he whispered, suddenly in awe of it. "_Me_! I'd never…you know." He blushed fiercely and shook his head. "Never."

Sirius knew why his heart sank then, but he put on a grin and clapped Remus on the shoulder. "Good for you, mate," he whispered, and when Remus looked up at him, his heart caught in his throat. "Good for you…" He did not mean it.

Remus saw the lie in Sirius's eyes and he opened his mouth to say something. He wanted to say that it was not any good. He wanted to say that he had wanted Sirius to kiss him first, that he had wanted Sirius's lips pressed against him like that, that Sirius should kiss him now and then the kiss with Lily would not have counted. He could feel Sirius's hands on his shoulders and his breath on his hair, and it would not even take a whole second to close the six inches between them.

Instead, he just said, "Yeah. It's pretty great." Taking a step back, he started to continue up the stairs, but he felt Sirius's hand catch his sleeve. Hopeful, he turned back around, looking the other straight in the eyes. "Huh?" Eloquent.

Sirius swallowed hard and licked his lower lip, seeing that Remus's eyes followed the movement. "Um…W-was…Was she any good?" he stumbled out, and he saw clear disappointment in Remus's eyes.

"Yeah," Remus lied, and he tugged his arm from the other's fingers before he ran upstairs to the dormitory.

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**Notes:** Poor Sirius… 


	5. Ira Dulcis

**Author's notes:** I am very addicted to writing this series. It's very easy and very fun! You guys seem to like it, too. I try to present Remus in these stories with as little fanon as possible. My Remus is not completely bookish, he is not a prude, he is not a doormat for his friends, and he is not a crybaby. With this series I am not just trying to make myself write again, but I am trying to become known for more than just Harry/Draco. Now, enjoy part five!

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Ira Dulcis**

**Part Five of the Smitten series

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**

James Potter was not speaking to Remus Lupin. Remus had stolen _his_ kiss from Lily, had been romantic and charming and dashing (at least, in his recollection) and stolen her from him knowing full well how he felt about Lily. He wanted to go up to the dormitory and strangle him in his sleep, but Sirius had said that he would deal with it, and James believed him. Sirius was his best mate; Sirius would stand by him during this.

Sirius had had quite enough of this fight. For six days, he had been lunging between a fight-hungry James and a pissy Remus, knowing that the longer this went on, the more likely it would be that they would really hurt one another. There was only so much that Remus was going to take of James badmouthing him, and every day was getting worse.

James had really hurt Remus's feelings earlier in the day, yelling at him that he hoped he killed himself on the next full moon, or worse, that he would kill someone else, because then he would be locked away in Azkaban and no one would ever have to see him again. Remus had hexed him, making him sprout eyes all over his face, before he retreated to the bedroom and sealed himself inside his four poster.

Sirius was standing in the room next to Remus's bed, sighing. "Moony," he said quietly, and when he got no reply, he knocked on the bedpost. "Moony, can I come in?"

There was a moment before Remus opened the curtains just a little, looking up at Sirius with a stone-set face. "What do you want?" he asked. His voice was very tired, and Sirius was aware at that moment how very old Remus was inside. Slowly, Sirius, pulled the curtain to the side and crawled into the bed with the other, pulling the curtains closed and sitting in front of him, legs crossed.

"James is just mad, Remus," he said quietly, and he leaned back against one of the posts. "You know how he gets about Lils. He's just—"

"_I_ didn't even kiss her, Sirius!" Remus snapped, and he slapped his hand against the cover of the book he had been reading. "She kissed me! I didn't even _want_ to kiss her! I don't fancy Lily and I wish she'd never kissed me because it was my first and I didn't want it to be with _her_!" He was getting upset the more he spoke, his voice rising in pitch and becoming panicked. "Why did she even—"

Sirius reached over and touched Remus's lips with his fingertips, shushing him. "Shut up; I know. You don't have to explain anything…to…me." His eyes widened as Remus's lips arched against his fingers, full and soft, and he brought his hand back quickly. "I um…think you should go punch James in the face and break his nose or something because he really shouldn't have said what he did and…" He cut himself off then, watching Remus, who was blushing very lightly and refusing to meet his gaze. "Remus?"

He did not get an answer, just a little nod, and Sirius rested his hand on his shoulder for a moment. "Moony, c'mere," he said softly, finding it hard to swallow, and when Remus gave him a fearful look, he took control and seized him, pulling him closer and wrapping him in a forceful hug.

"Sirius, you're being such a pouf," Remus murmured into the other's shoulder, his voice muffled by robes, but he did not pull away. He really did not think Sirius was being a pouf at all. He liked this, hugging him there in the dark, and he held handfuls of Sirius's clothing as he rested his cheek against his warm neck. "I hate him, Sirius."

Sirius's eyes widened, but he nodded and slipped his fingers into the other's hair. He felt Remus relax against him, and he scratched his scalp rhythmically. "He hates you, too," he laughed softly. "But it isn't your fault. Um…If you didn't want Lils to be your first kiss, then who?" He was embarrassed to ask it, and Remus stiffened in his arms.

"Oh. Um, no one I guess. Figured I'd be celibate all my life, you know," he said, pulling away a little and looking at Sirius's shoulder. "I never thought about it."

"Liar," Sirius whispered, and when Remus gave him a startled, uncovered look, Sirius leaned over and kissed his cheek in the dark. He felt Remus lean into the gesture a little and hum very softly, and when Sirius pulled back, the other fell over just a little and gave a horrified squeak.

Scrambling backward, Remus was tomato-red and stammering. "S-Sirius, I…" He yelped as he fell off the side of the bed, and when Sirius, who was barking laughter, looked over at him, he scrambled out of the dormitory, horrified. Sirius sighed and leaned back on the bed for a moment before he realized that Remus was running right into the snakepit. He leapt up and chased after, knowing that James waited at the bottom of the steps.

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**Notes:** Stay tuned! – Sakai Michiba 


	6. Loss of Face

**Author's notes:** Enjoy the fight that's been several installments in coming!

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Loss of Face**

**Part 6 of the Smitten series

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Remus Lupin was terribly ashamed of himself. He had lost control completely with Sirius, and though to Sirius it may only have been a gentle kiss on the fingertips, to Remus it was a total embarrassment. Then Sirius had held him like that, and for a moment it had felt as though they were truly together and in love. Sirius laughing at him had just been too much, and in his horror, he ran from the room, wanting to be as far away from Gryffindor Tower as he could possibly get.

When he stepped into the common room, however, he saw James standing there, blocking his exit with a nasty scowl on his face. "Get out of the way, James," he whispered dangerously, not in any mood to fight at the moment.

James, however, had other ideas. He took a few steps forward and seized Remus by the shoulders, throwing him backward against the back of the couch and coming at him, fists raised. "You know what you did, Lupin," he snarled, and he came close to him, getting right in his face. "How dare you kiss her…You bastard, you _knew _I had dibs on her…"

Remus's eyes narrowed, and he hissed through his teeth, "The last time I checked, Potter, Lily was a person, not an object. You can't call dibs on a person. Also, last time I checked, she hated your damn guts because you're the smarmiest bastard that ever lived. Why do you think she kissed me, anyway? Maybe it's because I know how to treat someone."

That did it for James. He brought up his fist and decked Remus right in the nose, smirking as the smaller boy yelped and brought his hands up immediately to his face, blood seeping out from between his fingers. Sirius came down from the stairwell just to see this action, and he started toward them.

It was then that the Marauders learned something about Remus Lupin that they had never known before. They discovered that he was not just smart, small, and bookish. As he suddenly launched himself at James, throwing him to the ground and thrusting his foot so hard between his legs that Sirius could almost hear James's children screaming in pain, they learned that they had always underestimated Remus.

James was screaming as Remus then threw himself down on the other boy, drops of blood dripping onto James's glasses as he pummeled him in the stomach and chest, screaming in a frighteningly animalistic manner. He had lost control of himself again, he knew, but he could not stop it. It was as though he were watching himself from the other side of the room, his fists sinking again and again into James as though he were a pillow that needed a good fluffing. He could hear Peter screaming and the younger years freaking out, but it could not register in his mind that he should stop.

He felt hands on his shoulders, pulling at him, but he fought against them, turning around and taking swings at whomever was attempting to get him off of James. His fist connected several times with their stomach, and Remus could hear himself screaming to be let go, that James deserved it and he was sick and tired of being treated as though he was the one responsible. James could not seem to move or breathe, and two third years were pulling him out of the brawl, picking him up and taking him from Gryffindor Tower and, presumably, to the Hospital Wing. There were whispers of broken ribs.

Remus seized his captor around the neck and started to strangle the other, but when he looked up and into his next victim's eyes, he found it to be Sirius, and he leapt backward in shock. "S-Sirius!"

Sirius took in a gasping breath and rubbed at his throat a little as he looked at Remus, who was shaking and covered in blood and bruises. He had never seen Remus let loose like that. "Remus, we need to get you to Pomfrey," he said quietly, and he stepped over to him, reaching up to touch the blood on his face. "Your nose is broken, Remus, and we need to get you there because you're losing a lot of blood."

Remus stared at him and nodded a little, hands trembling and a little moan of pain escaping his lips. He fell forward then, his hands sliding around Sirius's neck as he fell into him. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry," he whispered into his best friend's ear, and he choked before he buried his face in Sirius's neck.

"Ah, gross," Sirius joked quietly as he felt blood dripping into the dip of his collarbone, and when Remus grunted at him, he picked him up off of the ground and carried him from the common room. "Good job, mate," he said into Remus's ear.

Remus laughed very quietly and gave Sirius a bit of a squeeze as he was carried down through the castle. Sirius smiled and squeezed him back, and he touched his cheek to Remus's forehead.

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Notes: Remus got his revenge… I heart violent Remus. – Sakai Michiba 


	7. The Hospital Wing

**Author's notes**: This installment will be much less tense.

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Hospital Wing**

**Part 7 of the Smitten series

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Madam Pomfrey had fixed Remus's broken nose with no problem, but he would not leave the hospital wing when she had finished. Instead, he retreated to his bed in the corner and drew the curtains, telling Pomfrey that he did not want visitors of any sort.

James was going to be all right, she told him, but he had broken a few of James's ribs and punctured his lung. "I'm shocked," she said as she sat down on the side of his bed, "that such good friends got in this sort of fight. You really hurt James. Remus, you…should not let the werewolf seize control of you. You could have killed James if you hadn't been pulled off."

Remus swallowed hard and closed his eyes, holding the blankets under his chin. "I don't want to talk about it," he breathed, and he closed his eyes. "And I don't want to go back to Gryffindor Tower. Ever."

Poppy frowned and touched Remus's forehead. "Sweetheart, you can't stay here forever. Mister Black is here to see you. I know you said you didn't want visitors, but he begged. Will you see him?" she asked as she smoothed back his hair from his face. She noticed the little blush that flooded his cheeks and she smiled to herself. He did not answer her, so she got up and smiled at Sirius, who was looking very tired as he stood there by the bed. "Go on, Mister Black…"

Sirius nodded and waited until she had gone into her office before he slipped into the curtain and looked at Remus, who would not look at him. He made sure the curtain was completely closed before he sat down where Pomfrey had been sitting on the mattress. "Moony?" he asked quietly, and when Remus would not look at him, he lay down next to him and rested his head on the pillow. "What you did in there—"

Remus turned to look him in the eyes, hardly six inches existing between them as he shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it, Sirius," he breathed, and he swallowed hard as he realized just how close they were. "Please. Just…forget about it, okay?"

Sirius gazed gently into Remus's eyes, and he slid his hand over to rest on his side. "Kay," he whispered, and he used that hand to draw Remus a little closer. "But um…You know, he deserved it." He could feel his heart pounding his rib cage as Moony's stomach touched his own, and he moved his hand to rest on the small of the other's back.

Remus was redder than he had ever been as this event took place, and he stared fixedly into Sirius's eyes as they were suddenly touching more intimately than he had ever touched anyone. "You think so?" His voice was very small and shaky, and he touched Sirius's upper arm.

Sirius leaned a little closer, the very tip of his nose touching Remus's. "Yeah…Nobody can talk to you like that…" His voice was hardly a whisper.

Remus looked at him for a moment before he leaned in a little more, the wings of their noses touching as he closed his eyes. There was hardly a hairbreadth between their lips, and he squeezed Sirius's upper arm. "You're warm," he breathed.

Sirius's eyes widened before he nodded a little. "Yeah. R-Remus, um…I want to talk to you about something…" he whispered, and he slipped his fingertips into Remus's hair.

"You talk too much," Remus said softly, and he tilted his chin up to kiss Sirius, moaning quietly as he felt Sirius's tongue slide into his mouth. This kiss was not anything like the one Remus had shared with Lily, for sure, and as their tongues slid together, Remus suddenly very, very warm. He wanted to move, wanted to get closer to Sirius now that they were this close, and he pressed against him as comfortably as he could in the tiny bed.

Sirius closed his eyes and slid his thigh between Remus's legs, hands trembling as they traversed Moony's back and thighs. Remus could _kiss_, that was for damn sure, and Sirius did not know if he had ever been so turned on by anything. When he pulled back for a breath, he swallowed hard and pressed his forehead to Remus's. "Oh God," he whispered, and he bit his lower lip. "Moony, I uh…You wanna, you know…Come back to the tower? We can go upstairs and…talk."

Remus blushed but nodded, and he leaned in to kiss Sirius one more time, just to make sure it was really happening. "I'll go back with you."

Sirius giggled and nodded before he sat up, a stupid grin on his face as he pulled Remus out of his bed and slid his hand into his, chewing on his lip as their fingers twined.


	8. Shy

**Author's notes:** Glad you guys liked the last chapter. Hopefully you'll enjoy this one, too!

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Shy**

**Part 8 of the Smitten series

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**

Remus's head was spinning as he and Sirius walked down the corridors on their way back to Gryffindor Tower. He could feel his palm sweating against Sirius's, could feel his fingers trembling against the back of the other's hand, and he swallowed as he felt their shoulders touch. He could not seem to look at him now, and he kept licking his lower lip because he could taste the kiss there.

His kiss with Lily had been nothing like that. Sirius's kiss was searing, cutting him through to the very core and burning him in such an erotic way that he was embarrassed to think it. His cheeks were radiating heat, looking as though he had been sunburned. "Remus!" he heard Sirius exclaim, and when he looked up at him, pale and shaky, Sirius laughed. "You're crushing my fingers…"

All the color drained from Remus's face and he let go of Sirius's hand, feeling sick. He was going to mess this up, he knew. Somehow he was going to make Sirius hate him in the midst of all of this. "Sorry," he whispered, and he wrung his hands nervously.

"Remus," Sirius said quietly, and he stopped walking, looking over at Remus with a grin. "What are you flustered about?" He laughed as Remus avoided his gaze, and he looked around to make sure they were alone before he seized the other around the waist. Despite the fact that Remus would not look him in the eyes, the kiss they shared then was easy and sweet. Sirius grinned at him when he pulled back, touching his cheek with his fingertips and blushing just a little. "Come on; stop wasting time. We need to talk…"

Remus's eyes lit up and he grinned boyishly before he took Sirius's hand again, letting him lead him by the hand back up to their tower and through the portrait. Remus let go of Sirius's hand when they stepped into the common room, not wanting anyone to see them touching like that, and he nodded to Peter before he hurried upstairs, letting Sirius into the dormitory before he closed the door. "What are we going to talk about?" he asked quietly, nibbling on his lower lip nervously.

Sirius grinned and moved his hands around Remus to rest on his lower back. "I want to talk to you about…um…me wanting to kiss you," he claimed, feeling suddenly quite shy. "I want to, you know."

Remus blushed and looked down at the ground a moment before he looked him in the face again. "I'd like you to as well," he claimed, and he shuddered when Sirius kissed along the curvature of his neck. Feeling as though he would suddenly melt into a puddle of Remus-goo, he clung to Sirius for support, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. "Ah…"

That monosyllable made Sirius warmer than he had ever been, and he pulled back to look Remus in the eyes. When Moony's eyes opened again, Sirius grinned at him almost shyly and shook his head. "We can't tell anybody yet," he said quietly, chortling as Remus nodded with a look of absolute ecstasy.

"Can't tell anybody what?" James came out of the bathroom, a towel over his head and his hands furiously working it to dry his hair. Sirius and Remus leapt apart, Remus's hands behind his back and Sirius's hands covering the bulge in his trousers. James removed the towel and stared at them, seeing immediately that they were hiding something from him. "…Oh. Sounded like you had a bird in here…You guys weren't snogging or anything, were you?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"Sorry, but I only snog Lily," Remus snarked, and he went over to his four poster, tugging the curtains closed once he was inside.

James's eyes widened and he snarled, starting to stalk over to the bed before Sirius grabbed him by the shoulders. "James, he can kick your ass. Remember that? Go on; get out of here. I need to talk to Moony alone. Please?" Sirius said, pushing him toward the door. James gave him an odd glare before he left the dorm, closing the door a little too loudly.

Sirius sighed and slipped over to Remus's bed, creeping in between the curtains and reaching for him in the dark. "He doesn't know when to give up," he said quietly as he felt Remus's arms wrap around him and pull him down, and he grinned as he peered at him in the dark. "What should we call ourselves?"

"Don't care," Remus said quietly, and he laughed as Sirius nibbled at his ear. "S-stop that, Sirius. I…don't want to just be some shag, okay? You have a reputation for snogging whoever comes along and I…uh…" He slowly trailed off as Sirius kissed the corners of his mouth and his cheeks.

"You're not some shag, Moony. I'd be done with you by now if you were." He moved to lie beside, him, embracing him while he kissed his jaw. "It's different with you." This was whispered in hardly more than a breath, and he touched Remus on his hip before he kissed him deeply on the lips. "I'll take care of you," he whispered against the kisses, and judging by Remus's moaning, he was sure this was the right thing to say.

After a few moments of sliding their tongues together, Remus pulled back and looked at him in the dark. "I guess I should go talk to James, shouldn't I?" he asked, and he sifted his fingers through Sirius's wonderfully silky hair.

Sirius sighed, giving a nod. "If you don't…He'll probably try to kill you in your sleep and that would be detrimental to all the things I need to teach you." He cackled when Remus leapt out of bed as though he had been scalded, and he sat up. "Yes, go talk to James. Please. I'd like him to be alive after trying to attack you in the middle of the night…"


	9. The Letter

**Author's notes:** We're gonna skip ahead just a little. ;

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Letter**

**Part 9 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

It had been two weeks since Sirius and Remus had first kissed, and, to Remus's pleasant surprise, they had not gone any farther than just kissing. He was slowly becoming less shy with Sirius, and though there had not even been roaming hands, Remus dreamed about what it would feel like when they eventually began to get more sexual. He wanted to, just not yet. He wanted to get to know Sirius slowly, and the secretive handholding and the kisses in the middle of night were proving to be a good way to do so.

They were currently sitting at the breakfast table, side by side, and he was listening to Sirius complain about how much he hated Potions and everything to do with it. Their fingers were entwined and hidden beneath the tablecloth from view of the other tables, and Sirius kept sneaking glances over at Remus, a secret sparkle in his eyes that only Remus knew to be there.

"Well, you know," James began, leaning forward and taking a long drink of his orange juice. "You only have to be in Potions for one more year if you want. You're never going to amount to much, anyway. I'll have to keep taking it, I'm afraid." He laughed as Sirius growled at him, and Remus gave a silly smirk.

"I'll amount to more than you. The teachers fancy me, at least. They have it in for you." He rubbed his fingertips on the back of Remus's hand, and Remus gave him a little squeeze.

There was a sudden fluttering of hundreds of wings as the post came in, and Remus looked up as he always did out of curiosity. Some people got mail everyday, while others, like Remus, almost never received anything. A large, black owl swooped down in front of them and dropped a letter at Sirius's plate, and Remus gave it a curious look. His hand was released as Sirius reached up to unfold the letter. "Three guesses whom it's from," Sirius said with distaste, and he read it over quickly before he blinked and looked around the Great Hall for a moment. Remus noted that his hands were shaking.

"Sirius, is everything all right?" he asked quietly, and beneath the table he touched his boyfriend's knee. Sirius didn't say anything, just folded the letter back and placed it in Remus's hand before he got up from the table and left, shaking his head a little. There was a moment of stunned silence.

"Well…Let's see it." James cracked his knuckles and reached for the letter in Remus's hands, but Remus snatched it away. "The hell? Hand it over, Moony!" he demanded, seconded by Peter.

"He didn't give it to you," Remus said quietly. "And probably with good reason." Sitting there solemnly, Remus opened the letter and, making sure James could not snatch it from him, he read over it.

It was from Sirius's mother, telling him that Regulus had been initiated into the Death Eaters and if he himself did not join within the next few weeks, he would be disowned. Regulus, according to the letter, was a respectable boy whom Sirius should model himself after, but no, Sirius had to go against everything he was raised for just to make trouble and fuck the family over. His mother called him several nasty things and left the letter at that, not even bothering to sign it.

Remus folded the letter again and looked over to the Slytherin table, where Regulus was sitting amongst his friends, laughing and looking as though he were bragging. With a shake of his head, Remus pocketed the letter and stood up, checking his watch. "James, take notes for me today, okay? Good ones. I'm gonna go run damage control."

"But—"

"James, please." Remus smiled at him and walked from the Great Hall, winding his way up to Gryffindor Tower and saying the password before he went into the common room. Sirius was not there, so he went up to their dormitory and closed the door behind him, finding Sirius sitting in front of the window. Without saying a word, he walked to him and sat down beside him, holding out his hand for Sirius to take, if he wanted.

There was a moment of silence before Sirius made the smallest sound and turned to bury his head in Remus's shoulder, and Remus felt the sting of tears on his neck as he lifted his arms to wrap around the other. "Sirius…You knew it was coming," he whispered against black hair.

Sirius did not reply, instead lifting his head to look Remus in the face. Remus felt his heart melt at the sight of tears coursing down Sirius's cheeks, and he leaned in to give him a few gentle kisses on the lips, stroking his hair and using his thumb to dry those tears. "Come now; you're much too lovely to cry. When you cry, you get all blotchy and ugly and I can't date you then."

This made Sirius's lips twitch upward, and he laughed quietly, though the sound was so heavy-laden with tears it sounded quite like a sob. "Sh-shut up. I'm upset," he claimed, and he shook his head a little. "Remus, will you promise me something?" He looked up through his dark hair and into the other's eyes, his lower lip trembling.

"Anything," Remus replied as he took hold of Sirius and hauled him close into a warm embrace. He was unnerved a bit by this display from Sirius; Sirius was never the type to get upset in this manner and cry, especially in front of anyone, and he never got upset over his family, as far as Remus could tell. This outburst suggested, however, that Sirius got quite upset over his family often, and Remus found that when he thought back, Sirius often disappeared when he got letters.

Sirius swiped at the tears on his cheek then took Remus's hand in his own, kissing his palm. "Don't ever, ever join Voldemort," he begged, and his face crumpled as Remus leaned in and kissed his ear. "Promise me, Remus!"

Remus's hands came up to bury in his lover's hair, and he held their cheeks together like that used to when they were in first year and they would make a promise. "I promise," he said in a breath, and he smiled a little as Sirius lay his head on his shoulder. "Come on, now; cheer up. I'm not going anywhere. We can go lie down and I'll tell you stories or something…James is taking notes for us today."

Sirius nodded a little and got up, dusting himself off before he crept into Remus's bed, covering himself up and smelling the pillow before his lover joined him, toeing off their shoes and kicking them from beneath the sheets before he closed the drapes. Sirius buried his face in Remus's neck and kissed it gently a few times before he got settled and closed his eyes, resting.

Remus smiled and stroked his back gently as he began to tell him stories of adventures he had had as a werewolf, of coming across other werewolves and getting in fights with other animals. He had never spoken of this to anyone, but he figured that if he were going to tell someone, Sirius was the best person to tell. Occasionally, the brunette would give a small laugh or sound of sympathy, but for the longest times in between, he would listen quietly.

Remus was recounting the tale of the first werewolf fight he had been engaged in when Sirius slipped a hand into his shirt, fingertips mapping out the skin. Remus paused in his story and looked down at Sirius, swallowing as those fingers traced his bite scars and a scar that was currently healing from last month's full moon. "Careful," he whispered, because even though it had been almost four weeks since Valentine's Day, the scar was not entirely healed. Sirius's fingers burned a little on the wound.

Sirius nodded and looked up into Remus's face as he touched him like this, knowing that no one else ever had, and he moved to kiss him as he rested his hand on the fierce bite scar on Remus's shoulder. As he tasted Remus's lips, he could feel magic pulsing beneath the old wound, and he gave that shoulder a bit of a squeeze before he broke the kiss and moved to pull Remus's shirt completely off.

The lycanthrope allowed it, his blush invisible in the dim light as Sirius sat up a little to inspect the scar. Even in the dark it burned faintly silver. He moved to press his lips against it and then smiled at Remus, who was watching him quietly. "I can count your ribs," he laughed quietly, and he ran his fingers over them.

"Yes, well I can count yours, too. You know I eat too much to be dangerously thin." Remus reached over and wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist, drawing him back down so he was lying on top of him. Sirius laughed quietly and buried his face against Remus's ear, kissing the lobe and the shell before he touched the other's cheek with his fingertips. "Thank you for taking care of me," he whispered, and he nuzzled his head into the pillow. "Thank you so much."

"Shut up," Remus said quietly, and he turned his head to kiss Sirius's cheek before he patted his lower back. "Somebody's got to."


	10. Tutoring Snape

**Author's notes:** It was time for this. ;.;

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Tutoring Snape**

**Part 10 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Remus looked down at his watch and sighed, closing the book he had been studying in the common room. "I have to go to the library," he sighed, and he began to pack his books into his knapsack. He heard Sirius snort from across the room, and he shot him a nasty look. "Don't start with me, Black."

"Come _on_," Sirius whimpered, and he banged his head on the arm of the couch he was currently inhabiting. "You've been studying for like four hours. I'm bored. It's your duty to entertain me." He peeked over the back of the couch and he pouted miserably. "We're the only people in here and you're wasting valuable snogging time so you can study something you already know anyway."

"Yes, well, unlike you I intend on graduating. I'm going to the library, okay? I'll be back in an hour." Remus smirked at him as he moaned into the upholstering, and he left the common room swiftly, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder.

He felt rather bad; Sirius would kill him if he found out that he and Snape were tutoring each other. Remus did not have the guts to ask for help in Potions from his other friends (they would surely laugh at the idea of him being less than proficient in _any_ subject), and so when Snape came to him seeking assistance in Charms (apparently he could not ask his friends, either), he had said all right. In return, he asked for help in Potions, which Snape was content to give in return.

They always studied in the library; none of Remus's friends went there. It was almost a taboo for them, and he always fancied them taking cleansing showers as soon as they left the "cursed place." Sirius would never follow him to such a place, and so he and Snape decided to meet there.

When he arrived in the library, he reflected a small smile to Severus. "Hey," he greeted, and he slid into the chair beside him, unpacking his bag. Severus gave him a bit of a scowl and opened his Charms book, giving Remus a pointed look. The lycanthrope laughed and nodded, opening his Charms book as well. "Fine, we'll get straight to it then." And they settled down to study.

Sirius sighed as he sat in the common room, utterly bored. He thought about Remus all alone in the library, doing nothing but studying, and with a sigh, he stood up and stretched. He would go sit with Remus; at least then they could have some alone time without being interrupted, even if they were only holding hands while Remus pored over his books.

He went down to the library and shuddered before he opened the door, looking around for a moment before he recognized a brown patch of hair over one of the shorter bookshelves. Grinning, he moved to walk around the bookshelves when he was greeted with a stomach-lurching sight. His Remus was sitting very close to Snivellus, smiling at him and talking with him very quietly.

His eyes narrowed in fury before he stalked up to the two of them. "Erhem." The sound of his clearing his throat made Remus visibly freeze, and when he did turn around to look at Sirius, his expression was one of mortification. "Hi," Sirius said, his voice laced with venom as he glared down at Snape, who was quickly gathering his books and making to leave the premises. "Leave." Sirius's tone was dead serious, and Severus did not need telling twice.

The moment the Slytherin had disappeared, Sirius rounded on Remus. "What the fuck, Moony? Have you just been hiding this from us? From _me_! What, does he snog you, too? Is that why you've been spending so much time in the library!" He was rapidly approaching hysterical, his face turning red.

"Oh my God, Sirius Black!" Remus growled, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder as he stood up and glared at his lover. "Do you trust me so little! I was tutoring him in exchange for tutoring in Potions, because Merlin knows I can't ask _you_." He looked very hurt that Sirius would even suggest that he had been unfaithful to him.

"And why? Why the fuck can't you ask me? Or James? We're tops in the practical stuff! You…You're a traitor! To us and to Gryffindor!" Sirius snapped, and his eyes widened as Remus lifted a hand and slapped him in the face.

"Fuck you, Sirius," Remus said in a very low voice. "You know what? Fine. I come in here three times a week to share a wank with Snape under the table. After you fall asleep at night I take him up to the Astronomy Tower and we shag like bunnies. You have me all figured out. I'm only doing it, of course, to piss you and James off. Wow, Sirius, how did you know so much?" He felt tears burning in his eyes, and he shoved past him. "The full moon's tonight, though I expect I wouldn't be sharing your bed even if it weren't."

Sirius stared after him, glowering and trembling. He and Remus had never been in a fight before, and especially not as lovers. It frightened him. Slowly, he gathered up the papers Remus had left and flipped through them, his heart falling as he found in Remus's perfect notes a parenthetical citation that read: (I hope Sirius kisses me after class…).

Remus sniffled as he walked swiftly down to the hospital wing, walking in the shadows so he could hide the fact that he was crying. He had no idea why he wanted to cry so much, so he wrote it off as being the fault of the full moon even though he knew it was because of the things Sirius had said. So Sirius did not trust him, apparently.

Nothing had ever hurt so much.


	11. The Day After

**Author's notes:** Perhaps this installment will make up for the fight in the last?

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Day After**

**Part 11 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Remus Lupin knew nothing but pain. He watched helplessly through the eyes of the werewolf as he crashed through one of the windows of the Shrieking Shack and bounded out into the forest, having heard another howl. He needed to fight, needed to establish dominance. The quiet Remus Lupin was crying inside as he came upon the other werewolf, who was much older and well-fought by the looks of him, but the wolf did not take in his appearance as Remus did.

Remus stopped looking when he attacked, and he cried out both inside and outside as the other wolf tore into him. The moon illuminated their battle, and blood was their carpet. Remus had no chance in this fight, and he knew he was going to die. He thought of Sirius then, of their fight and of the slap he had bestowed upon him, and he hated himself. If he could only see him one more time…

Sirius could not fall asleep; he heard howling. Everyone else was dead to the world as he rose up out of the bed and pressed his hand against the window, swallowing hard. He should have apologized. He should have taken Remus into his arms before he could run off, should have kissed him and apologized and told him how much he felt for him. But he had not. "Come back safe, Remus," he whispered, and he slipped away from the window, moving to lie in Remus's bed and wrap himself in his scent.

Remus was down, dying. The other werewolf gave him a look of warning, telling him to never ever come back to this place or he would make sure he died next time. He could not think for the loss of blood, but the wolf dragged itself to the steps of the Shrieking Shack and lay down on them, knowing what awaited him. Remus cried without tears.

It was Madam Pomfrey who found him in the morning, lying naked and mostly dead on the steps of the Shack. She had conjured a stretcher for him immediately, covered him with a blanket and taken him back to Hogwarts as quickly as she could. "Stay with me, Remus," she pleaded, and when he did not answer her, she choked back a sob. "Please, Remus. We can't lose you, honey…"

Remus's eyes rolled in his head and he blinked hard before looking at her. "S-Sirius," he moaned, and tears rolled down his cheeks. It broke Poppy's heart.

Sirius was called out of class that day by Dumbledore, and he bit his lip nervously. He had not done anything of consequence, at least in the last forty-eight hours, and thus he knew it had something to do with Regulus. When he arrived at Dumbledore's office, however, Dumbledore was standing outside of it, waiting for him. "You called me, Professor?" he asked quietly, falling in step beside the man as he began to walk.

Dumbledore looked down at Sirius and gave a sad smile. "I regret to say that I did. As you well know, the full moon was last ni—"

"Remus!" Sirius exclaimed, the color flooding from his face. "Oh God…I have to…Oh God!" He was panicking, and he looked around the corridor spastically before Dumbledore reached over and took his elbow.

"Mister Black, before you go running off, I want to talk to you." He looked down into Sirius's face, seeing tears shimmering in his eyes, and he touched his shoulder. "Remus got into a fight with another werewolf last night, Mister Black. He is in grievous condition but has been calling for you all morning. I don't pretend that I don't know why. Madam Pomfrey is debating sending him to St. Mungo's for a few days, and if that occurs, I think you should go along. Remus will need a lot of help in the coming month."

Sirius looked away as tears slipped over the boundaries of his eyelids, and he nodded before he tore away from the older man and ran to the hospital wing. He burst through the door loudly, not even greeting Pomfrey as he made a beeline for Remus's personal bed. The curtains had been drawn, and he could hear labored breath. Terror struck him, and he wiped away his tears before he opened the curtains and stepped inside.

The sight of Remus made him want to throw up. Remus's face had a long, deep gash cutting from his forehead diagonally over his nose and down to his cheek along with thousand of other scratches on his face. His neck was skinned, his chest and shoulders unrecognizable beneath the bandages, save for where the bite scar was. He was covered from the waist down, but Sirius was willing to bet he did not fare any better below the belt. "Oh Remus…" he moaned, and he sat heavily on the stool beside the bed.

Remus saw him come in and looked away, not having enough blood in him to blush properly. He drew in a shaky breath and swallowed as tears slipped down his scratched cheeks, and he gave a terrible sob as Sirius reached up to catch one of those tears. "'M sorry, Remus," Sirius said quietly, and he tried to catch his gaze. "I'm so sorry…for being a prick, for accusing you of anything, for all of it…"

"Sirius…" Remus whispered, and he tried to lift his hand. It hurt, but he could do it. Slowly, he moved it to slip into Sirius's hair. "Thought I'd never see you again…" He sounded so tired.

Sirius leaned over and kissed Remus for a long time, neither of them noticing when Madam Pomfrey came in until she lay her hand on Sirius's shoulder. He did not jump, but pulled away from kissing Remus to look at her, his cheeks aflame. Her eyes did not cast judgment. "Sweetheart, I've spoken with the doctors at Mungo's. They are sending over the supplies I need, so Remus will remain here. I suspect you will be remaining in here as well?" She smiled as Sirius nodded and looked down to Remus.

"Is he gonna…be scarred really badly?" he asked quietly, slipping his hand into Remus's. Remus had never opened his eyes after the kiss, and he swallowed when Sirius asked that question.

"No," Poppy said confidently, and she moved to begin working on Remus, using a salve to cure the tiny cuts on his face. "See how I'm doing this, Sirius? I need to retrieve the medicine from Dumbledore, as he will be the one receiving it. I can trust you to heal these little cuts on his face, arms, and legs, can't I?"

Sirius nodded and took the salve from her, dipping his fingers into it. "Thank you for letting me stay," he said quietly, and he smiled as she patted his back and walked out of the curtained area. Remus moaned softly as Sirius's hands made those cuts disappear without a trace, and he opened his eyes to look at him.

"Madam Pomfrey caught you snogging me," he said quietly, and he whimpered as Sirius's hands touched on a bruise invisible above the skin. "Careful…Sirius, I want to apologize to you…"

"No you don't," Sirius reprimanded, and he leaned over him again, catching his lips and sliding his tongue deep into his mouth. Remus's hands lifted gingerly, and he buried them in Sirius's hair, panting into his mouth during the kiss. "I forbid you to apologize to me. I was an arse, Moony. I was terrible to you and I deserve to be punched and I beg you to forgive me, please, because I love you and I've never told anyone that before but it's the honest truth and I almost lost you today, Remus and I would hate myself for forever if you died and didn't know that I love you." He said this great run-on sentence in one breath and flushed after.

Remus's cheeks turned as red as they could and he struggled to sit up, gasping in pain but not commenting on it. He wrapped his arms around his lover and rested his ungashed cheek on Sirius's shoulder, swallowing thickly. "I shouldn't have slapped you," he whispered, and he closed his eyes as tight as they could close. "I was so mad. The wolf was out for blood tonight, and all I could wonder was if I would ever get to tell you I was sorry and that I didn't mean it. I just…just wanted to tell you so much that even if I died right now I would be happy because I got to tell you I'm sorry and that I love you, too."

They held each other for a long time, right until Remus fell asleep against Sirius and Sirius lay him back down, rubbing salve on his minor cuts. As Remus sighed in his sleep, Sirius knew how lucky he was.


	12. Exposed

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Exposed**

**Part 12 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Remus spent a week in the Hospital Wing before Madam Pomfrey would let him go back to Gryffindor Tower. Sirius had stayed with him the entire time, only leaving for classes and sometimes not even bothering with that. This was not only an annoyance to Madam Pomfrey, but sometimes to Remus as well. "Sirius," he would say, sitting up and glaring at him. "You've been staring at me for ages! Get off your bum and go _do_ something!" And so Sirius would stand up and stretch before he stood beside Moony's bed and leaned over to kiss him.

"There. That's doing something."

Remus had sighed in exasperation at least three thousand times that week, but secretly, he enjoyed it. Seeing Sirius so concerned and devoted to him was heartening, and if he could move properly, he would have latched onto him more than once. He was sad that he had to resort to sitting there and accepting a light snog now and then. When Poppy came in and told him that he was free to go, but that he should be careful, he nearly leapt out of bed. Sirius, at the time, was in class, and so he sighed to think that he would have to walk all the way back to Gryffindor by himself.

He was perhaps halfway there when he could not walk anymore from exhaustion. A week in bed had been very bad for him, and even the smallest excursion such as this one was agonizing. He moved to lean against the wall and rest, sighing as he heard the bell for class change. Maybe someone would come up this way.

The minute the bell rang, Sirius ran down the hallways for the Hospital Wing, getting to the door and panting like mad as he hung on the doorframe. Remus's bed was empty. Clapping his hands, he whisked away from the door and through the castle, hair a black banner behind him.

Remus smiled as he caught sight of his winded lover running in his direction, and when he called to him, Sirius tripped over his awkward feet and fell to the floor, skidding a few feet. "Moony," he gasped from the floor, and he looked up at him with a devil's grin. "She let you out!"

"I hadn't noticed," Remus said quietly as Sirius picked himself up from the ground. There was a moment between them when they said nothing, just looked at each other, but then Sirius was slipping his arms around his boyfriend's waist carefully and drawing him as close as he could without causing pain. "Hello there," Remus breathed, wrapping his arms around Sirius's neck there in the middle of the corridor between classes. He did not give a damn. "Did you come to help me up to the Tower?"

"No sir," Sirius said quietly, and he moved to bury his face in Remus's neck. "But I did come to ah…_help you up_." He flicked his tongue along the pale skin of Remus's neck, tasting medicine on him that made him pull a face. "Oh God. You're having a shower. You taste like the Potions classroom smells."

_Damn_, Remus thought, and he blushed for a moment before he looked down at the touching of their chests. "I…can't stand long enough to take a shower by…by myself, I think," he whispered. Sirius gawked at him before he gave a near-frantic nod.

"I'll come in with you, then," he said quietly, and when he saw Remus's pretty blush, he gulped and let go of him, grabbing the bag of Potions Pomfrey had sent along for Remus, and he reached out to take Remus's hand. Together, although nervous, they walked up the steps to their dormitory, quite too shy to look at one another as they grew closer to the portrait of the Fat Lady. When they went through and up to the bedroom, Sirius shyly looked over at Remus. "You're…okay with this?"

Remus snorted, trying to hide how very terrifying this step was to him. "Don't be a baby, Sirius," he demanded, and he set his stuff down before he gathered his shower things, taking a deep breath before he turned his back to Sirius. "Doesn't mean you can watch me get in the nuddy pants, though. 'M not stripping for the likes of you." His eyes gave a playful twinkle, and he unbuttoned his shirt before sliding it off. The trousers were easy, as were the shoes and socks, too: they had all seen one another in pants before, but never anything less. Standing there in the quiet dormitory, he paused as he played with the waistband of them a little, knowing he was stalling. "You aren't watching me, are you?"

Sirius was staring at him with wide eyes, watching him uncover inch by inch of skin that he had never before the past few weeks thought that he would get to see. "No, I'm not watching," he lied, knowing Moony would not look over his shoulder, and he felt his cheeks light aflame and his pants tighten as Remus slid those boxers down over his hips and let them fall to the ground. "Have mercy," Sirius breathed, taking in the sight of Remus like that, and without even thinking about it, he strode up behind him and took him in his arms from behind.

Remus felt himself blush all over, but he leaned back into Sirius, his arms coming up to rest on the other's. "You watched me," he accused softly, looking down at the ground with a terribly embarrassed smile. He did not care at all, especially now that Sirius was holding him, warm and soft in his robes against bare skin.

"I didn't." Sirius kissed Remus's hair for a moment before he let him go, undressing very quickly behind him and swallowing before he pulled him against him again, half-erect from the tension. His semi-arousal pressed against Remus's arse, and he felt the other shudder. "Come take a shower with me?"

Remus had been terribly embarrassed, hearing Sirius undress behind him, but suddenly Sirius was not only naked, but touching him with that nakedness. He did not quite want to move, more comfortable here in the nude with Sirius pushing half-hard against him than he thought he ever would be in the shower, but Sirius was soon dragging him off to the shower and turning on the hot water, taking a deep sigh before he turned around to catch his first glimpse of Moony from the front. He thought his eyes were going to bug out of his head, and Remus blushed, pushing him back into the falling water. "Get in the shower and stop gawking at my bits!" he squawked, and he stepped into the shower as well.

"B-but you're…you're too short to have that sort of…of equipment!" Sirius hissed, and he stared at him, his black hair plastering itself to his scalp. He was suddenly quite shy of his own endowment, and he looked down, comparing them. "I—"

Remus quickly strode forward, a tomato-red, and pushed Sirius up against the wall of the shower, looking into his eyes for a moment before he crushed their lips together. He took another step closer and they were touching all over, bits to bits and chests to chests; he did not want to waste time listening to how well-endowed he was when he could be doing _this_.

Sirius's eyes slammed shut and he whimpered into the kiss as his arms slipped around Remus, one hand clutching his shoulder-blade and the other groping his wet arse. Oh God, he was glad Remus was out of the hospital wing. They could have been doing this ages ago—why hadn't they? Oh yes, he remembered, and then it was gone again as the soaked Remus moved to kiss his neck. "Nngh…I love you, Moony…"

"You…_what the flying fuck_?" Both Remus and Sirius gave a terrible start as they heard this from the doorway, and they turned to see Peter staring at them in horror. "S-Sirius…Remus…I…Ewww…" he managed to stammer, and he hurried out of the shower area.

Remus gingerly put his face in his hands and leaned against Sirius. "Oh God…OhGodohGodohGod…" he moaned, and he shook his head. "He's gonna tell James…" He could already hear footsteps pounding up the stairs, and he looked frantically at Sirius. "Do something!"

Sirius looked around in a panic and did the only thing he could think of: he pushed Remus's hands down and drew him closer. "If he's going to find out…" But he never finished, instead opting to slide his tongue into his lover's mouth. Remus's eyes widened a moment before he let them slide closed, hearing James and Peter come running through the dormitory. He braced himself, half expecting to be hit as he and Sirius pressed together as firmly as they could without hurting one another.

James followed Peter into the bathroom and blinked as Peter presented him with the two snogging boys. "See, James! _What the fuck_!"

"What the fuck indeed, Peter, if I didn't already know. Sirius told me last week." James ran his fingers through his hair and made a face. "If Remus's naked arse is the big thing you had to sho—or, you know, that um…rather impressive todger of his…DAMN Moony!"

Remus stopped kissing Sirius to give James a nasty look. "You knew? You KNEW? EVERYONE get the FUCK out of here so I can HAVE my bath and a good YELL at Sirius! God_damnit_!" He was getting furious. He wanted to have a shower without being ogled, and he wanted his shower alone with Sirius!

James and Peter scampered as though they had been burned, and Remus glared at Sirius. "You told." Two words, small and powerful.

"I had to, Moony! James was getting mad about why I wouldn't spend any time with him when you were in the hospital wing! I didn't want to keep it from…him…Mmmn…" He tilted his head back as Remus began to accost his neck and collarbone, his hands lifting to rest on the lycanthrope's hips. "Forgive me for not asking…"

Remus looked up at him and grinned. "Fine. I'll forgive you if you wash me," he proclaimed, and he turned his back to Sirius, who immediately snatched the soap and began soaping up his lover's back.

"You won't be scarring much from last week, it appears," he whispered, and he cleaned the hospital smell from him. He blushed when he had washed his chest and back, leaving only several key places to wash, and Remus was not asking for the soap. Lathering up his hands, Sirius took a deep breath before he reached around and sifted his fingers through the thick brown curls between Remus's legs, and he smiled as Remus leaned back into him. He kissed his ear before he slid those soapy hands around his erection, pulling back Remus's foreskin and washing it gently before he reached back with one hand and rolled his testicles between slick fingers.

"S-Sirius," Remus breathed as he rested his head back against the other's shoulder, and he wrapped his arms back around Sirius's hips. "M-Madam Pomfrey said no…no sexual activity for two weeks because I'll grow faint…" he said, opening his eyes and looking up at Sirius.

"Do you feel faint?" Sirius asked as he stroked him, and when Remus shook his head, Sirius gave a nod. "Then shhh." He smiled and swallowed hard as Remus gave a little buck of his hips, because when he came back, he trapped Sirius's prominent hard-on with his arse. Closing his eyes, Sirius rubbed him as well as he knew how to touch himself, and he moaned as Remus turned his head to lock their lips and then bury his face in Sirius's neck to muffle his moaning.

Remus suddenly felt very lightheaded, and he swallowed hard, thinking he was going to come. "Oh God, S-Sirius, I'm going to c—"

What happened next was certainly not what Sirius expected. Instead of finding himself with a handful of Remus's fluid, he found himself catching Remus before he hit the floor, and he stared at the unconscious boy with wide eyes. "Oh, we've got all the damn luck!" he snarled, and he held Remus up to rinse him off properly before he sighed and carried him, quite nude, into the dormitory, where James and Peter were waiting with smirks that quickly vanished when they saw that Remus looked quite dead.

"You killed him," James whispered as Sirius lay Remus down on his own bed and performed a mild drying charm on him, not bothering with a towel. He did, however, snatch one for himself, and he wrinkled his nose at James.

"He fainted on me," he said, and he dried off before dressing in a comfortable robe and then sliding into bed beside the nude Remus, whom he covered up with the thick blankets and joined beneath them. He gave James a grin before he drew the drapes. "I'm just that good…"


	13. Just Because

**Author's notes**: You guys ate my last chapter up!

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Just Because**

**Part 13 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Remus Lupin woke up in Sirius Black's bed, yawning and sitting up to give his eyes a rub. He was alone, and he was quite disappointed about it. The last thing he could remember was Sirius in the shower with him, kissing him and then touching him for the first time. And now he was in bed. "Sirius?" he called out sleepily, and he moved to open the drapes around the bed when he heard a crinkle of paper. Letting the sunlight in, he took the parchment that was on his pillow and squinted at it.

_Moony,_

_You've slept in as always, so good afternoon! Today's Hogsmeade, but since you're probably not feeling up to walking around all day, I'll bring you the usual and maybe a little something extra. I would love to stay here and finish what we started last night, but Jamesie is making me go. I'll think about you all day._

_Love you,_

_Sirius_

Remus read the letter several times over and blushed, having a moment and hugging it to his chest. "Sirius…" he sighed, and he closed his eyes. He wished Sirius had stayed, too, to finish what they had started the night before in the shower. He thought for a few moments of Sirius touching him, of Sirius holding him in his arms and stroking him in the hot water.

Before he could get worked up, he hauled himself out of bed and went to the window. He had not slept in too late, since the carriages were just pulling out of sight. Going to his knapsack, he pulled out his homework and began working on it.

Sirius jumped out of the carriage the moment they arrived in Hogsmeade, grabbing James by the arm and pulling him out onto the main street. "We have to go to Honeydukes and get Moony's chocolate supply!" he exclaimed, and he pulled his best friend down the cold street to the candy shop.

"Calm down," James snapped irritably, and he sniffed. "We have all day."

"No, I'm going back on the early carriage. Moony shouldn't be by himself all day, not when he's still recovering. He might need my help," Sirius chirped as they moved into the crowded shop, pulling James through the crowds of people to the chocolate section. He smiled to himself, knowing how excited Moony would be to be standing where he was with the cash he had in his pocket. He had been selling some of Remus's old notes that he had been given a long time ago to the younger years, and as such he had a good pocketful of money. He began filling his arms with Moony's favorite chocolates.

James gave him a bit of a sour look. "You really like Remus, don't you?" he asked, and when Sirius turned to give him a strange look, James smiled. "I don't care if Remus and I get in fights all the time. You'd better not treat him like shit. I'd tell you I'd kick your ass, but I think he can manage that all on his own."

Sirius stared at him, several Galleons worth of chocolate in his arms and a chocolate sucker stick in his mouth. "'M not gonna hurt Moony," he said, slightly muffled. "He'd kick my arse." He gave a devilish grin and dumped all the chocolate into James's shopping basket. Snatching the basket from him, he continued to pour chocolates into it before he controlled himself and scampered up to the counter. "I want to get him something else besides these. Something important."

James rolled his eyes and helped Sirius unload the basket onto the counter. "Well, I've got an idea; I saw something in that shop by Zonko's. You probably won't be able to afford it all, but…I'll loan you the money." He smiled as Sirius shelled out the money for the chocolate and helped him carry the bags. "Let's hurry, shall we? I'd say they're relatively popular."

Remus was getting bored very quickly; he had finished his homework, and taken a proper shower, and now he was playing Wizard Chess with a second year. When he heard the portrait open behind him, he did not bother to look back because it was much too early, but he felt arms slide around his shoulders and he whipped around. "Sirius, you're back early…You made me break my concentration, you cad."

The second year flashed her pretty smile at Sirius and giggled as he kissed Remus's ear. "Did I do that?" Sirius inquired, and he smiled to the girl. "Sorry, Alice, but I've got to steal your partner away…"

"S'all right," she said, and she stood up from the board. "Thank you for the game, Remus. You were kicking my arse anyway." She gave them a lingering gaze before she giggled and scampered away from them to join her best friend.

Remus watched her before he turned around to stare at Sirius. "Have fun?" he asked, and he pulled a face as Sirius showed him an enormous bag. "Oh God. If that is all for me, Sirius Black, I swear to you—"

"Something is mine," he whispered, and he pulled Remus up from his chair. "Come on." He found himself blushing a little as Moony's hand slid into his, and he took him upstairs into the dormitory. When Remus sat down on the bed, Sirius sat across from him, crossing his legs on the mattress and beginning to pull contents out of the bag.

"Sirius..." Remus hissed as his boyfriend began to pull out more chocolate than he had ever seen in his life off of a store shelf. "Sirius, you're broke. You can't afford all of this!" he exclaimed as he picked up a very large bar of his favorite flavor. "Where did you get the gold?"

"No matter," Sirius said quietly, and when he had emptied the pounds and pounds of chocolate out onto the bed, he looked into the bag and swallowed hard. His gift was still in the bottom. "I um…have something else for you," he claimed, and he blushed at the fury on Remus's face. "Don't give me that look." He pulled out a wrapped package and placed it in Remus's hands.

Remus shook it playfully, blinking because it was heavy but did not rattle or anything. "This had better not be a book," he said quietly, giving the other a nasty look before he pulled the paper from a nondescript cardboard box. Sliding his fingers through the tape holding it closed, he lifted the lid and stared inside. "Sirius? What's this?"

Sirius reached in and took one of the two small mirrors. "Two-way mirror. We…we enchant them so whenever we look in, we can talk through them. Prongs got a cheap pair for me and him, but this pair is much nicer." The mirrors were beautiful, cherry wood trimmed in gold, and when Remus turned his over, he saw their named carved into it in flowing script. "Touch your wand to it and say my name," Sirius said quietly, and he did it along with him a moment before they appeared in one another's mirrors. "How's that?" Sirius asked, a grin on his face.

Remus stared down into it for a few moments before he looked up into Sirius's face. "You're a bastard," he whispered, and he pushed the chocolate and mirrors to one side before he seized Sirius around the neck and kissed him on the lips. "I don't have anything to give you! You're such a sodding bastard…"

Sirius wrapped his arms around Moony's lower back and blinked in surprise when tears spilled down Remus's face. "Moony, what?" he asked softly, closing his eyes as he was given a very wet kiss. "You great pouf, I love you, too…"

Remus grinned into the kiss and gave Sirius a squeeze as tight as he could manage. "Thank you…It's the nicest thing anyone's ever given me. I, um…I want you to…to do what you said you would do in your letter to me this morning."

Sirius blinked. "Too late to skip out on Hogsmeade, Moony…I've already gone and come back," he said, and he slipped a hand into the other's hair.

"No…I mean…You said you would finish what you started last night, you know? I think as long as it's not hot and as long as…as long as I'm not standing up, I won't pass out again." He was sure his face was going to burn right off, but Sirius was not faring much better in the color department, and he looked away. "Nevermind…"

Sirius shook his head. "No. No, not nevermind. I'd love to." He swallowed and scratched Remus's scalp with his short fingernails, feeling him melt in his arms. "I think that's a great idea, actually."

* * *

Notes: This is not the end of the chapter, but due to its graphic nature and this website's policies, I cannot post the remainder here. To see the rest of this chapter, please attend (sakaim. livejournal. com), just delete the parenthesis and spaces. You can find the rest there! Happy reading!


	14. Feeling Threatened

**Author's notes:** Soon I hope to be opening my own slash website. Would any of you be interested in reading my original fiction?

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Feeling Threatened**

**Part 14 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Sirius woke up early Sunday morning and slipped out of bed, not wanting to wake Remus up. He had learned in the three months they had been together that Remus did not enjoy being wakened even with touches and kisses; it was best to leave him alone. Pressing a kiss to his sleeping forehead that did not even make him stir, Sirius dressed himself and brushed his hair haphazardly before he bounced downstairs and to the Great Hall for breakfast.

He frowned as he walked in to breakfast to find none of his friends up and awake; in fact, most of the student body was missing. Pairs of students were scarce about the tables, and his eyes moved to the only single person in the room: Regulus. He could hear his heart beating in his ears, knowing that he needed to talk to Regulus to attempt to convince him that what he was doing was ridiculous. Without a thought, he sat down beside his brother at the Slytherin table. "Morning…"

Regulus looked up at his brother through rough fringe, his brown eyes narrowing. "What the hell do you want?" he whispered in a low voice, which sounded comical to Sirius because Regulus's voice had not even finished changing. "Blood traitor, don't you have that boyfriend of yours to shag?"

Sirius snarled, wondering for a moment why he had even bothered to come over here. "Don't you say a goddamn word about Remus," he growled, and he reached over to snatch Regulus's left arm, shoving the sleeve of it up and feeling shock reel through him as he found no mark. "Mother lied. You _haven't_ joined Voldemort, have you?" He released that arm with a sneer.

"I'm too young to get the Dark Mark," Regulus replied, immersing himself in his breakfast. He looked much like Sirius, but his nose was larger and his eyes very dark. He might have been very pleasant to look at if he were not permanently scowling. "The Dark Lord wishes me to be older before he marks me. You still have time, too, Sirius. You could redeem yourself in the eyes of our mother and father…Think! _Think_ of it, Sirius! Someone who is a sucker for power like you could go so far." He looked up at his older brother, a sort of pleading in his eyes, and Sirius saw for a split second the little brother who used to be his best friend.

Then the words Regulus spoke to him hit him hard, and he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Regulus, but if you, mother, and father are gonna in league with Voldemort, well…I'm afraid we can't be related anymore." He took a piece of toast and popped it into his mouth as he stared at his little brother. "Don't you think you'd be better off _not_ acting like Mum and Dad? Do you honestly want to be like that?"

Regulus snorted. "Sorry, Sirius, but I would like to be included in the inheritance when they kick it. You're being written out of the will unless you change your mind." He smirked at the look on Sirius's face. "Yeah. They meant it when they said you would be disowned."

Sirius glared at him, standing up abruptly. "Oh, what are you going to do? Gonna go tell Dumbledore on me?" Regulus's lip curled, and he gave a choked laugh as Sirius hurried out of the Great Hall in a fury. "That's what I thought," Regulus barked after him, and he continued to eat.

Sirius could not see straight, adrenaline coursing through him. He should tell Dumbledore, he knew, and he tried to will his feet to walk towards the Headmaster's office, but they would not go. Instead, he found himself climbing the steps of Gryffindor Tower and bursting into the common room. It was still early; no one was down there yet save for a first year or two. They were not spared a glance as he pounded up to the dormitory.

Remus had woken up earlier than usual, so when Sirius came running into the room looking distraught, he put down the letter he had just received from his Mum and gave him an odd look. "Sirius?" he asked quietly as his boyfriend threw himself down on the bed. "What's wrong?" It was strange to see Sirius upset this early in the morning.

"They're actually going to disown me, Remus," he sighed, and he leaned over on the other's shoulder to hide his eyes. "I thought she was just bullshitting me. You're damn lucky, you know. Your Mum loves you…"

Remus wrapped an arm around him and gave him a little shake. "Ah, Sirius, you don't need her or Regulus. You know that; you've been without them for a long time." He rubbed Sirius's lower back in circles.

Sirius sighed and nodded. "I guess…What am I going to do on the holiday? School ends in two weeks! James is going on holiday and I can't go home and—"

Remus smiled and handed Sirius the letter his mother had sent him. "You'll come home with me," he claimed, and he smiled as Sirius bit his lower lip. "Don't make that face. It's not going to be any trouble."

Sirius read over the letter, in which Remus's mother said that yes, she had received Remus's letter and she and his father would find it a pleasure to spend the summer hols with Sirius. She would begin preparing Remus's bedroom to accommodate two people, and she would go grocery shopping before she picked them up at Platform 9 ¾ . Sirius lowered the letter and grinned at Remus. "I'll…I'll come home with you! I don't know why I didn't think of it," he said almost breathlessly, and he took Remus's free hand.

"I thought you hadn't. That's why I wanted to ask Mum if you could come, so you wouldn't have to surprise anyone at the end of term," Remus claimed, and he kissed Sirius's cheek.


	15. Meeting Remus's Parents

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Meeting Remus's Parents**

**Part 15 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Sirius Black was not nervous over how well he did on the exam he had just finished. It was his final one, meaning that summer of 1975, even if they were still at Hogwarts, was officially there. He packed up his quill and parchment before he bounced out of the classroom, grinning to see Remus waiting for him out in the hall. "Hi," he said almost breathlessly, and he walked up to give the other a very wet lick on the cheek.

"Damn it!" Remus snapped, and he swiped at the spit on his cheek, making a sour face. "How many times have I _told_ you not to do that!" He reached up and punched Sirius in the shoulder.

Sirius grinned as Remus took a swing at him, and he seized his lover by the upper arms to stop him from doing it again. "I think you will have to tell me…at least seven thousand more times. I'll be keeping count, mind you, so you should probably start cracking on that," he said in an aloof tone, and he took Remus's arm. "How was your Ancient Runes exam?"

Remus made a face and shook his head. "Let's not talk about that, shall we? You look pretty laid back for just having taken your Muggle Studies. Was it easy?" He smiled as Sirius pretended to look thoughtful, which always looked to Remus as though he were fighting a rather nasty bout of constipation.

"No. At least I don't think so. I slept through half of it!" Sirius chirped, and he smirked as Remus pushed him away with a dirty look. "Oh, don't give me that. It was easy, you dolt." He clapped his hands together a little and started climbing the stairs up to the tower. "Are you packed already? I am. I'm nervous about meeting your Mum. What if they find out about us? What if they hate me? What if they don't let us sleep in the same room?" He was suddenly full of questions.

Remus grinned at him and followed him up the steps. He was healing nicely, so walks to and from class were no problem anymore, but he liked to fake it sometimes just so he could hang on Sirius's arm without looking girly or stupid. He suspected that Sirius knew this and played along anyway, but as long as no one said it, he would continue. "I think, Sirius, that my Mum will let us sleep in the same room," he laughed, and he reached up to take Sirius's hand, letting him pull him up the stairs. "I'm already packed, they _won't_ hate you, and if they find out about us, well, then that's one less thing to worry about," he answered.

Sirius laced their fingers as he pulled Remus up the stairs, and when they reached the top, he took the time to stop and lean in to kiss his nose right in front of James and Peter. He heard James snort and Peter gag, and when he pulled away, he grinned at them. "Well, I hope you're right, Moony," he said softly, and together the four boys went into the Tower, discussing their exams and spending quality time together before they had to leave one another the next day.

On the train the following day, Sirius and James could not seem to let go of one another. Remus smirked at them over the newspaper as they pretended to share "one last snog" before their long summer apart, and James swore that he would have Remus and Sirius in for a week and Peter would have to come too because there would be great food (which, truly, was the deal-maker for Remus). When the two had settled down enough to speak like normal human beings, James was perched on Sirius's lap and grinning at Remus. "So you gonna tell your Mum?"

Remus sighed and shook his head. "No," he claimed, and he folded his newspaper, setting it on the seat beside him. He looked up and smiled as Lily Evans came in to sit with them. "Hi Lily. And no, I think Mum would have kittens, honestly. Muggles aren't quite lenient about that sort of thing."

Lily smiled and sat down beside Remus, giving him a Chocolate Frog and smiling as he opened it and caught it before it had a good jump. "Ah, Remus, every time I've met your Mum, she seemed a right nice lady! Oh…I see your point. She's be disappointed that you chose such a great prat for a boyfriend, not that you were gay…"

Sirius made a strangled sound behind James, who was suddenly very heavy because he had stopped moving completely the moment Lily came in. Remus noticed this as well and smirked, elbowing Lily gently so she could see James gaping, complete with open mouth at her. Her cheeks ignited, and she kicked James in the shin. "Oh, stop it, you sod! You've seen me before!" she snapped.

"Not in that," James said, and he gestured to the green dress she had changed into. "Lily Evans, I think I _fancy_ you."

"What was your first clue?" she growled, and she stood up, giving him a nasty look. "Maybe it was when you tried to beat Remus up? Or the flowers at Valentine's Day? You're such a wanker!" She smiled at Remus before she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. "Maybe you should learn to be a man, like Remus."

Sirius roared in outrage in time with James, who both jumped up and tore after Lily as she cackled and ran from the compartment. Remus rubbed at his forehead and stood up, peeking out into the hall to see Sirius bellowing at James and Lily, who were scuffling on the floor. "LILY EVANS DON'T YOU EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER—"

Remus shut the door and made a face. "That's embarrassing," he moaned, and he shook his head. Peter nodded in agreement.

When they arrived at Platform 9 ¾, James hugged them all goodbye extensively before he trotted off to be with his parents. Sirius stood close to Remus's side, holding onto his trunk in the crowd of people, and he swallowed hard. "Remus, where are they?" he asked quietly, and he was just about to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek when there was a soft clearing of someone's throat.

"Remmie, honey…" Sirius's eyes widened as a slightly heavy woman with shoulder-length brown hair the same shade as Remus's and a tall, tired-looking man with Remus's hazel eyes and blonde hair came up to them. The woman grinned suddenly, radiating warmth, and she hurried forward to seize her son about the neck. "Oh Remus, we missed you! Home's just not the same without you…And look at you!" She released her son to look at Sirius for a moment before she threw her arms around him too. "You poor thing. We're only too happy to keep you, dear, too happy to keep you! You are a sight. The both of you!" She pulled back from Sirius, who looked shocked and flustered.

"Now, now, Flora," laughed Remus's father, and he stuck out a hand, shaking Sirius's with a nice smile. "It's nice to meet you, Sirius. I was only too happy to agree to let one of the Black children take refuge in our home; your father and I never did get along. A bit of a smack in the face to him, it was, when I mentioned it at work. Most displeased, he was. I don't think he could be any more angry if you had been staying with the Weasleys!"

Sirius flushed a little then laughed. "Well, if it pisses Father off, it was a good move on my part! I think we will get along, Mr and Mrs Lupin…" he claimed, and he smiled as Remus hid a chuckle behind his hand.

"Well, introductions over, let's get hoe and get settled in, shall we boys?" John Lupin asked, and Remus and Sirius nodded in unison. Sirius was quite ready to get settled in a room where it was only him and Remus, not everyone they went to school with.


	16. The Home He Never Had

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Home He Never Had**

**Part 16 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

The Lupin family and Sirius used a Ministry-loaned car to drive back to their home in the countryside, and Sirius found himself being very, very careful not to touch Remus at all in front of his parents. The drive was a long one, however, and soon enough Sirius found himself with a lapful of Remus's head, and he stroked his boyfriend's hair while he slept. Flora Lupin looked back to smile at them. "Remus never can stay awake in the car for long, poor dear. The vibrations lull him right off to sleep." She reached back and rested her hand on Sirius's wrist. "Thank you, Sirius Black. It's obvious he has found a good friend in you," she whispered, and she blushed a little. "He never had friends as a little boy. He's very shy."

Sirius fought back the urge to laugh at the notion of his Remus being shy, and he gently scratched his lover's scalp. "Remus has tons of friends at school. He's not shy or anything…" he said in Remus's defence, but he liked the fact that Flora was concerned about her son. His mother had never cared that much.

Remus shifted in his sleep a little and murmured Sirius's name in a tiny, muffled voice. Flora gave Sirius a smile and touched her son's shoulder before she nodded. "Well, I rest easily knowing he has at least one very good one. If he didn't have anyone but you, I would be happy." She watched them for another moment before she turned back around in her seat.

Sirius watched her for a moment before he smiled a little to himself and stroked Remus's ear with the pad of his finger. He felt Remus shift again, and in a moment the sleeper rolled onto his back and looked up at Sirius through blurry eyes. "We there yet?" he asked groggily, and Sirius shook his head a little, wanting nothing more than to lean down and kiss Remus right on his dry lips. He considered it for a moment, but Flora kept glancing at them in the rearview, and he did not want to risk it.

"We should be home in about ten minutes, Remmie," she said quietly, and she leaned over onto John's shoulder.

Remus yawned and sat up, stretching his arms a little before he leaned onto Sirius's shoulder, closing his eyes but not sleeping. Sirius felt himself blushing, and he moved his arm to wrap about the other's shoulder, letting him get comfortable. "You're gonna love my house, Sirius," Remus said quietly, and he grinned up at him. "It's not as big as yours, I'm sure, but Mum's got good taste and she's a really great cook."

Sirius beamed down at him, only being perhaps seven inches away from his lips, but he calmed himself and nodded. "Yeah, I bet I will. I hated my parents' big house; it was useless. There were rooms with nothing in them because there was just nothing to put there." He made a face and then laughed.

Within fifteen minutes, they had pulled up to a little house set on at least twelve acres of nothing but green grass and a huge stretch of woods behind that was fenced in. Remus grinned as the car stopped, and he hopped out, hurrying around to the back of the car and pushing the trunk up, taking in a deep breath of the country air. A few moments later, Sirius joined him, and he grinned at Remus, taking the time that they were hidden behind the lifted trunk to kiss him lightly on the lips. Remus beamed at him after, and together they hauled out their trunks. "It's nice here," Sirius said quietly, and when they had emptied the trunk, they closed the trunk together.

They dragged their trunks up into the house and up the stairs to Remus's bedroom. Sirius loved it; the bed was a bit larger than their beds at school, with plenty of room for the both of them, though he suspected it had been magically altered for them. The room was filled with books and art, and there was a desk on which there were several old sketches. "Are these yours?" Sirius asked as he went to the desk and looked at them, smirking at how silly some of them were. He saw himself in one of them, and he noticed that Remus had seemed to take extra care in drawing him, neglecting James and Peter and himself. "They are. You great pouf. I do look this much better than James and Peter for sure, but not you."

Remus hurried up and snagged the drawing from him, giving him a look. "Don't peek at my things, you sod! I should kick your a—ahaha…You can't always…get your way like this…" Sirius had seized him around the waist and buried his tongue in his ear, humming gently as he felt that Remus was just as ready for this alone time as he was.

"I can," Sirius whispered, and he wrapped his arms tight around his middle, moving to kiss him fiercely on the lips. He thought he was going to be lost there in Remus's room, kissing him like this, and he wondered if he would ever come out before there was a knock on the door. They leapt apart and tried to make themselves presentable before John came in, smiling at them. "Sirius, Remus, come downstairs and help your mother with dinner, won't you? I have to go to the Ministry for a bit."

The both of them nodded together and scampered downstairs. Sirius loved the house; it was filled with light and the floors shone cleanly. It made him think of those old American homes his mother had always fancied, with their white walls and casually elegant furniture. He walked into the kitchen and smiled at the glossy oak table and the pretty white plates on it. "You're home is perfect, Mrs. Lupin," Sirius said quietly, and he stepped up beside her, helping her chop carrots.

She smiled at him and nodded. "I like to think so, Mister Black," she said quietly, and she bumped her hip with Remus's. "Did you boys get settled in?"

"Yes, Mum. After dinner, we're going to turn in early. Travel's made me exhausted," Remus said, and he smiled at Sirius as he chopped celery. Flora nodded and moved to add the chopped vegetables she had finished to the large stew pot, and she stood back a little, smiling as Sirius and Remus moved closer to one another and gave one another unmistakable looks. She hoped Remus would tell her himself what was going on.


	17. The Shedding of Clothes

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Shedding of Clothes**

**Part 17 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Sirius had never experienced a more peaceful dinner. John Lupin was still at the Ministry, and Flora set some stew aside for him, smiling to herself as the three of them ate together. They did not speak much; Remus spoke idly of final exams and Sirius ranted about his own, saying that surely he had failed everything, especially in comparison to the Great and Omnipotent Remus Lupin. Flora laughed as Remus punched Sirius harshly in the shoulder.

After dinner, she insisted that she do the dishes and let the boys get some rest upstairs, that they had been traveling all day and needed an early turn-in. Remus smiled and nodded, leaning up to kiss her lightly on the cheek. "Thanks, Mum," he said quietly, and he gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Tell Dad I said good night when he gets in."

"I will, sweetheart. You and Sirius rest easily; you can sleep in tomorrow." She smiled as Sirius came up to her and gave her a little hug, and together he and Remus scampered upstairs.

They closed the door behind them, and Remus turned around then to look at Sirius, a strange look in his eyes. Sirius stared at him, eyes widening as he was pushed up against the wall and a tongue was slipped into his mouth. His arms clamped around his lycanthrope as he lifted one leg and wrapped it around the other's waist, his eyes sliding closed as Remus pressed hard against him. "I wanted to push you onto that fucking table," Remus growled as he pulled back and looked into Sirius's eyes with a fierceness that made Sirius's heart miss a step. "I wanted to push you onto that fucking table and make you scream so the neighbours could hear you, and my neighbours' house is two kilometers down the street."

Sirius swallowed hard and nodded a little, at a complete loss for what to say. He and Remus had never been able to make any noise at all, and the thought of being able to moan and carry on as he would really like to was pumping his blood faster and faster. "It's…t-too bad your Mum's home," Sirius breathed, and he gasped audibly as Remus latched onto his neck, biting him but not hard enough to break the skin. "Shit…" He had never experienced Remus like this; it was surely the nearing of the next full moon, which would occur the next week. But even with the past few moons, Remus had not been like this.

"It is too bad." This was spoken in hardly a breath, and Sirius's hands came up to bury in Remus's hair, holding his head close as he sucked on the most tender spots of his flesh. "Too, too bad…"

* * *

**(NC-17 stuff. Please visit sakaim. livejournal. com (remove the spaces) to view this scene)**

* * *

Flora froze downstairs as she heard the unmistakable tone of her son's voice ring through the thin walls of the house, and when Sirius's followed a moment later, she felt herself blushing. How embarrassing for her, she thought, and she busied herself in trying to finish her tea. It seemed three or four minutes before Sirius's infectious laughter sang through the house, and she heard Remus join in as well. She smiled. "Good for you, Remus," she said quietly, more to herself than to anyone else, and she went to the window, leaning her head against the frame as she waited for her husband to return home.

Remus and Sirius cleaned up with an old shirt, both having terrible cases of the giggles, and when they were decent enough to lie down in bed, they did not bother with clothes, instead curling up nude and warm together. Sirius lay behind Remus, his arm slung over his hips, and he kissed the back of his head. "Damn."


	18. The Awkward Talk

**Author's notes:** You guys ate that last chapter up!

**And now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Awkward Talk**

**Part 18 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

The full moon came and went, and Sirius was much more relaxed when Flora let him down into the basement, which had a blocked tunnel leading to the forest behind the house. When the transformation ended, the blockade swung aside, and there Remus lay on the other side, propped up by the dirt tunnel, and he lifted his head when Sirius said his name. They spent the day resting together, Remus drifting in and out of consciousness.

It was now a week later, and Remus was packing a knapsack full of clothes and his toothbrush and his wand (just in case) while Sirius lay lazily on the bed, kicking his feet. "I'm excited. Do you think we're gonna go anywhere? I dunno if you've ever had Mrs. Potter's cooking, but she's tops at it. Not as good as your Mum's, though." He sat up and leaned over the foot of the bed to peer down at Remus on the floor.

Remus turned his head, blinking as he found himself quite close to Sirius, and he snorted, poking him in the forehead. "Get away from me, you dolt," he said, and he laughed as Sirius leapt off the bed and tackled him. "Damn it! Stoooooop!" Sirius was licking his face in that annoying way again, and he kicked at him, cackling as though he was being tickled to death.

They did not hear the knock on the door, and when Flora opened it to see Sirius pounced on his son and licking his eyebrow in a most unappealing manner, she lifted a hand to her lips and laughed. "Boys! Sirius Black, do climb off of Remus before you give him a hernia," she giggled, and she blinked as Remus darted from the floor and hid behind her.

Sirius grinned impishly, and he smoothed back his hair. "He needed punished. He poked me, and he delayed packing all day and now it's time to go and he isn't done!" He gestured violently to the half-packed bag Remus had been working on, and when Remus peeked around Flora's shoulder, he made a sudden move that caused his boyfriend to hide again.

Flora smiled and seized her son, dragging him back around despite his false screaming and shoving him at Sirius. "Perhaps if you weren't accosting him, he could finish. Sirius, I'm going to steal you for a little while. Remus, you finish packing!" she ordered, and when Remus began to diligently fold a shirt, she took Sirius by the arm and led him from the room.

Sirius felt butterflies in his stomach, and he looked at her quizzically when they were out of earshot. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked, and he looked around as they stepped outside and onto the porch. They sat down together on the wooden stairs on the porch, and he rested his hands on his knees.

She smiled and shook her head. "No, Sirius, you haven't done anything wrong," she said quietly, and she reached over to touch his shoulder. "I wanted to talk to you about Remus. I see the way you look at my son, Sirius Black." When he turned to stare at her, eyes as large as saucers, she smiled and gave his shoulder a good squeeze. "No, no, Sirius, I'm not yelling."

"Oh." He looked off down the driveway, wanting to take off running down it. He was not entirely sure that he would be able to have this conversation, especially without Remus there.

She released his shoulder and looked off in the distance with him. "John is beginning to suspect, you know, and I am concerned about it because you and Remus are very sweet and obviously very good for one another. John will likely not be nearly so calm about this, you understand. Remus is…our only son."

Sirius turned to stare at her blankly. "I don't think I'm the person you should be talking to about this, Mrs. Lupin," he confessed quietly, and he began to stand up, but she grabbed his wrist and shook her head. "No, Sirius. I can't talk to Remus about it; I want him to come to me and tell me about you. I want him to come to me, you understand, not the other way around."

He stared at her before he sighed and nodded. "Fine. What should I do?" he asked quietly, and he rested his chin in his hand.

Flora smiled and touched his hand. "That look you give him all the time? Don't. And don't play footsie at the dinner table." She laughed a little at the absurd blush on his face and felt herself blush a little as she leaned closer. "And um…being quieter in the evenings would be appreciated."

Sirius stood up then, afraid his face would burn right off, and he nodded awkwardly before he hurried back in the house. He had had enough of the talk, and so he went quickly up to their room, closing the door. "You're mum's gone off the deep end," he said quietly, but when Remus sent him a quizzical expression, he shook his head. "I can't tell you. She'll…she'll _know_…"

Remus shook his head and latched his bag before he stood up and set it on the bed. "Fine then. Well, I'm packed. Are you ready?" he asked, and he grinned as Sirius seemed to snap out of his horrified state and pulled him down onto his lap. Remus shifted on those thighs and wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck with a grin. "Apparently not…"

Sirius buried his face in the other's neck and kissed it a little. "No, I miss James more than I love you, I'm sorry to say," he smirked, and as Remus gave him a nasty look, he bounced him a little on his lap and nipped his ear. "Oh, stop it. James will have a calf if we don't get there on time. Let's go and we'll eat then when James and Peter calm down and go to sleep, I'll do dirty things to you in the guest bed."

Remus gave a false, delighted little giggle and wiggled a bit in that lap before he barked a laugh and leaned on him. "Promise?"

"Oh, I promise," Sirius said seductively, then he shoved his lover unceremoniously off of his lap and onto the floor. "But let's go! I WANT MY JAMESIE!"


	19. The Secret

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Secret**

**Part 19 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Remus was sure that, the moment they had entered the Potters' home, the next fifteen minutes were wasted in Sirius and James clinging to one another and squealing into one another's hair. He sighed and looked over at Peter, who had his nose wrinkled. "I had quite forgotten they did this," Remus said distastefully, and Peter nodded in agreement. Together, the two boys went upstairs and into James's room, which had been extended to accommodate four beds. Remus chose his and sat down on it, unpacking his things gingerly.

Soon, Sirius and James burst into the room, looking quite drunk from their elation, and Remus smirked as James swept Sirius into his arms and kissed him right on the forehead. "Watch it, James," Remus said quietly, that smile not quite hiding the danger in his eyes. "Sirius is my piece of ass, not yours."

Sirius squawked and then yelped as James nodded in recognition and dropped Sirius hard on the floor, the resounding thud making Remus and Peter wince. "GODDAMNIT, JAMES!" Sirius barked, and he scrambled off of the floor before tackling James to it. If Remus did not know better, he'd think they were hurting one another, but he DID know better. He got up and calmly moved to pick Sirius off of James, tossing him backward.

"Calm down, the both of you!" he ordered, smirking as they both saluted him from their places on the floor. "Now get up. James Potter, we are spending the weekend with you and I expect proper entertainment. Let's go play Quidditch!" He grinned at the look on everyone else's face; he was not the sort to play sports, but the day was beautiful and Sirius had gotten him quite worked up that morning. He needed to work it off.

"I…I agree!" Sirius yelled, and he thrust his fist into the air. A few moments later, the four of them were trampling out back to the broomshed.

Remus grew quite tired playing Quidditch, as he had been forced to play Seeker and was not as light and speedy as he had been when he was a little boy. When dusk cut their game short, Remus skipped dinner and declared that he was going to bed early. Sirius kissed his cheek and bade him goodnight, and the second he was gone, the remaining three boys grinned together.

"Have you found the right spells yet, James?" Sirius asked, and he fetched a familiar book off the bookshelf. "Rather, have you found the rest of them? I still have a damn black patch of fur on my leg; Remus just thinks it's a side effect of something or another. I wonder what I'll be…"

Peter grinned and leaned over James to look in the book in Sirius's lap. "Yeah, I got a weird bump on my arse. It's itchy as all hell…I was looking for more spells, to try an' get my pa to take it off, but nothing worked. I don't want to go to Mungo's 'cause they might know what we're doing."

"Good," James said. "No one can know; not our parents, not anybody. Not even Remus. When we get this figured out…Man, Sirius, are you ever gonna get laid." He made a face then laughed at the expression of horror on Peter's. Sirius beamed and stared poring through the book. "Oh, there's nothing in there. The real stuff…" James got up and went to the bookshelf, looking through the tomes for a moment before he pulled out a very thick, old book. "The real stuff's in here. I found it in Dad's library, pushed behind some books…"

"Did you lie in bed for long, from the sickness?" Sirius asked, giving him a pitying look. It was common knowledge that, when exposed to a library for long, James began to have fits. James gave a sad nod but smiled.

"Yeah, but It gave me time to read this, and I think we've found it. It'll just take a little tweaking for each of us individually, but then we should be set, once we learn how to do these right. They look a little hard, but all the more fun!" James said, and he looked around before he leaned in close. "If we master these spells when we get back to school, I think we'll have done it!"

Sirius grinned, wanting more than anything to tell Remus, but he knew that keeping it a secret would make it better when it all came out. "Great…I'm gonna go upstairs and keep Remus company. I wouldn't come up for a while, if I were you." He beamed and ran upstairs, followed by James's yelling.

When he got upstairs, he slipped into the bedroom and closed the door, seeing Remus huddled up in the far bed. He slipped over to it and climbed in, pulling the blankets over them and spooning him. "You sleeping?" he whispered, and he grinned as Remus rolled over to look at him.

"No," Remus replied in a breathy voice, and he wrapped his arm around Sirius's neck. "I was too busy wondering when you would stop being thick and come up here with me…" He moved his other hand to take Sirius's, drawing it down and onto his crotch. When Sirius gave a soft chuckle, Remus gave him a stern look. "I almost had to start myself."

That thought made Sirius shiver, and he swooped in to begin kissing Remus heart-stoppingly on the lips. He felt his heart begin to pound against his ribcage as he gave the flesh in his hands a warm squeeze. He could taste Remus's gasp, and he slid his hand lower to stroke his heated testicles and the very inside of the juncture of hip and thigh. "Thought about you all day," he whispered when their kiss broke for breath. "Thought about knocking you off your broom and shagging you in the grass. I would've, but Peter'd have thumped me."

Remus laughed and nodded, spreading his legs and sliding his hand inside Sirius's shirt. "Why do you have clothes on?" he inquired in a pained voice...

* * *

**(This scene edited; please visit sakaim. livejournal. com (delete the spaces!) for the deleted scene. It's a gem; don't miss it!)**

* * *

The sound of feet trampling up the stairs made Remus freeze though, and he and Sirius moved quickly, pulling on their pants and flinging themselves into a comfortable position just before James and Peter cracked the door. "We're coming in, whether you like it or not!" James yelled, and when he came in, he smiled to see his two best friends feigning sleep. "Night, guys."


	20. The Unexpected Reward

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Unexpected Reward**

**Part 20 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Summer was flying by faster than Remus ever thought it could. He and Sirius spent every other weekend with James and Peter, always at the Potters' home, and Remus had never been happier. Sirius was getting along well with Flora, James was pining over Lily, and Peter was expressing interest in Advanced Magic. Remus felt, for once, that his life and everyone in it was going in the right direction.

Until the one day in July when he received a letter from Dumbledore, that is.

Sirius was out in Hogsmeade with James, and Remus had opted to stay home, wanting a day of rest after a night of terrible nightmares. He had woken up screaming three times during the night, slicked in a cold sweat, and each time Sirius had sat up and brought him into his arms, cradling him and kissing his hair until he fell back asleep. "I'm sorry, Sirius," he would whisper against his neck, his arms winding around his middle. "So sorry…Tomorrow's your day out with James…"

"No, no," Sirius would breathe back, and he slid his fingers through his hair. He sounded so tired, as though he might pass out any second, but he sat up with Remus and soothed him back to sleep all three times. The alarm clock in the morning woke Remus before it did Sirius, and he sat up before he shook his lover awake.

"Get up, you lazy sod," Remus said sleepily, and when Sirius woke up and smiled at him, Remus could not help but lean down and kiss him softly. "Go on. You have to go to Hogsmeade today…"

He laughed as Sirius wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down, showing off a beautiful white smile before he kissed his cheek. "You're right…But I'd much rather be here in bed with you…We could shag, if you wanted," he whispered, eyes shining.

Remus flushed at the thought; they certainly had not shagged yet, had not gone any further than blowjobs, but Sirius had made a promise. "As wonderful as that sounds, you need to go to Hogsmeade with James. I can't stand you anymore," he claimed against his ear, and he rolled off of him to shove him off the mattress and onto the floor with a thud.

Sirius moaned when he hit the floor and wrenched himself to his feet, slouching into the adjacent bathroom. Remus had drifted off to sleep when Sirius got in the shower, but when he woke up again he was alone. Crawling out of bed, he checked the clock, seeing that it was well past noon, and he went downstairs.

"Good morning, layabout!" Flora chirped from the sink, and he went to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek before he sat down at the table. "Oh, dear, you got a letter from school. It's not a school list, or Sirius would have received one as well. It's there on the table."

Remus nodded and took the letter, inspecting the envelope before he opened it. He pulled out a thick letter, but the envelope was still heavy. He turned it over, eyes widening to the size of saucers as a heavy badge fell out of it. "Oh God. No, no, please…" He opened the letter, horror dawning on him as he began to read it aloud the more it sank in. "A-and I am pleased to inform you that you, along with L-Lily Evans, will be G-Gryffindor's fifth year Prefect…No, nonono…"

"Oh, Remus!" Flora exclaimed, and she seized her son from behind, embracing him. "How wonderful! Remus, what's wrong?" She looked at him with a cocked eyebrow as he buried his face in his hands. "Is this…is this bad?"

"Yes! How horrible. Oh Mum, Sirius will _kill_ me!" he whispered, and he seized the badge, shoving it in his pocket. "He can't see it. Mum, swear to me you won't tell him! He won't lo—like me anymore! This is a tragedy…"

Flora smiled sweetly at him. "Remus, Sirius is fond enough of you that I should think that this will hardly matter." She thought for a moment before she sat down in the chair next to him and took his hand. "From what I can see…Sirius is very fond of you," she said quietly, and when Remus blushed, she squeezed his hand. "Remus, you look very flushed…"

He shook his head. "I'm just upset, Mum," he said quietly, and he drew his hand from hers. "I'm just…" He looked up at her and blinked at the frankness of her gaze. "I uh…Mum…"

Flora rested her hand back on his and smiled. "Whatever it is you need to say, Remus, I'm listening," she claimed, and when he moved to hug her, she held him against her like she did when he was just a little boy. "You can tell me anything, Remmie."

Remus hid his face in her shoulder and closed his eyes, calmed by the familiar smell of her perfume. "Mama, I really, really want you to think about this, okay? I mean, it's important. Really important." He sat back and looked at her, sighing. If he was going to be burdened with telling Sirius he had been made a Prefect, he could tell his Mum about him and Sirius. He had wanted to more than anything ever since he had brought Sirius home, and she liked Sirius pretty well. "Will you listen to me before…before you yell?"

"I'm not going to yell, Remus," she said quietly, and she smiled as he blushed and looked at the floor. "I promise."

He nodded a little and sighed heavily. "Well, you know…I never…I mean, until Hogwarts…Even then I didn't, but then…" He made a face at himself before he looked her straight in the eyes. "Mum, I'm in love with Sirius." His heart rate tripled, and he had such a blatant look of terror on his face that Flora nearly laughed. "I mean, really, _really_ in love with Sirius."

Flora sighed and patted Remus's hand. "Good," she said quietly, and she leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Sweetheart, I'm happy for you. He seems to love you loads, too." She smiled as Remus embraced her again, and she patted his back. "Just don't tell your father. I'll do that…After you go back to school."

Remus laughed a little and nodded. "Okay. Mum, thanks," he whispered, and he grinned, absolutely beaming. "I feel loads better…But Sirius is really gonna kill me." He looked at the letter on the table and folded it before he pocketed it. "Don't tell him. I will."

They smiled at one another, understanding, and Remus stood up to go to the window. He looked out, staring over the fields and feeling very warm. Even if he was scared of telling Sirius, the thought of being a Prefect made him feel better about himself. He would finally be important.


	21. Decline

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Decline**

**Part 21 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Sirius came flying into the house that evening, scampering in through the door with a big grin on his face. "Hi Mrs. Lupin!" he exclaimed in passing, and she gave him a wave before he disappeared up the stairs. "I'm hoooooome!" he sang, and a moment later he threw open the bedroom door to be greeted by the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

Sitting on the bed, back against the wall and feet dangling over the side, was Remus, wearing nothing but a little smirk. He had obviously been busy, his legs spread wide and his hand wrapped around his dick, cheeks flushed a little. "Took you long enough," he said softly, seeing the bulge appear in Sirius's trousers. As Sirius came in slowly and closed the door behind him, Remus started to pump himself again, eyes slipping closed. "Thought you'd never come home."

Sirius had never gotten naked so fast. He half-ripped his clothes off and threw himself on the bed, already panting even though he had not been touched yet. "I'm a terrible, terrible person, Remus. I should have been home earlier…I've been a bad, bad boy…" he whispered before he started to kiss Remus's neck. "Let me make it up to you…Punish me…" He lay himself over Remus's lap, exposing that pretty white arse.

Remus slid his palm lightly over that sensitive skin and gave it a light smack. "I should punish you," he whispered, and he slid one long finger down to tickle the backside of Sirius's balls. "I should tan your hide right now, but I won't. I have to talk to you." He squeezed a handful of that supple flesh, and he smiled as Sirius arched it up higher. "Will you talk to me?"

"Yes," Sirius whispered, and he looked up with those pretty light eyes. "I'll talk to you. Anything, Remus. Anything, just do dirty, dirty things to me after…" He blinked as Remus rolled him over and lay a hand on his stomach, staring down nervously in his eyes. Sirius was suddenly afraid of that gaze, and he swallowed hard. "Remus?"

"I got a letter from Dumbledore today," Remus said quietly, and he took a deep breath, sliding his hand lower to stroke Sirius with a pleading hand. "I'm a Prefect, Sirius, and I'm…accepting it."

There was a moment before Sirius reacted. He stared up into Remus's eyes before he pulled away suddenly, giving him a nasty, nasty look. "A…a _Prefect_! Remus, you can't accept it! What the hell!" He was off the bed, not quite knowing why it was pissing him off so much. "You're not even…even…You can't!"

Remus's eyes narrowed, and he glared up at him. "Sirius, I can bloody well be a Prefect if I fucking want to! You and James have what you're good at, why can't I do something that I want to?" He crossed his legs, suddenly very aware that he was naked. Perhaps trying to butter up Sirius with the promise of sex was not such a good idea. Slowly, he pulled the blanket up over himself and looked away.

"You know what it means, don't you?" Sirius barked, and he shook his head, pulling on his clothes fiercely. "It means we can't fucking do anything anymore! You're a Preeeefect, you'll tell on us!" He pulled on his shirt and straightened it before he shook his head.

"I will not!" Remus protested, and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes, much to his horror. "How can you even say that? Damn it, Sirius, you and James have Quidditch, why can't I have something I want to do!" Why do you think it has to change something? FUCK you're so predictable!"

Sirius growled and tuned his back to Remus. "I suggest, Remus, that you think long and hard about this. I…I can't. Remus, I love you, but I can't let you be a Prefect. You can't." This was ruining all his plans. Two and a half years of working on becoming an Animagus just for Remus, but now that Remus was a Prefect, they would have to clean their act up. This was Dumbledore's fault, and Remus's fault for accepting.

Remus was shaking, holding back his tears, and he clutched the blanket to his chest for comfort. "You. Cannot. Tell ME what the FUCK I can DO, Sirius BLACK!" he shrieked, and he waved at the door. "You don't fucking OWN me, Sirius!"

Sirius grabbed the doorknob, feeling tears burning his eyes, and he opened it fiercely. "FINE! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!" He ran out, slamming the door hard behind him. Pounding down the stairs, he ran back out of the house and out into the field, carving a path in the tall, uncut grass. When he was out of sight of the house, he sat down in the grass and hugged his knees.

Remus stared at the closed door for a long time before he got comfortable in the bed and buried his face in the pillow. "YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT!" he screamed into his pillow, and when he felt someone sit on the edge of his bed, he did not look up.

Flora stared down at her son, who was buried in the blankets, and she touched his shoulder. She wanted to cry, seeing him shun her like this, and she smoothed his hair back from his forehead. "Sweetie…" she said quietly, and she saw tears running down his nose. "Are you…are you going to chase after him?"

"No," Remus whispered, and he shook his head a little. "He's a prat. I hate him, Mum." His voice was low and raspy, and Flora leaned down to kiss his temple. "Don't."

She sighed and nodded. "Fine. But you won't go to bed tonight angry, do you understand?" she asked, and when he did not answer, she patted his arm and got up. "Silence is assent, son. You know that." She left the room, leaving his door cracked.

Remus waited until she had gone downstairs to whimper into the pillow before pulling his badge from beneath it to stare at it. He would not apologize.


	22. Quiet

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Quiet**

**Part 22 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

When the sun set, Sirius shivered there in the darkness, staring up at the sky with itchy, swollen eyes. He was allergic to something in the grass, but he could not go back into the house yet. He knew he had made an arse of himself, and he was humiliated. He could practically see Remus smiling and eating dinner with his parents, glad he was out of the house because he had been such a jerk.

It was only when he started hearing night creatures prowling around that he decided it was time to go back, and so he crept back up to the house and peeked in the kitchen window. He expected to see Remus downstairs helping Flora with dinner, but instead it was just Flora at the sink. She was not washing the dishes, but staring at the water with knitted eyebrows.

Sirius swallowed his pride and went to the front door, giving a weak little knock. Flora opened the door and looked at him for a moment before she reached up and touched his cheek. "He's upstairs, sweetheart," she said quietly, and she stepped aside to let him through. "He's probably asleep…Don't wake his father."

He nodded a little and went quietly upstairs, opening the bedroom door and closing it once he was inside. It was silent and dark, the only sound being Remus's quiet breathing. He crept over to the bed and looked down at his sleeping boyfriend, seeing the Prefect badge in his hand, and he moved to take it from him. He looked at it in his hand and nodded to himself, setting it on the nightstand before he brought the blanket back over his lover's bare shoulder.

Remus breathed in deeply and grunted before he opened his eyes and blinked at Sirius, his eyes finally sliding into focus. Sirius expected a smile, a pat of the mattress, anything but what happened. The lycanthrope's eyes widened before filling with tears, and he looked sharply away. "Go the fuck away," he whispered, and he brought the blankets up over his head.

Sirius felt his heart break, and he grabbed those blankets, throwing them off of Remus and closing his eyes when he saw that Remus had not even bothered to get dressed. "Don't…" he whimpered, and he crawled onto the bed, spooning Remus. "I'm sorry. Remus, I'm so sorry." His breath was warm on Remus's neck, and he felt his breath catch in his throat.

"You are pretty fucking sorry," Remus hissed, and he stared at the wall, trying to ignore the heat on his neck and the terribly warm body behind him. He fought the urge to lean back into him, and he sniffed a little.

"I know. I'm the sorriest motherfucker alive," Sirius moaned, and he tried to pull Remus closer, drawing him back so they were pressed together inch for inch. "I'm lucky if you ever look at me again. You should hate me forever and I'm so sorry because you mean everything to me, Remus." His hand shakily moved to find Remus's, and he kissed the back of his neck when Remus took that hand and held it. "Forgive me, please…Even if I don't deserve it?"

Remus closed his eyes and shivered in the cool air, trying to stop crying because he felt stupid. Sirius's lips felt like redemption against his skin, and he unintentionally pressed back against him. Sirius's arms wound tighter around him, and he felt his mouth open as gentle teeth scraped against his shoulder. "Why should I forgive you?" he asked, swallowing hard as Sirius's fingers laced with his and their legs twined. "Why the fuck should I forgive you after what you said to me?"

"You shouldn't," Sirius said quietly, and he rolled Remus onto his back so he could look at him. Their eyes met there in the darkness, and Sirius brought his hand up to touch the tears that just would not stop on his lover's cheeks. "God, Remus, I'm such a fuck-up." He leaned in and kissed his cheek, tasting the salt and feeling guilty. "I want you to be a Prefect. I want you to do it, if for no other reason than that you want to. Besides…they have a really fantastic bathroom." He smiled as Remus managed a laugh, and he began kissing his lower lip.

"They do have a nice bathroom," Remus whispered, and he slipped a hand into Sirius's hair. "I thought you were breaking up with me…"

"Couldn't ever break up with you," Sirius whispered, and he trailed his lips over Remus's cheeks, forehead, and lips. He grabbed the blankets with his toes and brought them high enough so he could take them with his hand and drag them back over. "Not ever. Not even when we're eighty and decrepit and our bits don't work anymore."

Remus seized the hem of Sirius's shirt and pulled it off of him, closing his eyes as Sirius moved on top of him. "Promise?" Remus asked quietly, and he shuddered as Sirius removed the rest of his clothes. Remus knew he was easy, knew that Sirius could get him to do anything he wanted him to do, but it just did not seem to matter. When Sirius lay against him, naked and so warm, Remus wrapped his arms around his neck.

"I promise. Promise, promise, promise…God, Remus, let me fuck you, please…" he begged, and he reached down to lift his lover's hips, pressing the head of his cock to his arse. "Please…"

Remus's eyes glazed over, and he spread his legs a little. He wanted it, he realized. He wanted it more than anything, but as Sirius tried to push into him, he winced and shook his head. "No, nonono…We need lube or something…It hurts when you do that…" He blushed when he realized that he was shaking, and he smiled as Sirius kissed his neck. "Sorry…"

Sirius shook his head. "No, don't apologize. I bought some for us today in Hogsmeade, 'cause we were running out. Thought James was going to die of embarrassment…" He reached down to his discarded pants and removed a bottle from the pocket, placing it under Remus's pillow before he began to kiss him fiercely on the lips.

Remus's eyes fell closed and he arched his hips up, wanting to feel Sirius all over him. He had been sexually frustrated all day, and now that Sirius was kissing him like this, he was sure he would blow his load the moment he was touched. Sirius poured lube liberally in his hand and slid it down between their legs, sliding a finger into Remus, who gasped and tightened his hold on him. "S-Sirius, I think…I don't think I'm ready yet." He did not want to admit he was scared of it and that he was scared it would hurt. From what he had felt minutes before, it _had_ hurt.

Sirius grinned and nodded, sliding his finger out of Remus, who then shook his head. "I didn't say you couldn't…you know. Do that," the lycan claimed, and he grinned as Sirius moaned and kissed his ear.

"I can think of…something else I'd like to do to you," Sirius breathed, and he kissed down to Remus's chest, his tongue flicking against his nipples. Remus huffed and lay flat back against the mattress, hands clutching at the sheets in anticipation.

* * *

**The remainder of this chapter has been archived at LJ (sakaim. livejournal. com) due to its very graphic nature. Remove the spaces in the link and have a look (I promise, it's worth it!).**


	23. Unfortunate Discovery

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Unfortunate Discovery**

**Part 23 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

They were to leave for Hogwarts in three days. Remus was nervous about being a Prefect, Sirius was thrilled to be going back, James was glowing about seeing Lily, and Peter was nonchalant. Peter and James had taken the news about Remus being the new Prefect with horror, but it was not nearly as severe as it had been with Sirius.

Sirius found that he could no longer stay away from Remus. Last night had been the full moon, and he had gone down to the basement and waited outside the sealed tunnel. When it unsealed in the morning and swung open, he hurried inside and gathered Remus into his arms. "Hey there, beautiful," he said softly as he sat there on the floor with Remus in his lap, and when Remus turned into him and smiled, Sirius felt his heart warm even in the cool air.

"Mmmn, hi," Remus moaned quietly, and he clutched Sirius's shirt with his weak fingers. "I'm tired…I didn't fight anything, I think. I'm not hurting anywhere." He opened his eyes and looked down at his naked body, satisfied to see that he did not have any trace of blood or bruises.

"You look fine to me," Sirius said quietly, and he leaned down to kiss Remus carefully on the lips. "How about I take you upstairs and give you a nice, warm bath while your father's at work and then I'll lie in bed with you all day?" he asked, and by the pleased look on Remus's face, he knew that those were the right words to say. Standing up, he took Remus into the main part of the basement, letting him throw a blanket over himself before he carried him upstairs.

"Hello, dears," Flora said with a smile as Sirius carried Remus through the living room toward the bathroom. "Have a rough night, Remmie?"

"Not really, Mum," Remus claimed, his voice hoarse from howling. "I'm just really tired. I'll have a bath then go to bed for a while…Sirius's gonna take care of me…" He smiled at he and leaned his head in comfortably against his boyfriend's shoulder.

"I have no doubt," Flora said quietly, and she got up to open the bathroom door for them. "Sirius, don't take too long with the bath; John will be home soon, and Remus won't be up for much longer anyway…" She smiled as he nodded and lay Remus in the bathtub, waiting for her to close the door before he removed the blanket and started the hot water.

Remus rested his head against the back of the tub and moaned in exhaustion, his eyes sliding closed as Sirius smoothed lathered hands over his dirty skin. "You're so good to me," he claimed in a whispered voice, and he leaned up to kiss his lover's lips. "Thank you…"

Sirius smiled and kissed him back, his fingers moving to eradicate the dirt from beneath Remus's fingernails. They grinned at one another when the kiss broke, and Sirius began to rinse him off, kissing his cheek. "You're filthy. Did you roll in the mud?"

"I did," Remus claimed quietly, and he lifted his hands to wash his own face. He felt exhaustion setting in, and he dropped his hands with a small moan. "Sirius, I'm ready to go to bed…" He opened his eyes slowly to watch as Sirius quickly rinsed the rest of the suds off then drained the water around him. "Thank you…I wish I could be entertaining longer…"

"Ah, you're always entertaining, even when you sleep. You get cuddly, and you wank all the time," Sirius teased, laughing as Remus splashed him with the draining water. He lifted Remus out of the tub, soaking himself in the process, and he set him on the toilet before wrapping him in a towel. "You do, but it's all right, because I like to wank to you doing it…"

"You are more full of shit than anyone. Anyone, do you understand?" Remus asked, lifting his arms so Sirius could properly dry him off, despite the snort his lover gave him. "I have never once had a wet dream, much less wanked in my sleep. I'm always waking up screaming, but I assure you it's not from pleasure."

"Sure," Sirius snarked, and he lifted Remus up again, carrying him towel-clad to the bedroom and lying him down on their mattress. Remus was asleep by the time they even went through the door, and Sirius dressed him in comfortable sleeping trousers before he climbed into bed with him, arranging him comfortably and holding onto him from behind. "I love you," he whispered in his ear, and he closed his eyes, drifting off because he had not slept, either.

Remus woke up with a start and a yell, sitting straight up in bed and clutching at his throat, gasping for air. When Sirius shifted beside him, he jumped in shock, pressing a hand to his chest to calm his pounding heart before he slid his hand through his hair. "Fuck…"

Sirius rubbed his eyes and sat up, touching Remus's cheek softly before he leaned in to kiss it. "Hey, calm down…It didn't happen," he claimed, and he closed his eyes as Remus hid his face in his neck for a few moments. His arms wrapped around Remus, and he pulled him as close as he could.

Remus shook his head a little and gulped before he looked into Sirius's eyes. "I almost killed…Snape. He was running around in the woods where I was transformed and I got a hold of him, and I nearly tore his leg off…" He wiped sweat from his forehead and shakily crawled into Sirius's lap, wanting to be held.

Sirius smiled and leaned against the wall, checking the time and sighing to see that it was only ten in the morning. "Well, at least you killed someone good," he said quietly, and he laughed as Remus punched him in the shoulder. "It was just a dream, and it's still early…"

Remus looked up into his eyes and lifted his arms to wrap around Sirius's neck. "I don't want to go back to sleep," he whispered, and he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend, not caring that their breath was stale from sleep. He felt Sirius lean into the kisses, and he moaned very gently, wrapping himself up in the kiss and trying to forget the dream.

John heard Remus cry out upstairs and he sighed, lowering his newspaper. "I'll go check on him…He must be having nightmares again," he said quietly. Flora handed him a glass of water and gave his bum a little pat in his passing. He climbed the stairs and silently pushed open the bedroom door, which was already partially open.

He expected to find Remus panicking, Sirius comforting him, maybe even Remus sleeping again, but he certainly did not expect to see his son cradled in Sirius's lap, caught in a liplock that made him furious. He heard his son declare his love for Sirius in the midst of the kiss, and he cleared his throat harshly. "ExCUSE me?"

Remus and Sirius froze for a moment before they leapt apart, giving him a look of utter horror. John stalked over to them, noticing the red marks on his son's neck and stomach, which matched the ones on Sirius's. He had been stupid, blind to not see this before. "F-Father, I uh…" Remus began, but he seemed at an utter loss for words. "It's not what…it's not what you think!"

John snorted and shook his head. "Yes, I'm sure he was just giving you CPR, was that it?" he laughed bitterly, and he pointed at Sirius. "We invited you into our home, opened our arms to you, and what do you do? You make my son a BLOODY POUF!"

Flora heard those words and felt her heart stop before she rushed upstairs, finding her son and Sirius on opposite sides on the bed from one another. "Oh, dear," she sighed, and she took her husband's arm. "John, come out of here. You and I need to talk…" she whispered, and she frowned as John knocked her away.

"Are you saying you KNEW!" he snapped, and he rounded on her. "You kept secrets from me in my OWN HOME!"

"Because you react like this to ANYTHING that happens you don't like! DAMN it, John, he's your SON!" Flora yelled, gesturing at the boys on the bed. Her eyes widened as John came at her, sticking his finger in her face. "Get that OUT OF my FACE, JOHN LUPIN!"

He shook his head. "You…are in SO much trouble!" he snarled, and he hurried from the room, shaking.

Flora closed her eyes and sighed before she looked over to the two boys. "I'll go speak to John. You two…lie low for a while. Go back to sleep…" She saw Remus begin to panic, and she sighed a little. "Remus, don't. I can handle this," she said, and she left the room, shutting the door entirely.

"Fuck," Remus whispered, and he lay back down to stare at the wall. "Fuck, Sirius, oh fuck, fuck, FUCK…" He felt his hands shaking, and he turned into Sirius when he lay down with him. "He's gonna kill me…"

Sirius drew him close and kissed his lips. "No, he won't. I'll save you," he promised, and when he felt Remus choke up in his arms, he held him to his chest and kissed his hair. He was scared for Remus, but he would not let him suffer alone. Remus cried against him until he slept, and Sirius drifted off again as well, too nervous to dream.


	24. The End of an Era

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The End of an Era**

**Part 24 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Remus would not come out of his room after he woke up that evening, instead sitting on the edge of his bed and studying a little extra Potionswork. Sirius sat with him, explaining a few theories and rubbing the small of his back in the small patch of sunlight coming from the window. When Remus had lapsed into silence and leaned against him, Sirius sighed and took the book from him, discarding it. He slid his arms around Remus's stomach and kissed his cheek, whispering, "Remus, gimme a smile, love…"

Remus brought a hand to his lips and looked down at the floor, shaking his head a little. He could hear John and Flora yelling downstairs; it had been several hours and they were still arguing. He could not make out what they were saying, but he knew for sure that he did not hear his name in the argument. He suspected that something else was going on. "Sirius, I don't want to leave here until we go back to school," he whispered, and he moved to bury his face in Sirius's shoulder. "I'm afraid I won't be of any use until then…"

Sirius frowned and pulled Remus into his lap, holding him there and kissing the nape of his neck. "You don't have to be of any use, Remus," he claimed, and he smiled as Remus brought his hands up to touch the back of his neck. "You just need to relax and try to start feeling better. The full moon always throws you off. You'll feel better in the morning."

Remus gave a weak nod and slid off of Sirius's lap, lying down on the mattress and opening his arms to his boyfriend. "I suppose so. Come lie with me?" He sounded miserable, and when Sirius crawled into his embrace, he wrapped around him and gazed into his eyes. "Thanks. You're too good to me," he breathed, and he closed his eyes.

Sirius rested his head on Remus's chest and closed his eyes as well, his hand sliding under his shirt and rubbing his stomach. The yelling downstairs stopped, and someone was hurrying upstairs, not even bothering with knocking before the door was flung open. Sirius expected Remus to jump up and push him away, but instead he was pulled a little closer. "What?" Remus asked in a low, raspy voice.

It was Flora, who closed the door behind her and went to the bed. Sitting on the edge, she reached over and touched her son's arm before she heaved a heavy sigh. "Remus, your father and I…Well, your father has not been…" Sirius opened his eyes and looked at her, shocked to see tears running down her cheeks. "He's not been working late, Remus. He's…been with another woman. I can't take that, Remus, I can't!"

Remus's eyes widened and he sat up, forcing Sirius to sit up with him. "Mum, what?" he asked in a hushed voice, and he slipped his hand into Sirius's. "He couldn't've. He's always spoken out against that sort of thing…" He was frightened by the sight of his mother breaking down in front of him, and he tucked his head in against Sirius's shoulder, peering at her with wide eyes.

"Hypocrisy is a sneaky bitch," she whispered, and she moved to hug the two boys to her bosom. "He will be leaving soon. This is my house, not his. You are welcome to stay or go with your father, whichever you are more comfortable with. My feelings won't be hurt if you decide to go with John." She let them go and looked away, not wanting to cry in front of them as she was.

Remus closed his eyes and shook his head, fighting the urge to cry over his parents. "I'll stay with you, Mum," he said, voice muffled by Sirius's shirt. "He can't look at me anyway…" His fingers clutched Sirius's upper arms, and he was never so happy to have someone to hold onto. When Sirius tightened his arms around him, he choked a little and shivered.

Flora saw that her son needed to be alone with Sirius, and so she leaned in to kiss his hair. "I will tell him. You two just stay up here, okay? I don't want you coming downstairs until he's gone." Her voice broke, and she hurried from the room, closing the door behind her.

The moment the door closed, Remus heaved a sob in Sirius's arms and clawed at him, hurting in a way he never had. "Out…out the window. I gotta g-get outta here, Sirius. Just for a few hours, please…Let's go out into the field where th-they can't find us…" He looked up into Sirius's eyes with tears streaming down his face, and Sirius could not help but nod.

They stood up and went to the window, crawling out by way of the fire escape. Remus went first, and when he got to the bottom, he seized Sirius's hand and took off running with him into the same fields Sirius had hid in earlier in the summer. He felt his side cramping; he was much too tired from the full moon to be doing this sort of thing, and when he fell onto his knees in the high grass, he buried his face in his palms and sighed.

Sirius stopped running and whirled around to sit in the grass in front of Remus and draw him close. "Remus," he breathed out heavily against his hair, his eyes reflecting the sunset as his lover met his gaze and punched him in the chest. Sirius closed his eyes and let Remus hit him again and again, not fighting back at all as Remus punched him harder each time.

"WHY!" Remus yelled at him, and he grabbed Sirius suddenly by the shoulders, shaking him with fury. "Why the FUCK does this have to happen NOW! WHY does he have to BE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT? Sirius, I HATE HIM!" His grip slackened and he fell into Sirius, labored breath beginning to slow and even out.

Minutes of silence passed, and Sirius gave him a warm squeeze. "Feel better?" he whispered, and when Remus nodded a little, he smiled and kissed his forehead. "Good…Love you."

Remus sniffed and pulled back to look at him with a sheepish little smile. "Love you, too. Erm…Sorry for hitting you like that. I…I wasn't thinking at all. I'm just so tired of everything going wrong all of a sudden," he ranted, and he wrapped his arms tightly around Sirius's neck. "I don't ever want to hit you or cheat on you or anything like…anything like that."

Sirius shook his head and moved to kiss Remus deeply on the lips. Their mouths opened and tongues moved to touch, sliding around one another in slow, burning strokes, and when the kiss broke, Sirius cupped Remus's cheek in his palm. "If it makes you feel better, you can hit me all you want, though I'm sure there are a hundred things we could do that would make you feel better than hitting me," he claimed, and he gave his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. "Now, I'm allergic to this grass, so why don't we go sit by the pond? Different grass there…"

Remus nodded and shakily stood up, taking Sirius's hands and twining their fingers when they began to walk. He did not speak, instead watching his feet cut through the high grass, and when they arrived at the pond, he sat by the edge and watched the ducks settling on the water. Sirius sat behind him, and he leaned back against his chest between his legs with a long sigh. "Let's sleep out here…"

"'Kay," Sirius breathed, and his lips brushed against Remus's neck and shoulders. He felt Remus relax against him, and within a few moments, the werewolf was snoring lightly in his arms. Sirius shook him awake and pulled him back to the tree by the pond, leaning back against the trunk and helping Remus lie down with his head in Sirius's lap. The brunette ran his fingers through Remus's hair until they both slept again.


	25. Retreat

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Retreat**

**Part 25 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Remus was wakened the next morning by intense heat, and he sat up from his place in the grass to rub his eyes. When his vision cleared, he looked around, not finding Sirius anywhere, and he hugged his knees to his chest. He wondered briefly if Sirius had left him, too. This fear was quickly dispelled as he heard Sirius call out from behind him, and he turned to see his boyfriend carrying two large baskets and wearing a smile. "Morning, sleepyhead," Sirius said as he sat down beside Remus, placing the two baskets in the grass beside them.

"Morning," Remus said quietly. "Where'd you go? And what are these?" He tugged one of the baskets close and opened it to see fresh towels and soap. "You went back home? Is…is John still there?" He closed the lid on the basket and looked down, reminded of the previous day's events.

"I went home to get fresh clothes and food…I didn't think you'd want to go back home for a while," Sirius claimed, and he smiled as Remus leaned over to kiss him. "Your Mum made some sandwiches for us and everything. She said to stay out here as long as we wanted, since John's still moving his stuff." His arms wound around Remus's middle, and he wiped sweat from his brow. "Why don't we go for a nice dip in the pond? I'll wash you…"

Remus nodded and pulled back from Sirius, pulling his shirt off and shoving his hair behind his ears. The wind was hot and dry, and the pond was so inviting. He felt Sirius's hands on him, stripping him of the rest of his clothes, and soon he was naked in the grass with his clothes littering the glass around him. His eyes were glued to Sirius as Sirius undressed as well, and when they were both naked, he moved to lean against him. "It's nice out here," he whispered, and he slipped his arms around Sirius's neck. "Just us…In two days we'll be at school again and we won't be alone again for a long time."

Sirius nodded and stood up with Remus, walking with him down to the pond. "I know. I'm ready for school and everything, but I'm going to miss being alone with you all the time…" He released Remus and took a few step backs from the pond. He suddenly took off running and jumped out into the pond, coming up soaked and grinning. "Come on, Moony," he requested, and he smiled as his lover crept into the water and slid up against him.

Remus's skin drank the water, and he moaned at the pleasure of heat relief. When he pressed against Sirius's cool, dripping form, he tucked his head in against his shoulder and smiled to himself. This was his paradise. Slowly, he lifted his head and accepted the sweet kisses Sirius had to offer, and he shivered as they slid back into deeper water. He lifted his legs to wind around Sirius's hips, hanging weightlessly on him in the water, and he kissed his neck. The water in the pond was clear and pristine, free of fish and other creatures, so the water was clean enough to drink.

Sirius moaned as Remus attached to him like that, and he ran his fingernails down his back, kissing his shoulder and moving to connect their lips. Remus slipped his hands into Sirius's hair, and he slid their tongues together in a sleepy, desperate kiss. When it broke, Sirius gave him a breathless grin. "Feisty this morning?" he inquired, and he laughed as Remus blushed. "That's fine, actually. I'm feeling pretty feisty myself…"

These words seemed to make Remus's blood boil, and he kissed Sirius with such fury than Sirius nearly fell backward in the water. Sirius's hands slid down to his lover's arse, fingers stroking the most secret parts of him, and he shivered as Remus's thighs squeezed him. "Sirius," he whispered, his eyes heavy-lidded and full of love. "Sirius, I want you."

"You have me." This was whispered against Remus's ear, and he swallowed hard as Remus shook his head and breathed how much he wanted Sirius to fuck him before the summer was over, how he wanted to have a day of just them relaxing and fucking each other's brains out all day. "O-oh," Sirius said quietly, and he felt his cock twitch at the thought. "Are you…sure?"

Remus pulled back and looked him in the eyes, and at that moment, Sirius knew that Remus wanted it more than anything in the world. Sirius shuddered and took Remus up onto the shore, digging through the picnic baskets and pulling out a blanket, which he spread out on the grass, and their bottle of lubrication (he had figured they might mess around at least a little on this hot day). Seizing Remus, he pulled him down naked to the blanket and lay him on his back, crawling over him and beginning to fuck his mouth with his tongue. He felt his lover's arms wrap up around his neck, and he settled down on top of him, moaning into the kiss.

Remus was nervous, but he wanted this more than anything. He did not have to hide his sexuality anymore, and he wanted to be with Sirius in every way he could. "Mmmn, Sirius, I love you…" he hissed as Sirius moved to devour his neck. He arched up into him and shuddered as Sirius slipped his hands down Remus's sides.

"Love you, too," Sirius breathed, and he began to slide downward, his lips pausing at Remus's nipples and navel. He felt the other's cock press against his chin, and he pulled back a little to wrap his lips around it and begin a gentle suckling. The resounding whimper from Remus's lips suggested that he was doing it just right, and he tasted pre-ejaculate on his tongue.

Remus spread his legs shamelessly and stared up at the blue sky as Sirius's tongue slipped around in the most tantalizing way.

* * *

**This scene has been edited for content. Please visit (sakaim. livejournal. com), delete the spaces in the URL, for the scene. Don't miss it; it's important!**

* * *

Sirius moaned as the kiss slowly became to an end, and he opened his eyes to look down at Remus. "God," he whispered, not even half an inch separating their lips. "Remus, you're the most amazing…most…most wonderful…Mmmn…" He shakily moved to slide out of Remus, sighing deeply as their bodies separated, and he kissed his cheek. "Did I hurt you?"

Remus held Sirius to his chest and shivered, stroking his hair. "Nuh-uh. Not bad…" he claimed, and he kissed his ear. "Thank you…Sirius, don't ever leave me. Ever." When Sirius nodded his assent, Remus sat up gingerly and rubbed at his eyes a little. "Now, give me a proper bath?"

"Sure!" Sirius grinned and stood up, giggling as his legs nearly gave way beneath him. He took Remus's hands and hauled him upright, pulling him to his chest as he began to topple, too. "Careful…I 'spect you'll be tender." He giggled again as Remus winced and nodded, and so he whisked him off of his feet and carried him into the pond. Water went everywhere upon their entrance, and he playfully threw Remus out of his arms and into the deeper water.

Remus cackled before he hit the water, and he swam under the water for a moment before he seized Sirius's leg and came up laughing. "Don't throw me, you prat," he laughed, and he smiled as Sirius went back up on the bank to get soap for them. When he returned, Remus grabbed him and pulled him close, looking into his eyes before he blushed and embraced him. "We just had sex, Sirius…"

Sirius got a goofy look and kissed Remus, lathering up the soap in his hand before he slid it down between Remus's legs to wash him off properly. "We did…And it was really great," he claimed, and his lips brushed across his lover's hair. "It was…really, really great…" He giggled stupidly and spun around with Remus in his arms. Remus grinned and buried his face against Sirius's shoulder, feeling incredibly tired, and he closed his eyes as Sirius cleaned him diligently.

Sirius felt Remus fall asleep on his shoulder, and he rinsed him off before lying him carefully on the blanket and covering him with a towel. He washed himself quickly before he dried off and curled up with the other, letting sleep overcome him as well.


	26. The Morning of September 1st

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Morning of September 1st **

**Part 26 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

It was the morning they were to leave for Hogwarts, and Sirius was sitting on the bed waiting for Remus to finish checking the room over. They were supposed to Floo to the Potters' in thirty minutes, and Sirius was very sad to see Remus acting like he was. He was not speaking very much, was not the right colour, and when he finally stopped bustling around, Sirius pulled him down onto his lap. "Hey, hey…Why don't you rest for a few minutes before we go?" he asked, and he blinked as Remus buried his face in his neck.

"Okay," he mumbled, and he slipped one of his hands into Sirius's. "I want to talk to you about something…" He lifted his head and cleared his throat before he swallowed and looked into Sirius's eyes. "Um…James and Peter don't know about my parents. Can we not tell them? Not for a while at least? I just want it to be between us." His voice was very small and shaky.

Sirius nodded and held him as close as he could, one hand coming up to slide through his hair. "It's our secret," he said quietly, and he moved his head to kiss Remus's cheek. "James and Peter won't know until you're ready, and you can just relax. You'll have enough stress being a Prefect." Remus groaned in his arms, and he laughed before turning his face to him so they could properly kiss.

Remus leaned into the kiss and closed his eyes, leaving them closed when the kiss ended. "I don't want to think about it…I'm so tired…" He had been up nearly all night the night before staring at the ceiling and listening to Sirius snoring. He had felt sick, had even gone to throw up a few times, but when Sirius woke up, he told him that he was fine. Sirius obviously did not believe him, but he tried to convince him as best he could.

Sirius moved to lie Remus down on the bed, glad to see that he wasn't protesting. "You're sick, Remus," he said quietly, and he stroked his cheek. "We've got half an hour before we leave, so rest until then, okay? I know you were throwing up last night." At the look of embarrassed horror on Remus's face, he lay down beside him and kissed his cheek. "Come here, sweetheart."

Remus stared at him, making a bit of a face at the petname, but he moved into him just the same. "Sirius, don't call me that. It's gross," he snapped irritably, but he gave a little smile as he was embraced and held close. "My stomach hurts." It was the softest complaint, and he felt like crying he was so stressed out. Sirius's hand rubbing his back under his shirt was certainly helping, though, and he shuddered as Sirius scratched his nails down his spine. "I'm gonna tell the Heads that I can't perform my duties on the train…Flooing's going to make me sick as hell…"

Sirius nodded encouragingly. "That's a good idea," he claimed, and he rolled Remus onto his back. Moving to sit on his thighs, he began to rub his back under his shirt to calm him. He got quite lost in it, and when Flora came in telling them it was time to go, he gave a start and wondered where the time had gone. Getting off of Remus, he smiled when he saw that he was very much asleep.

Flora held her hand to her mouth and went to Remus, touching his hair. "I hate to wake him," she sighed, and she checked her watch. "Sweetie, wake up," she entreated as she knelt down beside the bed and stroked her son's hair. When his eyes opened, looking dull and bloodshot, she sighed and kissed his cheek. "Good boy. Get up; it's time to go to the Potters'. Sirius will help you carry your things down so Mister Potter can Apparate and take them with him…"

Remus hauled himself off of the mattress and grabbed his trunk, dragging it downstairs in front of the fireplace. He moved to sit on the couch, waiting for Mister Potter to Apparate over, and he felt bile in his throat at the thought of Flooing. When Sirius came downstairs, he gave him a sick look and lay his head back against the back of the chair.

A pop announced Mister Black, who gave the boys a smile. "Morning, lads," he said, and he frowned at Remus. "You look sick. I'll get you a Potion when we get to the house. Here's your Floo powder, and I'll take your things." He placed a small bag in Sirius's hand and disappeared with their trunks.

"I guess this is it," Flora said, tears in her eyes, and she moved to hug her son. "You take care, okay? Get better soon. And Sirius?" She moved to her son's boyfriend and hugged him very tightly. "Take care of him. You're always welcome in my home…" When she pulled away, he saw tears in her eyes, and he patted her shoulder before he helped Remus up from the chair.

"I'll write you, Mum," Remus said quietly, and he hugged her again before he took the Floo powder from Sirius and threw some into the fireplace. When the flaes roared green, he stepped inside and said, "Godric's Hollow!" in a very sick voice, disappearing immediately. Sirius followed, and when he landed in James's fireplace, he stumbled out to catch Remus before he fell to the ground.

"Whoa, whoa…" he soothed, and he looked around frantically, finding a flowerpot nearby and snatching it, pushing it under Remus's mouth just before he heaved and threw up a lot of water. "Good lord, Remus," he sighed, and he rubbed between his shoulders as his boyfriend threw up once more time with a strangled sound.

This attracted James, who came skittering into the room, and he stared down at them for a moment before he grinned. "Wicked. MUM, GET REMUS A PEPPER-UP POTION!" he yelled back through the house, and he came into the room to throw his arms around Sirius's neck. "Oh MERLIN I'm excited!" he said enthusiastically, and he clapped his hands together.

James's mother came in and sighed at the sight of Remus watering her flowers, and she brought him the potion. "Bottoms up, dear," she sighed, watching with satisfaction as Remus downed the potion. "That's a lad…We're leaving in about five minutes, so buck up!" They were going to ride the Knight Bus to King's Cross.

Not a moment later, Remus's ears started gushing steam, and he sighed, leaning back into Sirius. "Thanks, Mrs. Potter," he said quietly, and he closed his eyes as Sirius helped him stand up. "Sorry for puking in your flowerpot…It's quite rude of me." He grinned at her, feeling better already as she laughed and cleaned the flowers with a wave of her wand.

"Not a problem, Remus. Congratulations on becoming a Prefect, by the way." She smiled as he blushed and wiped something off of his badge, and she led the three boys from the room and outside. It was quite a nice morning, but clouds looming overhead suggested that it would be raining later.

Remus held Sirius's hand for support, steam still pouring from his head, and he made a face as Sirius tried to plug up his ear with a finger. "Stop it, damn you," he said with a bit of a snarl, and he smiled as Sirius hugged him tightly. James made a face at the two and sniffed before he threw his arms around the both of them and made gushy, lovey sounds, which forced Remus and Sirius to pull apart and make faces at him.

"Don't be gross," James snorted, and he grinned as his parents joined them. He threw out his wand-hand and smiled as the Knight Bus, which was free for students today, and when it appeared, they all climbed on together.

A short bus-ride later, they were standing in King's Cross on the platform. The steam had ceased pouring from Remus's ears, and he had separated from Sirius to go find Lily. Sirius watched him run off before he grinned and went exploring with James. By the time eleven rolled around, they were all, sans Remus who had decided that he was well enough to make his rounds, in the compartment enjoying the candy the Potters had sent along.

When Remus got to come back, he sat down in the compartment beside the window, leaning against it. "Wake me up in an hour or two…I'm going to rest." The words had hardly left his mouth before he was passed out against the window. Sirius grabbed his wand and pulled his show off, transfiguring it into a thick, warm blanket to tuck in around his lover. "Thanks," Remus mumbled in his half-sleep, and he was soon snoring again.

Sirius did not wake him, instead letting him sleep until the train began to slow. "Get up, you lazy sod," he said, smiling as Remus came to with a start and stared, bewildered, at them for a few moments before he flushed.

"Damn it! You let me oversleep!" He got up and quickly changed into his robes, sitting _hard _on Sirius's lap afterward. He gave him a nasty look before he smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "I feel better…Thanks," he whispered, and he took a chocolate frog from James.

The Sorting and the feast went by as smoothly as always without incident, and by the time they were going upstairs to their dormitories, Remus was tired from all the food and need for restful sleep. He didn't even bother going to his four-poster, instead throwing himself into Sirius's bed. Sirius laughed and closed the drapes for him while he caught up on most things with James.

When he did go to bed, he crawled in and closed the curtains, pulling Remus against him. Moony's eyes opened and he leaned up to kiss him softly before he rested his head on the pillow again. "Night," Sirius whispered, and he touched Remus's hair before Remus drifted off again. Sirius wondered if Remus had even been awake at all.

Smiling, he let himself fall asleep, happy to be back at Hogwarts.


	27. The First Success

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The First Success**

**Part 27 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

School had been in session for a few weeks, and Remus was dreading the coming of the full moon. The very thought of having to go back in the Shrieking Shack and rip himself apart made him sick. It was the morning before, and he had just woken up from the nightmares that usually plagued him this close to the moon.

His watch read five in the morning—just fantastic. He would never be able to get back to sleep. Propping himself up on one elbow, he looked over to see if Sirius was awake, but he was not, and he frowned. "Sirius," he whispered, frowning when Sirius did not even stir. "Sirius!" He made a face when Sirius gave a very unattractive snore, and he reached over him to snatch his wand from the bedside. A quick flick of the wand cast a silencing charm on the bed so no one else would hear, and he slipped beneath the blankets to lift Sirius's shirt with his hand.

Sirius shifted a little in his sleep as Remus moved down to slowly kiss his stomach, tongue dipping into his bellybutton as he trailed a hand down between his legs. He heard Sirius make a little sound in his sleep, and he moved that hand inside his pyjamas, fingers ghosting against that warm, hardening cock between his legs as he moved up to kiss his neck. "Mmmmmn, Sirius wake up," he breathed, his hand tightening around him and moving to give him a languid stroke.

Sirius's arms came up to wrap around Remus, his eyes still closed, and he kissed his ear a little as he was touched. That hand felt so good in his half-asleep phase, and when he felt a thumb swipe across the tip of his cock, his arched his back a little. "F-fuck, James…That's…Mmmn…"

Remus paused. James? JAMES? "_James_!" he growled, throwing himself off of Sirius to glare at him. "What the fuck, JAMES!" He suddenly was not so horny anymore, and his snarl was as realistic as the wolf's when Sirius sat up and stared wide-eyed at him.

"Oh my god. Remus. Remus!" He looked around in panic before he reached out and seized Remus's shoulders. "I was asleep! Remus, you KNOW I don't have any feelings for—"

"Well NOW I don't fucking know!" Remus growled, and he pushed Sirius's hands off of him. "Don't touch me. I'm FURIOUS with you!" He shoved him backward and got quickly out of bed, wearing only his boxers, and he cancelled the silencing charm on his bed before he went to the bathroom to take a shower.

When he was nude and standing under the hot water, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. His hormones were racing thanks to the full moon, and he knew that had it been any other time of the month, he probably would not have been so offended by Sirius saying James's name. He had been asleep after all. It was only logical…But he was furious. If James gave him one odd look today he would punch him in the nose.

Sirius sat, stunned, in bed for a long while, shaking his head. He knew that the full moon was later that night, but Moony had never been so irritable. With a heavy sigh, he climbed out of bed and trailed his lover into the shower. "Remus," he whispered, and he frowned as Remus did not even acknowledge him. "Remus, I'm sorry." He stepped, clothed, into the shower and seized Remus from behind, resting his head on his shoulder.

This would have, at any other time, made Remus melt, but instead he stood there like a statue, unmoved by the kisses on his neck and shoulder. "Don't TOUCH me, I told you!" he said in a horrible, uncharacteristic voice that made Sirius release him immediately. "Why don't you go snuggle up to James?" He felt like crying.

Sirius stared at him. "Don't be daft," he said quietly, and he wanted to whimper when Remus turned around and gave him such a scowl that the hair on the back of his neck lifted. "Fine. STAY angry!" he ended up snapping, and he stomped, dripping wet, from the bathroom.

Remus would not speak to him all day. Not at breakfast, not when they were paired together in Potions, not when they were at lunch, not even in Care of Magical Creatures, when Remus paired himself up with Peter. James stood beside Sirius and gave him a funny look. "You guys fighting?" he asked, and he frowned as Sirius looked, depressed, at the ground. "I'll take that as a yes. How'd you fuck up?"

"I don't want to talk about it, James, but I'm going to change tonight. I WILL get the spell right tonight and I'm going with him to the Shrieking Shack...whatever animal I might be." He looked up to see Remus smiling and joking with Peter, and he wanted more than anything to kiss him. When Remus looked up, he shot him a hopeful smile, but his boyfriend just looked at the work they were doing again.

James watched Sirius and shook his head a little. "You're pathetic. Well…If you're going to do it, be careful. I think we've got the spells, but…I'm too afraid to try them. It looks painful." He reached out and punched Sirius in the shoulder. "But if you get it, fuck! That's it! We'll have done it!"

Sirius grinned and nodded, and he put a hand on his stomach. Going up to the professor, he said that he needed to go lie down, and when he was dismissed from class, he saw Remus's eyes following him as he passed him on the way back to the castle. He was going to go work on his transformation.

Remus waited until Sirius had gone back into the castle before he hurried over to James. "Is he okay?" he asked, and he looked at the ground when James shrugged.

"Dunno. He's worried about you," James replied, and he shoved his hands in his pockets, watching as Peter went to see how Lily was doing with her project. "I think he thinks you're going to break up with him or something. It couldn't have been THAT bad, could it?"

Remus felt a sudden surge of loneliness wave through him, and he shook his head. "I'm not going to break up with him. He's just gotta make it up to me. And it had better be good!" He glared at James for a moment before he sighed. "I'm ready for tonight to be over so I can be over this."

James wanted to make them both feel better, but he knew he would have to let them work it out on their own.

Before Remus was ready, it was time to go down to the Shrieking Shack, and he looked all over for Sirius to talk to him before he went, but his boyfriend was gone. Shoulders sagging, he walked down to the Hospital Wing and smiled as Madam Pomfrey came out. "Hi," he said quietly, and she obviously saw the pain written on his features.

"Hi, Remus," she said quietly, and she clapped him on the shoulder. "It'll be all right, dear. Are you so nervous about the full moon?" She frowned when he shook his head, and she knew it must be about him and Sirius. Everyone in the staff knew about them, and some, such as herself, were glad of it. Remus needed a constant companion who would stick by him, and Sirius had even taken to talking him down to her last term, but he was not around. "Is Mister Black being a prat?"

"'Fraid so," Remus sighed, and he drew his cloak tightly about his shoulders as they stepped outside and headed towards the Whomping Willow. He really wished he could have told Sirius good night.

Sirius, however, was hiding in the bushes near the Whomping Willow, in just a little bit of pain. He had tried many times that afternoon, failing time and time again, but he knew what he had done wrong, and the last time he had tried, he made only a minor mistake that he knew not to make this time. He could do it. When he saw Remus and Madam Pomfrey headed for the tree, he made sure he was hidden, and the two of them quickly disappeared down beneath the tree. When they had been gone for at least a full minute, Sirius slipped beneath the trunk before the tree could start hitting again, and he hid in the deep shadows until Madam Pomfrey had gone back out. He heard the tree set in motion again, and he took a deep breath. It was time.

There were a few moments when nothing happened, then suddenly, he was shrinking, shrinking, and he was sprouting fur _everywhere_. He kept expecting pain, but there was none, and when he felt his body stop transforming, he was suddenly HAPPIER THAN HE HAD EVER BEEN.

The smells hit him. He smelled earth and worms and grubs and feet and tree roots and flies and maggots and EVERYTHING smelled so good. He yapped at nothing in particular, and he felt his tail wagging as he took off running down the tunnel. MAN, he could fly! The air was rushing, the smells were strong and beautiful, and the night was YOUNG!

Then another smell hit him, and he stopped suddenly. The door to the Shrieking Shack was just above him, and he smelled…something terrible. Something horrifying. Something familiar. He padded up to the door and pushed it open with his snout.

And there was Remus. It was the most terrifying thing he had ever lay eyes upon, his lover with fierce, horrible eyes and fangs as long as fingers, furry and wolfish like nothing he could ever have expected. He slipped into the Shack quickly and made sure the door was closed behind him, and he lowered his ears demurely.

Remus heard the door open and close, and the human part of him was terrified. Oh god, it was someone, it was someone he could kill and…No. The blood lust did not rise in him because it was not a human scent. He looked at the great black dog before him, and he growled, but the scent was familiar to him. It SCREAMED to him, and the wolf gave a horrible snarl even though he, through the wolf's eyes, stared in amazement at the dog before him.

Sirius.

Before he could try to reign in any control on the wolf, it was leaping at the black dog, and he felt himself snarling and howling as Sirius rose up to meet him in a fury of paws and teeth. The wolf tried to bite him, tried to kill him, but he was fast, too, and he was larger than the werewolf, so he knocked his lover backward and barked at him, biting him hard on the shoulder when he came at him again.

The wolf yelped and Remus took his chance. He took as much control as he could, and, limping over to the great dog that was Sirius, he looked him in the eyes. Sirius stared right back, his eyes such a beautiful shade of grey to Remus, and he hesitated before he gave his tail a gentle wag. Remus was in those eyes. Slowly, he stepped forward and touched his muzzle to that injured shoulder, his tongue coming out to lap at it, and he felt Remus begin to lick him, too. The dog happiness flooded back suddenly, and he sank to the floor in bliss unlike any he had ever known as they licked and coddled one another in apology and in absolute love.

The night flew by faster than any other night Remus had ever spent as a wolf, and when he transformed back at the end of the full moon around five am, he crawled up onto the bed and smiled as Sirius leapt up with him, turning human again himself and pulling him into his arms. "You…How did you?" Remus asked quietly, so tired but not ready to try to sleep. He and Sirius needed to talk.

"Been working on it pretty much since we found out about you," Sirius said, and he moved to kiss Remus's shoulder. It was not bleeding, but it was bruised pretty badly. He had bitten him pretty hard. "James and Peter, too, but they haven't done it yet." He smiled as Remus burst into very tired tears, and he drew him to his chest to kiss him sweetly on the lips.

"I-I d-d-don't deserve y-you," Remus sobbed as Sirius kissed his cheeks and ears, and he clung tightly to him, hands shaking like mad. "I don't…I…Sirius, I'm so sorry!" He choked as Sirius pulled the blankets on the old bed over them and rubbed his stomach, and he reached up to swipe the tears from his face.

"Shhh," Sirius shushed him, kissing his neck and reaching up to help in drying those tears. "Don't worry about it. Just relax…When you get back to the castle, I'll come down and get you after breakfast like I always do so you can sleep in our bed. It's Saturday…We don't have classes and I don't have Quidditch practice until later tonight, so we can rest together all day if you want."

Remus nodded and pulled Sirius in for one more kiss. "You should go…Pomfrey will be along soon…" He could not seem to let Sirius go, though, and only when his lover turned into a dog and licked the salt from his cheeks was he able to let him trot back to the castle.

When James and Peter woke up, they woke up to the sound of a dog barking, and James threw himself out of bed with glee. "YOU DID IT!" he yelled, and he threw his arms around the neck of the huge dog. Sirius had never felt such a sense of completion.

By the time breakfast was over, Sirius was bursting to go get his lover, and when he got to the Hospital Wing, he did not even say hello to Madam Pomfrey. Instead, he ran immediately over to Remus's bed, and before Remus could even wake up, Sirius was kissing the hell out of him. The lycanthrope's arms lifted and wrapped around Sirius, and he opened his eyes when the kiss ended. "Feeling all right?" Sirius asked, looking into his eyes.

"Never better," Remus replied, and he hugged him tightly when his eyes slipped shut. "Forgive me? Will you?" He opened his eyes grinned as Sirius nodded. "Thank you, Sirius…"

Poppy came in and smiled at the sight of the two boys clinging to one another, and she patted Sirius's shoulder. "He's all right; he's just got a bruise on his shoulder. Be mindful of it," she said, and she helped Sirius get Remus out of bed. "Let him rest, but make sure he eats some lunch."

Sirius nodded and wrapped his arm around Remus's waist as they walked from the Hospital Wing. They came to the tower soon enough, and the moment Remus lay down on the bed, he kissed Sirius's cheek and closed his eyes, dead tired and content.


	28. The Question of Christmas

**Author's Notes:** We will start skipping ahead quicker now that the base for this fanfiction is set. Remus's time at Hogwarts is only supposed to last for one-third of the fic. This is a bit of a filler.

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Question of Christmas**

**Part 28 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

It was late November when Remus leaned lightly against Sirius's shoulder at the breakfast table, yawning from lack of sleep the night before. Sirius had kept him up all night with that mouth of his, those lips violating him in as many ways as they could. Sirius did not, however, look tired in the slightest, and he spared a kiss to Remus's hair. "Buck up, Moony," he said quietly, and he shot him a dirty grin. "Did you not sleep well last night?"

"Didn't fucking sleep at all, thanks," Remus said with a smirk, shaking his head. "Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but I have a test later and you knew it." He looked up as owls came flying down through the window and dropped a letter in front of him, and he opened it.

_Dear Remus,_

_It is probably best that you do not come home for the Christmas holiday, sweetheart. Your father is making a big mess over the divorce and keeps storming through, and you wouldn't want to go through that. Perhaps you can go home with Sirius or stay at school?_

_And Sirius (yes, Sirius, I know you're reading this over his shoulder), Remus wrote me about your accomplishment back in September and I never wrote you to tell you that you are a truly wonderful man. You have accomplished something many men are never able to do. Your secret is safe with me._

_Remus, be careful with the boys next full moon. Tell James and Peter I send my love as well—they are nearly as sweet as Sirius. Your father says hello._

_I love you,_

_Mama_

Remus dropped the letter to the table and sighed. "Sirius, will you…stay here with me over Christmas?" he asked, and he closed his eyes and Sirius kissed his cheek. "Thanks. I don't want to go anywhere, really, and I don't think your parents would…you know. I AM a werewolf, after all."

Sirius shook his head and leaned in to bite Remus's ear. "Peter's going home with James, so if we stay here we have the dormitory all to ourselves…" He grinned and held his hand up to whisper, "And I can fuck you on every single one of the beds, in the common room, outside, in the Shrieking Shack, everywhere…"

Remus's eyes widened and he grinned. "Sounds perfect," he whispered, and he suddenly moved to take Sirius's hand. "Come on. We have History of Magic first…" There was something mysterious in his eyes that made Sirius horny as hell, and he looked forward to the lesson for the first time. They were nearly late, so they took a table near the back, and Remus sat closer to Sirius than normal, his left hand resting on his thigh. Pulling out a piece of parchment so it appeared he was taking notes, he dipped his quill in ink and wrote in a tidy scrawl, 'Think you can bite your tongue?'

Sirius's eyes widened and he nodded before Remus's hand slid to the front of his trousers. Sirius swallowed hard and tried to look normal, shooting up an eyebrow when James looked back at them even as Remus slid his hand into his trousers and began rubbing him. James gave them a suspicious look even though Remus looked to be writing notes, which was more of an absent doodle of himself bending Sirius over one of the desks.

Sirius watched him draw that, and he flushed before he snatched the parchment and quill from him and drew another picture, albeit very shaky and unstable. It was of himself sucking Remus's cock in the common room, and he closed his eyes as Remus eased his cock from his trousers and began pumping him beneath the table. Sirius's hand tightened so much around the quill that it snapped, and he blushed a little.

James stared at them, wondering what the hell they were doing, then he saw the very subtle movements of Remus's left shoulder, and when Sirius snapped that quill and let his eyes roll back in his head, James thought he was going to die. "Gross," he hissed to himself, and he looked away for a moment before he looked back. He was morbidly fascinated.

Sirius apparently was not one to last long, he observed with a smirk, because it had been no more than five minutes when Sirius looked frantically at Remus and clapped his hands over his own mouth, making a strangled sound into them. Remus looked satisfied.

When class ended, Sirius was grinning stupidly and clinging to Remus, and James could not help but feel a pang of jealousy. He remembered when he and Sirius were nearly that close. Minus the sex, they had been like that. Now it was all about Remus. Remus this, Moony that. He was fucking jealous.

It was not fair. He had never done anything to deserve Sirius leaving him completely. Sure, they still talked and hung out, but never like they used to. Now that they had all successfully become Animagi, need for long hours together was gone. James was fuming.

Then Sirius paused on the way out of the classroom and turned to look at James, a grin on his face. "Oy! We've got the whole next period off. Wanna torture Snivelly?" he asked, kissing Remus on the cheek as Remus ran off to his next class.

James stared at Sirius, unbelieving, before he grinned. "Fuck yeah! Let's go find him!" he exclaimed, and in that moment, everything was perfect again.


	29. All To Themselves

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**All to Themselves**

**Part 29 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

The morning that James and Peter and most of Gryffindor went home for the holidays, Remus and Sirius played out in the snow. It was beautifully sunny and cheery for the lonely castle, and Sirius had chosen to pull Remus out by the frozen lake. "Let's build a snowman," giggled Sirius, and he through himself on his knees in the snow, making a snowball and beginning to roll it along to make it bigger.

Remus cocked an eyebrow at him and shook his head. "I'll start on the head," he claimed, and he bent down, making a snowball and beaning Sirius in the head with it. "Well, shit. Now I have to start all over," he laughed as Sirius turned and gave him a furious glare. The moment Sirius turned back around, Remus hit him with another and squealed quite like a woman as Sirius flipped around and tackled him to the snow, grabbing a snowball and pushing it into Remus's robes. "NOOO!"

Sirius cackled maniacally, rubbing the snow into Remus's skin and then leaning down to kiss him warmly in the cold. Remus suddenly forgot that it was below freezing outside, and he wrapped his arms up and around Sirius, his eyes sliding closed. The snow around him was very cold, but he could not feel it so much. He moved one hand out to seize a handful of snow, and just as Sirius was beginning to explore the depths of his mouth, he smashed the handful on the back of his lover's neck.

Sirius spasmed and pulled back to scream when his eyes flicked up and he saw Snivellus standing there, watching them. "Look who's peeping," he snorted, and he got off of Remus, pulling him to his feet and drawing him, snow-covered as he was, to his chest. "Getting off watching us snog, slimy, snotty Snivelly?" he asked, grinning at the disgusted look on Snape's face.

"Fuck off, Black," growled Snape, and his eyes narrowed as Sirius pulled his wand on him. "Oh? What're you gonna do with that? You hex me and I'll hex Lupin. You wouldn't want that, would you?" He pulled his wand and pointed it at Remus, who stared at him.

"Sod off before I put you in detention," Remus snarled, but then Sirius was pushing him up against a tree, looking into his eyes. "Wha—" Sirius, pushing his tongue into his mouth, cut him off quite abruptly, and his gaze widened before his eyes slipped closed. He knew what Sirius was doing.

Snape made a gagging sound and hurried away, leaving them there by the tree, but when Remus tried to break the kiss, Sirius only pressed closer. "S-Sirius," he mumbled against the kiss, and he pushed him away. "Damn you!" He laughed and grabbed his hands. "Can we go inside? If you're looking to get me going, it's best done where my bullocks can make an appearance?"

Sirius did not need to be told again. He grabbed Remus's hand and dragged him inside the castle, in a half-run as they scaled the staircases and up to the tower. A first year screamed as they tore in through the portrait and ran loudly upstairs, robes being shed as soon as they hit their door. Sirius threw Remus back onto a bed—he recognized it as James's—and he lay down beside him, grinning half-nakedly at him as he wrapped his arms around him. "Let's fuck…"

It was like this every day through Christmas. They ate, slept, and christened furniture so much that their arses hurt by the time Christmas Eve came around. They had given it a rest all day, and when midnight came, they were snuggling by the fire in the common room. Sirius was sitting and staring into the fire, Remus sitting between his legs and leaning back against him with a book in his hand. "Is it interesting?" Sirius asked after half an hour of silence. Remus nodded a little and lay his head back on Sirius's shoulder.

"It's all right. I can't put it down, though. The author's really…en…gaging…" He closed his eyes as he felt lips on his neck, and he arched his head away so Sirius could kiss more of that neck. "What're you doing?" he whimpered, and he looked out of the corner of his eye to grin at him.

"Kissin' you," Sirius whispered, and he reached for the book in Remus's hands. Marking the place, he took it from him and closed it, setting it aside. "I got you something for Christmas, Moony." His breath was warm against his lover's neck, and he gave him a squeeze with his thighs. "I'm gonna give it to you."

"Are you?" Remus asked in a tired, quiet voice, and he placed his hands on Sirius's knees. "I told you not to get me anything…" He was quite tired thanks to Sirius's need for early-morning sex in the shower, but he was too tired to argue very much. "But I got you something, too. You go first."

Sirius smiled and kissed the crown of Remus's head before he reached inside his robes, digging around a bit. "I know you told me not to get you anything, but I never listen to you anyway," he claimed, and he pulled out a piece of paper. He reached around and slipped it into Remus's hand.

"What's this?" inquired Remus, and he opened the paper. "'Go upstairs and look in your bed…?' Sirius, did you put something in my bed!" He turned around and gave him a look before he got up and followed the instructions, trampling up the stairs before he went into the dormitory with Sirius tailing him. He looked at him funny when he saw a funny lump in his covers, and he lifted the duvet and gasped, nearly dropping it at the sight of a tiny orange kitten curled up near his pillow. "Sirius, you son of a bitch…"

Sirius grinned widely at him and laughed as Remus kissed him squarely on the lips. "Don't call me names. You love him; admit it," he demanded, sitting down with Remus on the bed as his lover lifted the tiny animal. "Cute, isn't he?"

"Unbearably," Remus cooed as he held the little cat in his hand, his fingers playing in its fur. The creature did not even stir. He grinned and lay him down at the foot of the bed and crawled into Sirius's lap, kissing his cheek. "I love you."

"Gross," Sirius replied, and he laughed as Remus whacked him on the shoulder. "Fine, fine…I love you, too. You said you got me something. Hand it over before I become violent…" He smiled and absently stroked the kitten while Remus got up and went to his trunk.

Remus dug through the contents for a few moments before he smiled and ran his fingers through his hair, bringing out a wrapped package and setting it on Sirius's lap. "Had to save a bit, but I think you will enjoy it…" He blushed a little and looked away as Sirius ripped off the wrapping paper and yelped at the contents.

"Moony, you kinky, kinky werewolf," Sirius purred as he drew from the package a pair of steel handcuffs and a number of plain black ties. "You know just what to do to me…" He stared at the contents for a moment before he gave Remus a filthy look. "I can't wait to tie you up in the morning…After we open all those gifts? You'd better watch out." He grabbed Remus and pulled him close. "Unless…you want it the other way around?"

Remus shivered and gave a little nod. "I think it's high time for you to submit to me, Mister…Mister um…" He thought to himself, trying to think of a stupid name for Sirius. "Mister Padfoot." He grinned, happy too have thought of it. "I should whip you into submission right now…"

"Yes, you should, Mister Moony," Sirius whispered, and before he could blink, he was naked, handcuffed, and tied to the four posts.

* * *

**Please visit (sakaim. livejournal. com) minus the spaces in the link for the remainder of this chapter!**


	30. The Resident FuckUp

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Resident Fuck-Up**

**Part 30 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Fifth year went by faster than any of them could have imagined. Remus had panicked over his O.W.L.s, but he did fine on them, managing them in all subjects but Potions. It was no devastation to him. Sirius and James did exceptionally well, and even Peter managed to scrape by with a good share. The summer was relaxed and warm, and during the holidays, Sirius and Remus grew ever closer. "I'll be with you forever," Sirius would croon to him every night as they drifted off to sleep, his mouth a soft, warm presence by Remus's ear, and Remus believed it. Their kitten thrived happily with them, often given extravagant gifts and shown more affection than any human.

When September first rolled around, though, Remus found himself dreading the coming full moon more than he ever had before. He expressed these concerns with Sirius, who would merely snort and hold onto him, lavishing him in kisses and caresses. He always knew how to make Remus feel better. Nevertheless, Remus could not shake the feeling.

The day of, Remus felt sicker than usual, and he kissed Sirius on the cheek that morning as he hauled himself out of bed. "I'm going to go to Pomfrey and rest today, Sirius," he said quietly, and he smiled as Sirius drew him into his arms and covered his neck in kisses. "Stop it. A morning shag won't make me feel better, I'm afraid…" His hands laced with Sirius's, and he turned to kiss his cheek before he closed his eyes. "I love you."

When Remus was safely tucked away in the Hospital Wing, James and Sirius chose to spend the day outside. It was a Saturday and it was beautiful out by the lake, so they were skipping stones when Snape happened upon them. "Well, well!" Sirius barked, and he turned to throw one of the stones at the slimy git. "Looking for trouble, Snivellus?" The wind outside kicked up around them.

Snape sneered and stalked up to him, giving a shake of his head. "You truly are pathetic, Black. Where's Lupin? There's a distinct lack of any decency whatsoever out here…Not that he would do anything about it. He's a rather terrible Prefect, isn't he? Once a month he disappears without a trace…Where does he go?"

Sirius was on him in a moment, his wand shaking furiously not an inch from his ugly nose. "You keep your mouth shut about Remus," he hissed, and he glared daggers into him. "You want to know where he goes every month? Fine. We're fucking sick of you asking!"

James's eyes widened. "Sirius, don't…"

"No, NO! He wants to know, let him find out! Go prod the knot on the Whomping Willow, Snape, and follow the tunnel to the end! THAT'S where he goes every month! Since you're so fucking in love with him, go see for yourself!" He was yelling into Snape's face, spit flying from between his lips. "GO! After dusk, then he goes. See for your FUCKING SELF!"

Snape's eyes widened and he took off running as though they could take the secret back with him, but Sirius caught him. "Levicorpus!" The moment Snivellus was upside-down in midair, he used his wand to fling him out over the lake and drop him in it, snickering. James laughed and gave him a high-five before they headed back towards the castle. "That's what he gets," Sirius laughed, his arm thrown around James's neck. "Maybe Remus'll kill him…"

James snorted then cleared his throat a little. "You…think this is a good idea? I mean…We should stop him, right?" He looked up into Sirius's eyes and frowned. "Remus'll be…really, really pissed off."

"Nah." Sirius threw his hair back in the wind and accompanied James to the Great Hall.

Remus lay in the Hospital Wing for a long while by himself, staring out the window. His stomach was hurting. The clock read two pm when Sirius came in to see him. "Hi," whispered Remus as Sirius drew the curtains around the bed and lay on the bedside with him. His arms reached out to seize Sirius, and he drew him close to kiss him. "I feel like I've been hit by a lorry…"

Sirius smiled and stroked his hair. "Lorry or not, you're still as lickable as ever." He suddenly was the dog, lying on Remus's chest and licking him all over his face. Remus laughed and embraced him, knowing that Madam Pomfrey would not come in when she saw the curtains drawn, and he kissed Padfoot on the snout. Sirius slipped his long, flat tongue into Remus's mouth, causing Remus to splutter, and he pushed him back, glaring as Sirius turned back laughing like mad.

"Damn you, Sirius!" he snarled, but then Sirius had him by the hair and was really kissing him, throwing his leg over him and moaning into his mouth. Remus's eyes closed and he wrapped his arms up and around his lover. "I love you…love you…" He found himself breathless when Sirius's lips slid lower, and he shivered when he felt those hands on him. "I wish I felt better…God, I'd fuck you right now…"

Sirius huffed against Remus's neck then looked up at him. "It's all right, luv. You can shag me all you'd like tomorrow night…" He laughed when he felt Remus's cock twitch beneath him at the prospect, and he crawled off of him, sitting up by his pillow. "James and I have to finish our homework so we can come with you tonight…I wish I could stay with you all afternoon."

"I know," Remus claimed, and he sat up a bit to give Sirius one last kiss. "Can't wait to see you again. Have fun with your Charms essay…" He closed his eyes as Sirius kissed behind his ear.

"I will…And hey. Love you, too." He pressed his lips to Remus's forehead before he got up and left the Hospital Wing, winking at Remus before he closed the door.

Had he known it was the last happy and in love moment they would spend together for a long, long time, Remus might have never let Sirius leave.

When Snape followed Remus down to the Whomping Willow and crept in after Madam Pomfrey had left, he made it to the end of the tunnel, hearing strange things on the other side of the door, but just as he moved to open it, James caught him and tried to pull him away. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME, POTTER!" he yelled, and he tore from those arms, throwing open the door to the end of the tunnel and coming face-to-face with the most horrifying thing he had ever seen. Sirius slammed the door shut and charmed it so even as Remus threw himself at the door, snarling and clawing, he did not break it open, and Snivellus looked at Sirius in utter disbelief. "You…tried to kill…YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

James grabbed Snape and dragged him back towards the Whomping Willow, shaking as the nasty Slytherin screeched at Sirius the entire time. They took him up to the castle and to Dumbledore, whose eyes lost their twinkle. Sirius spent the night throwing up in the bathroom.

The next morning, Sirius went to the Hospital Wing, his eyes wide as Madam Pomfrey turned him away. "Remus doesn't want to see you, Sirius. He will be released later this afternoon…" She had a hint of sadness in her voice, and Sirius could hear Remus sobbing as well as the quiet tones of Dumbledore. Sirius's eyes welled with tears, and he clasped his hands together.

"Please. Please let me see him, Madam Pomfrey," he choked, and by some miracle, she broke down. Motioning for him to wait a moment, she disappeared behind Remus's curtain, returning with Dumbledore a moment later. They left the Hospital Wing together, leaving the boys alone. The moment the door closed, Sirius swallowed hard and went to Remus's bed, opening the curtain and moving inside. "Remus…"

Remus would not look at him. He did not even lift his face from his hands, which dripped tears. "Get the fuck OUT of here!" he rasped in a thick, deep voice. "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" At this, he dropped his hands, and Sirius saw the horrible gashes across his cheeks and nose that had never been there before. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME, SIRIUS!" His cry was guttural, and he hid his face in the blanket.

Sirius felt tears sliding off of his cheeks, and he moved to sit on the bedside. "I-I do, M-Moony. More'n anything, you kn-know that…I…Remus, look at me!" He moved his arms around Remus, eyes widening as Remus pushed him away. He persisted, trying to move close again, but Remus screamed at him and punched him in the face, knocking him clear off the bed.

"Don't TOUCH ME, GODDAMNIT!" Remus got shakily out of bed and kicked the hell out of Sirius's shoulder, roaring at him. "DON'T YOU REALIZE WHAT THE FUCK WOULD HAVE HAPPENED? HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU EVER, EVER AGAIN!"

Sirius yelped when he was kicked, and he stood up, holding his shoulder. "Remus, I'm s-sorry…" His voice sounded so small, and his eyes widened as Remus lurched forward and kissed him roughly on the lips. When Remus drew back, all tears and blotchy cheeks and fury, Sirius swallowed hard and felt as though he were going to die. "Remus?"

"That's it. That's IT, Sirius Black! You'd BETTER FUCKING REMEMBER IT BECAUSE WE'RE THROUGH AND I'M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN." He looked in his eyes and shook his head. "I love you. I love you, but I can't be with you ever again. Get out," he half-sobbed, and when Sirius reached for him, he wanted more than anything to fall against him and forgive him. He did not.

That night and for many, many subsequent nights, Remus lay in bed with the curtains drawn, an orange cat lying against his chest with tear-soaked fur. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw their last moments of happiness, saw Sirius lying on top of him and kissing him and laughing. Occasionally, he would forget the Silencing Charm, and Sirius could hear him crying miserably or having nightmares. These nights, he would get out of bed and open Remus's drapes, and when Remus looked up at him, he would climb into bed with his ex-boyfriend and close the curtains. When the Silencing Charm was cast, they would turn and face one another, but they could never touch more than fingertips. "Will you forgive me, Remus?" Sirius would ask, and Remus would shake his head no.

"No, never."

And gradually, the nightmares stopped and so did the nights filled with crying or moaning, but Sirius always listened just in case.


	31. Unfulfilled

**Author's notes: **x6truelove6x and I have compiled a soundtrack for this story! Please visit**(bonibonichan. livejournal. com)** without the spacesfor the link to the songs you can download for listening to while you read, and drop my cohort a thank you for being so helpful! A track will be present for each coming chapter as well! The song for this chapter is "A Lonely September" by The Plain White T's.

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Unfulfilled**

**Part 31 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

So time went on. The world did not come to a stop because Remus Lupin and Sirius Black broke up, not for the rest of the population anyway. Remus had never been more lonely in his entire life, and he could see that Sirius was, too. They would talk to each other (they had to—the Marauder's Map was well under way and they needed to work closely together), but they could not really talk. If they touched on accident (or even if on purpose), they would both apologize profusely and look into each other, trying to tell if it was on purpose or not.

At Christmas, Sirius went home with James, leaving Remus at school with Peter. Together, they worked on the map, exploring parts of the castle they would not have been able to get to secretly when the students were there. On Christmas Eve, Remus lay on the couch in the common room and stared at the fireplace, remembering a year ago when he and Sirius lay together on the hearth in companionable silence. He remembered the giving of gifts, the unrestrained sex on James's bed, and he closed his eyes. He missed Sirius. "I miss you," he whispered in a hoarse voice, saying it aloud for the first time and feeling emotion swell in his chest. Sitting up, he hunched over and shook his head. "Sirius…" It was a pitiable sound, a loud moan grumbling with depression.

Lily Evans heard that as she came downstairs, and she felt tears in her eyes. "Hey, Remus," she said quietly, and she went to the couch, sitting beside him and wrapping her arm around his shoulder. She felt him shaking. "Remus, don't. He misses you more than anything and you know it. All you have to do is go ask for him back. That's all…" She closed her eyes as he turned into her and hid his face in her shoulder. "He writes to me every day, asking me about you."

Remus shook his head. "Don't tell him anything, Lily. Please. Don't tell him a damn thing because I have a life of my own and he shouldn't be asking about me!" His hands clutched into fists, and he wanted Lily to leave him alone. He was much too polite to say so.

"I don't. Did you get him anything for Christmas?" she inquired, and by his silence, she knew that was a yes. He reached into his robes and pulled out a chocolate, wrapped in foil with the words, 'I miss you,' raised above the rest of the chocolate. Lily's eyes widened a little, and she took it from his hand. "Remus, it's Christmas Eve. You need to send it."

Remus shook his head and took it back from her. "No. He'll never have it." He stuck it back in his robes and pulled away from her, looking back at the fire. "Did you get Prongs anything?" he asked in a low, tired voice, and he gave a little smile as she nodded. "Good. Prongs is really a good man. He'll do good by you.."

Lily sighed and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Sirius would do good by you, Remus. I think you should tell him." She stood up and shoved her hands in her pockets, smiling lightly at him. "He got you something, too, but he's sent it." When Remus looked up at her with a look of horror, she smiled and left him there, going back upstairs.

When Sirius woke up in the morning, he looked over at James and sighed. "Presents!" he exclaimed to wake him up, and he sat up, looking through his heap of gifts at the bottom of the bed. He wanted something, anything from Remus, but there was nothing. Slumping, he closed his eyes and touched his forehead. "Nothing."

James frowned at him; he had no idea what to say.

Remus woke up to find a pile of gifts, topped by a tiny little box. His eyes widened and he brought it into his hands, pulling off the wrapping and opening a tiny golden box. A tinkling tune filled the room, unrecognizable to him, but it made his eyes fill with tears. Inside was tucked a small note, and he pulled it out, unfolding it and reading it.

'_I love you even if you don't love me back_…'

When the Christmas break was over, Remus noticed that Sirius never quite looked at him, and he wanted him to. Had Sirius looked at him and pulled him close and kissed him, he would have succumbed to him and done anything he wanted. Instead, when he went over to him and lay his hand on his arm, Sirius pulled away and shook his head. "No, Remus," he said quietly. "Don't."

Thus, Remus Lupin learned to get over Sirius Black.

Sixth year came to an end, and Sirius went home with James for the summer. He had been officially disowned by his family and had nothing to his name, but the Potters were only too glad to take him in.

Remus went home to Flora, spending most of the summer buried in books. Flora watched her son lie on the couch and get lost in alternate worlds all summer, unable to handle what was going on in the real world. She spent as much time with him as she could, but he pushed her away.

Every night, Remus lay in bed, his hand pumping his cock desperately. Every time he thought of Sirius when he lay down, his blood all rushed downward, and he would spread his legs and jerk off as though he would never jerk off again. He could feel Sirius's hands on him, feel his lips sucking on his neck and the insides of his thighs, and he would choke and cry out into his pillow, soaking his sheets in come and feeling more unfulfilled than he ever had before.

Little did he know that across the miles, Sirius spent every night doing the same thing.

When school started again, Remus and Sirius rarely spoke. They did not really have time to—the teachers were laying it on thick for their N.E.W.T.s—and Remus was rather glad that they could not talk. He would have yelled at him, smacked him, anything, when he really just wanted to kiss him. Their progress on the Marauder's Map was phenomenal. They were nearly finished, only lacking a few rooms Sirius suspected existed and at least one more secret tunnel. Eventually, the two boys got comfortable enough as friends when they worked on the Map that they could argue and laugh and help each other, but they never looked each other in the eyes.


	32. Putting It All Behind Us

**Author's notes: **Please visit (sakaim. livejournal. com) for the link to the downloadable soundtrack for this story. This chapter corresponds with Silverchair's "After All These Years."

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Putting It All Behind Us**

**Part 32 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Remus watched as his friends became closer the longer the war went on. James and Lily were becoming inseparable, spending all their time together especially as N.E.W.T.s drew near. Sirius was always with them, but Remus helped him study for his Charms examination, knowing that he would likely be lost without it. Tensions were running wild—James and Lily had taken to sleeping together every afternoon to "relieve the stress of upcoming exams." Remus thought it was a load of bullocks. He had to study, too, and it forced him to spend time with Sirius that he would not have otherwise.

They were still a foursome every full moon, and Remus would let himself go, getting lost in the wolf's senses. The wolf sought Sirius out always, and the two canines would romp and play together, much to Remus's utter embarrassment the next morning. When James asked him about it, he claimed that it was not his fault at all; the wolf recognized Sirius as being the first canine he had come in contact with and it was emblazoned in the wolf's memory, the licks and the playfulness they had once shared. It was a half-truth.

The weather was growing warm as exams drew closer, and Remus realized then how very close the end of it all was. No more Hogwarts would mean no more being around Sirius all the time, would mean he was done, he was cast out into the wizarding world in the middle of a war and no chance of getting a reputable job. It often distracted him from his studies, and he would stare out the window at James and Sirius practicing on the Quidditch pitch to relieve their nerves. He wanted to play, too. He looked down to his notes and saw that he had scribbled in the margins.

Tempus fugit. "Isn't that the truth?" he asked in a low voice, and he crumpled the page. Time flies…Hardly yesterday, he had been out playing Quidditch with James, Sirius, and Peter during the summer at the Potters', and now everything was just so fucked up. He smiled a little when James and Sirius suddenly veered off-course and flew close to the castle, seeking him out in the window they knew he was studying by. James gave him a laughing wave, and Sirius shot him a thrilling grin, a thumbs up. Remus threw open the window and hung his head outside, relishing in the feel of the wind as it caught his hair and whipped it about him.

"Come play with us, Moony!" Sirius laughed, and he flew right up to the window. "Come on, get on. I'll fly with you." He scooted forward on his broom, getting very close to the window. Remus felt his heart flutter, and he forgot the studies completely. Standing on the windowsill, he eased out onto the broom and placed his hands on Sirius's hips, his familiar hips. Sirius laughed at him and brought his hands around him. "Don't be daft. You'll fall off. Hold on—we're going flying." And suddenly, they were screaming through the air, Remus clutching Sirius with wide eyes. He had never ridden a broom like this.

"Be careful!" he snapped, but there was laughter in his voice, and he gave Sirius a squeeze. He could smell him, the smell of summer and the love they used to share, and he let himself bury his head in Sirius's neck, smelling him and loving him all over again. He felt one of Sirius's hands on one of his, and he held onto it, lacing their fingers. They could pretend, if only just for now. Neither of them noticed that James never followed as they flew out over the lake, the wind whipping through their hair and their clothes and chilling them lightly, but Remus was warm and content. His eyes opened, and he looked down at their reflection on the choppy water with a gentle sigh that he did not even hear due to the wind, and he could see Sirius grinning.

To Remus's surprise, Sirius slowed the broom down, nearly out of sight of the castle, and they stopped there over the lake. Remus wondered briefly if Sirius was going to drown him—he was not the best swimmer. The thought was laughable, and when he chuckled and buried his face in thick black hair, he heard Sirius laugh, too. "Remus, I want to talk to you about something. S'why I brought you out here…"

Remus's heart jumped, and he pulled his head back a little to compose himself and give a little nod. "All right, then. What do you want to talk about?" He placed his hands on the broom behind him and leaned back a little, careful not to upset the balance of the broom. He really did not want to be eaten by the Giant Squid. When Sirius turned around and looked at him, Remus felt very exposed.

"Well, James is going to propose to Lily, you know, and war leaves no time for waiting on anything. My Uncle Alphard left me a house and lots and lots of money, and you're…well, not with your condition, you won't be employed very readily, and I was wondering if maybe…" He swallowed hard and looked embarrassed. "Well, if you come stay with me, we can have a flat and you won't need to work, not really, because I just can't live by myself, Moony, and Peter wouldn't want to anyway." His voice grew quieter as he looked over his shoulder at Remus, and he felt his cheeks burning.

Remus stared at him for a moment, his face slowly working into a scowl. "I don't need any charity, Sirius," he said quietly, and he looked down. "I really, really don't need your charity. I can get by on my own." He was suddenly very ashamed of himself, and he could not seem to meet Sirius's eyes. "Don't feel like you have to, please…"

Sirius's eyes widened and she shook his head. "No! I didn't mean it like that. Remus, I can't live by myself. Please. People are getting killed, and if I die…who would know?" His voice was hushed, and Remus realized for the first time how afraid Sirius was of this war. "Remus, please come stay with me. I won't give you a damn thing if you don't want me to."

Remus closed his eyes and thought. It would be so hard living together like this, in constant confusion and need of one another with no release, but Sirius was right. They needed to stick together, and even if he did not want to say it aloud, he could not really support himself. "Okay," he heard before he even willed himself to say it. He looked up at Sirius and gave a little nod. "I will." He wanted it more than anything.

Sirius's eyes shone, and he gave a happy laugh. "Thank god!" he sighed, and he began to move the broom again, eyes closing as he felt Remus's arms slide around him again. He pretended it was because Remus was happy, that it was not about not falling into the lake. He leaned back into him again, and when he felt Remus's face slid in against his neck and felt him inhale his scent, Sirius wanted to kiss him. He missed Remus's lips, and it hurt that he could feel them against his hair but nowhere else. "Hold on," he whispered, and as Remus's embrace tightened, he skyrocketed the broom upward, taking off back toward the castle.

When they got back to the castle and landed the broom on the front lawn, Remus stepped shakily off and tried to regain his sense of balance, blushing a little as he stumbled and Sirius caught him from behind, righting him again and holding on for a moment that extended into eternity. Remus turned his head to look at him over his shoulder to find Sirius gazing sweetly into his eyes, and he leaned up a bit, not going all the way and waiting for it, waiting for Sirius to kiss him. He felt Sirius's nose brush his, felt his breath on his lips, and he pressed back into him needily, his tongue moving out to wet his lips quickly. "Kiss me, Sirius…" It was a breath.

"Er…Am I interrupting something?" Sirius was just about to close the half-inch between them when James coughed and cleared his throat, giving them a dirty look. Remus's cheeks lit aflame when he realized what they had been doing, and he pulled away quickly, clearing his throat.

"Not at all. I just fell getting off the broom; Sirius caught me. Still weak from the moon over the weekend, I guess." Remus straightened his robes and swallowed hard, unable to get over the feeling of Sirius holding onto him as he had. "Prat took me out over the lake and tried to drown me."

"I didn't!" Sirius protested, and his eyes widened as James upended him with the Levicorpus spell, snapping at him for jeopardizing the precious integrity of one Messr. Moony. Sirius yelled and fussed, thrashing in mid-air, and when Remus laughed and told James to let him go, Sirius fell awkwardly on the grass.

"Take me up to my window, one of you. You distracted me from my studies." His heart hammered when Sirius jumped at the chance, and he climbed on the back of the broom again, arms wrapping around his ex-boyfriend as they flew up and around the towers, back to the open window. When Remus climbed onto the windowsill, he slipped into the room and turned around to look at Sirius, blushing a little. "Thank you."

Sirius smiled very lightly and nodded his head, reaching out to him. Remus caught his hand and held it for a moment, his thumb rubbing his palm for a moment as Sirius leaned in through the window a little. "I miss you, Remus," he said quietly, and then he was gone.

Remus's eyes closed, and he sank back down to the chair where he had been sitting briefly before. "Miss you, too," he whispered to no one, and he felt himself smiling in spite of himself. Reaching into his robe, he drew out the tiny music box he had received from Sirius for Christmas his sixth year, and he opened it, listening to the tinkle of the song he recognized as "Howl at the Moon," a children's song he sang as a child.

_Halloween night, _

_Moon shining bright._

_You'll see such an amazing sight._

_All of the wolves gather 'round._

_They make a very sad and lonely sound._

_Sadder than the wind through the trees,_

_It puts a lot of little goose bumps on me._

_When the wolves sing their song,_

_They want you to sing along and . . ._

_Howl at the moon._

_Howl at the moon._

_Howl at the moon._

_Howl at the moon._

_They come from miles and miles away._

_They sing all night and sleep all day._

_Fat ones, skinny ones, tall ones, too,_

_But there's always room for you to . . ._

_Howl at the moon._

_Howl at the moon._

_Howl at the moon._

_Howl at the moon._

_They sing all night till the moon sinks low,_

_The sun comes up, and it's time to go._

_They say goodbye without a tear._

_They'll be back same time next year to . . ._

_Howl at the moon._

_Howl at the moon._

_Howl at the moon._

_Howl at the moon._

When exams came upon them, Remus felt that he did fantastically on them. Sirius and James felt the same way, but Peter felt quite wretched over his. They shared a Butterbeer together out by the lake, trying to cheer Peter up over it and trying to cheer themselves up. Graduation was tomorrow.

Sirius and Remus had been quite shy of one another, not mentioning the almost-kiss and not mentioning the declaration Sirius had made in the tower window. They did, however, get flat catalogues sent to them from Hogsmeade to spend hours arguing over what they wanted. Remus had his mind made up on a flat in London, and finally Sirius agreed, sending the necessary owls.

Out by the lake, all that was forgotten now, and the four of them just wanted to forget everything. James was fooling with a little box he had in his pocket—he was going to propose the moment she finished her final exam, there by the lake with their friends. Sirius was lying in the grass with his head on one of Remus's books, and Remus was napping in the warm sun. James prodded him with his foot to see if he was really asleep, and when he did not move, he looked at Sirius. "The other day, you…almost kissed him, didn't you?"

Sirius blushed and rolled over, burying his face in the grass. "He asked me to." The warm grass muffled his voice, and he sneezed as a beetle attempted to conquer his nostril. Sitting up, he rubbed his nose and looked down at the sleeping Moony, that shock of blonde-brown hair hanging in his face and moved by his light snores. Sirius reached over and tucked the hair away behind his ear. "And I wanted him to ask me."

James watched his best friend with a sad expression. "Pads, don't get hurt again. Either of you. You nearly killed each other last time…" He ruffled his hair and looked up nervously as Lily came out of the castle, beautiful as ever. "Wake him up!"

Sirius shook Remus's shoulder and smiled as he came to, a grumpy look on his face. "What the hell? I was…oh!" He sat up and sat close to Sirius, staring as Lily approached them. "Hi, Lils! How'd it go!" he called, feeling Sirius's hand on his lower back. She laughed and hurried over, kissing James on the cheek before she sat down among them, green eyes glancing at the close proximity of Remus and Sirius. She said nothing about it.

"It went fine. I aced it for sure!" She smiled at Remus as he grinned widely at her, clueless that he was actually grinning because Sirius's hand was now rubbing him very gently up and down along his lower spine. He moved a little closer to him discreetly, feeling Sirius's fingers slide around his side and hold him there, and he glanced up at him.

"Wonderful!" James said, and he tugged her close, kissing her several times before he took her hand. "I want to ask you something, Lily." He buried his face against her neck, smiling before he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. Her face flushed and she looked to Remus, seeking a telling expression, but he was blank, staring at her.

"Okay…" she said quietly, and her eyes widened as James reached into his robes and pulled out a tiny velvet box, opening it for her and showcasing the silver and emerald ring. "Oh, James…"

"I want you to marry me, Lily," he said quietly, and he blushed as she looked into his eyes and slapped the hell out of him. "Wha—?" His hand lifted to his cheek, and he gawked at her.

"Damn you, James Potter! You shouldn't have spent this kind of money! Of course I'll marry you, you dolt!" She glared at him but melted as he pounced her and melded their lips together, her hands shaking as they came up to bury in his hair. The other three Marauders cheered them, Remus having an excuse to lean into Sirius and Sirius having a reason to cling to him.

It was a beautiful end to the happiest years of their lives.


	33. Motorcycle Romance

**Author's notes: **Please DL and listen to Such Great Heights by The Postal Service for this chapter. This is available for DL on my LJ.

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Motorcycle Romance**

**Part 33 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

After school ended, Remus and Sirius found it surprisingly easy to live together. They had their two bedroom flat on the outskirts of Muggle London, near a great forest, and they took pains not to touch one another for fear of what might happen. This day was, shockingly, beautiful and warm, and Sirius had gone out to take advantage of it. Remus was tempted to join along, but the thought that they might actually touch and lose control of themselves in public was humiliating. "You go on, Pads. I'm going to read, I think."

Sirius's had rolled in a most maddening matter, and Remus threw the newspaper at him, laughing as she scampered out of the house. Now that he was by himself with no one but the telly and books, he found himself miserably bored, so he took his key and pocketed it before heading outside. The breeze caught his hair, and he sighed deeply into the sunlight, cheeks warming. It was not too hot or too cold—just perfect. Hands in his pockets, he began walking down the street, glancing in the windows of shops and thinking how much Sirius would like some of the things they were selling. He wondered if Sirius would bring him anything home from his trip out, though he suspected that he had just gone to visit the bride and groom-to-be. Sirius would not bring him anything anyway; they were not dating.

He fantasized about the way things used to be. He could still feel Sirius's fingers laced with his, the feel of their palms sweating against one another. He could imagine it—they would be walking down this street hand-in-hand, maybe in silence or maybe laughing or maybe being obnoxious together as they were wont to do. Perhaps Sirius would pull him into one of these small shops and tug him into one of the hidden corners and kiss him, or maybe he would not even bother with pulling him out of sight. They would get lost in each other then, lost in their world of comfort and sunshine and absolute love.

Remus never meant to fall in love.

He had been leaning against the glass of a display, thinking and looking quite tragic, apparently, for a small child stopped his mother and tugged on Remus's trousers. "'Scuse me, mister…" This snapped Remus out of his fantasy and he looked, embarrassed and bewildered at the mother and son who were staring at him. "You 'kay, mister?" The voice was so small, so innocent, and Remus smiled to him.

"I'm fine," he lied. "I just got tired is all…" The child seemed satisfied and dragged his mother away, followed by Remus's eyes. He was not fine in any sense of the term as far as he was concerned. He heard a distinct rumbling growing louder, and he groaned. "Oh god, I'm going crazy," he lamented, but he realized from the expressions of other streetwalkers that he was not going crazy at all. Whipping around, his eyes grew huge as he saw Sirius speeding by them on an enormous motorcycle, hair flying back in the wind. "Oh my god."

There were several young teenaged girls who swooned as he roared by, and Remus rounded on them suddenly. "Don't swoon!" he snapped, getting horrified looks. "You'll encourage him! My GOD. He is NOT bringing that in the house!" Without even getting a verbal response from the girls, he wheeled around and ran back towards the flat, fuming as Sirius parked the bike and rubbed the chrome with a cloth. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT, SIRIUS BLACK!"

Sirius gave a mild start then grinned, straddling the enormous bike and giving Moony an insolent look. "It's a loaded Suzuki GS 750, Moony, charmed to twice its size and capable of things normal bikes can't do!" he exclaimed, turning the bike on and letting it roar. Remus covered his ears until the roaring quieted, giving Sirius his best glare even though he was positively dashing on that bike. Sirius gave him a funny look then smiled. "Get on, Moony."

"But neither of us have helmets!" he snapped, but he said it as he was climbing on the back of it, his feet resting on the bitch rests and his arms locking around Sirius's waist. "This is just—HOLY FUCK!" His cry was lost in the wind as they were suddenly flying down the road at unmanageable speeds by any normal bike, and he buried his face in Sirius's neck. They were headed for the countryside, he knew, and he shakily lifted his head once he was comfortable, and he looked around them to see nothing but a great green and brown blur. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PUT ME ON THIS THING!"

Sirius threw his head back and laughed maniacally before he looked around, making sure they were the only ones around before he hit some switch and suddenly they were airbourne. Remus's arms tightened around Sirius and he looked down at the shrinking landscape, and they were flying so high that Sirius had to cast a pressure spell. Remus's ears popped, and he took a deep breath, glad that the spell did not restrict the wind from blowing their hair. "What do you think!" Sirius yelled, his hair whipping in Remus's face.

Remus held his head close and tucked his nose in against the nape of Sirius's neck. "It's wonderful," he confessed against his ear, and he felt Sirius lean back slightly into him. "But I can't believe you bought it. James will kill you…" He felt Sirius's hand on his knee, and he let himself press his lips to the back of Sirius's neck. He could not help himself; they were so close. He felt Sirius's hand slide back as far as it could, and he relaxed his grip around him as much as he could without risk of flying off the back. Sirius's hand slowly lifted up and moved back to tangle in Remus's hair, holding his head close and tilting his head to one side.

Remus's eyes widened and he stopped suddenly, blushing, and he cleared his throat, reaching up and pulling Sirius's hand away. "Sorry…I was just thinking." He blushed as Sirius shook his head and grabbed Remus by his hair again, hauling him in close so his lips were touching his neck. "S-Sirius?"

"Just for now," Sirius begged, and he closed his eyes. "Just for this moment, not after or anything. Please…" He felt his heart nearly stop as Remus's arms encircled him and those lips opened over his neck, and he pushed his hair behind his ear so Remus could have full access to him. He felt those teeth against his skin and he hissed, both of his hands clutching the handlebars shakily as Remus thoroughly noshed him from behind for the first time in years.

When they landed back on an old country road near dusk, Remus had stopped and buried his face between those shoulder-blades, lightly chilled from the wind, and he was so embarrassed. They had both lost control up there, and he would not be able to face Sirius for days. Sirius was covered in love-bites, harsh and purple, and he had never, ever been so ashamed. They rode in silence, and when Sirius pulled up to the front of the apartment, Remus got off the bike and shakily made his way up to their apartment, unlocking the door and hurrying to his room to hide.

Sirius watched him with great sadness, and he felt the back of his neck, shaking lightly as he turned the bike off and went into the house. Remus was nowhere to be found, and he sighed before he settled on the couch and closed his eyes. He wanted Remus to come in and straddle him, tell him that they deserved each other and that he missed him so much.

He didn't.


	34. When It Really Hit Him

**Author's notes: **For this chapter, please listen to Jewel: Foolish Games. This track and past tracks can be found on my Livejournal (sakaim. livejournal. com).

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**When It Really Hit Him**

**Part 34 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Rain always made Sirius depressed. It seemed to have some power over him, and even the lightest drizzle would send him on the couch all day. When he woke up, he went to the kitchen and made some coffee, his hair tied back in a ribbon because it was hot in the flat. Fading love-bites were present on the back of his neck; he wished they would never go away. They proved that Remus still held some sort of physical attraction for him. When they were gone, maybe that attraction would be, too. He sat down at the table and drank slowly from his coffee, staring out at the rain. He hated London.

Remus woke up to the smell of coffee and crept out of bed in his pyjamas, going to the kitchen and blushing at the sight of Sirius showing off the remaining love-bites from their motorcycle ride three days before. They had been in the flat for a month, and he had thought they were doing fine until that ride. He could see the need in Sirius's eyes to go riding, but it was raining, and he knew what that meant. Sirius was miserable.

He poured himself a cup and stood by the window, opening it and letting some air in. It smelled like rain. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the windowpane, sighing. "Did you sleep well, Sirius?" he asked in a very quiet voice, and he jumped when he felt a hand lightly on his hip. "Sirius, don't."

"I haven't slept well in almost two years," Sirius replied from beside him, and he turned to meet his gaze. "Remus, I want to talk to you about something important…" He took Remus's shoulders and turned him towards him so they were looking at one another straight-on. Remus did not say anything, just looking out the window with a pensive look on his face. Sirius noted the play of the dim sunlight on his features; his pyjama top was askew just enough so that the sunlight caught on silver scar just beneath his collarbone, and he wanted to kiss it like he used to. "Will you look at me at least?"

Remus shook his head, worrying his lower lip as he stared absently at a spot on the windowpane. Sirius's hand rested on his cheek and turned his head to him, and only then did Remus meet his eyes. "Sirius, I told you. Don't." His voice sounded as though it was on the edge of breaking, and he blushed because of it. "Please. Let's not talk about it. I was done talking about it in sixth year, Sirius," he said in a stronger voice, and he looked away again.

"Well I'm not done talking about it," Sirius stated calmly, and when Remus's eyes jumped to him again, he took advantage of him and leaned in to kiss him, thwarted by the turning of Remus's cheek so his lips caught his jaw. "Damn it, Remus, I'm in love with you. You're in love with me. We're in love with each other, for god's sake! Why the FUCK can't we be like we used to!" The more he spoke, the higher and more frantic his voice became, and he grabbed both of Remus's cheeks to hold his head in place as he leaned in and conquered his lips for a split second before he pulled back but still held him like that. "You can't tell me you don't feel that!" he hissed.

Remus shoved him away, swiping at his lips, and he took a few steps backward, tripping over the end table and righting himself quickly. "No, Sirius! I don't feel it! I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING FEEL IT!" he snapped, feeling quite maniacal in that moment, and he lifted the lamp off the table as though it could somehow protect him from Sirius's advances. "You fucked up, Sirius! I can't love you! Stop ASKING me!" He felt tears spring to his eyes unwillingly and growled, setting the lamp back down because he realized it could trap him there with its cord.

Sirius saw those tears, saw them tremble on the edges of his eyelashes, and as they fell he felt his heart shatter. He approached Remus again, wanting to dry those tears, but Remus lifted his hands and shook his head. "You're a liar," Sirius laughed, but it was not really laughter. "You're the biggest fucking liar I've ever met, Remus John Lupin. How can you lie to yourself like that?"

"I'm NOT LYING!" Remus was losing control over his emotions; he needed to find an escape. He looked around and backed to the door, grabbing his jacket from the coat rack. "Get over me already! FUCK!" He punched the door hard before he threw it open, casting one last, teary look at Sirius with a shake of his head. "I'm never coming back to you, Sirius. NEVER. Get it out of your FUCKING head!" His voice trembled and broke on the final word, and his face crumpled before he flung himself out into the rain, running down the stairs and onto the sidewalk in the midst of the downpour.

Sirius stared at the doorway for a long time before he sank down to his knees and clutched at his chest, willing himself not to cry. He wouldn't. He couldn't.

He did.

Remus's run slowed, and he slipped into an alley so he could Apparate. He stood momentarily in Diagon Alley, the tears easily mistaken for rain on his unprotected face, so no one passed him a glance from beneath their black umbrellas. The Alley was rather empty, and he walked down the middle, recalling where he and the rest of the Marauders had once gone together in the shops. He remembered the summer when Sirius stayed with him, remembered kissing him in front of Florean Fortescue's with lips covered in caramel, remembered creeping down Knockturn Alley with him the one and only time.

This was tearing him apart.

As he walked, he stopped by a newsstand and was looking through magazines in an attempt to get his mind off of Sirius when the Daily Prophet's headline caught his eye: "DARK MARK ANNOUNCES TWO MORE DEATHS." He blinked a little—he did not try to keep up with the war because it frightened him, but the headline drew him. It was not an unusual headline, but the photograph beneath it was what snagged his interest.

The keeper of the stand saw him looking, and they gave a somber nod. "Tragic, really. If you know what's best for you, you'll keep out of this war." Remus scarcely heard him as he reached down to pick up the Prophet, his eyes skimming the words. He had to blink several times to make them out properly, as they were cloudy from crying, and when the two names were mentioned, his hands convulsed and the paper fell in a flutter of wet paper, news scattered everywhere. "Hey, you're going to pay for that!"

Remus choked and stared down at the scattered paper, his heart pounding and bile in his throat as the stand keeper admonished him. He was going to throw up. Without thinking, he Apparated from the spot.

Sirius had pulled himself together and was washing his face when he heard a loud slam against the door outside. Giving a terrible start, he hurried to the door and looked through the peephole, seeing nothing but black, so he opened the door and felt dread he had never experienced as Remus stood there shaking and obviously beyond tears. He looked broken, hollow standing there in the rain, and Sirius cursed before he pulled him inside.

Remus fell against his chest and buried his face in against Sirius's neck, his shaking intensifying before he expelled a keening wail, an inhuman sound that chilled Sirius right through. "Remus, fuck, what's wrong!" he asked, clutching to his soaked form as he was screamed into. Remus could not manage a syllable, his hands reaching up and around Sirius's neck and into his hair, clutching handfuls of it with such force that Sirius winced and dug his fingernails into Remus's shoulder blades.

There was the unmistakable crack of someone Apparating just outside the open door, and Sirius looked up into Dumbledore's eyes as the man invited himself in and laid his hand on Remus's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Remus." His voice was very soft, and Sirius gave him a helpless look. Dumbledore closed his eyes and sighed. "Your parents were good people, Remus. I regret you had to find out from…another source."

Sirius's eyes widened and Remus pulled his hair harder, giving such a harsh sob that Dumbledore looked away. "I must return back to pressing business, I'm afraid. Sirius, I trust you will look after Remus closely." The older man looked uncomfortable before he Apparated away, leaving Sirius alone with the grieving Remus.

Slowly, Sirius eased Remus's grip on his hair and took him to the bathroom, stripping him of the wet clothes while he lay against him in a shaky silence with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. Sirius took one of the towels from the shower curtain rod and rubbed Remus's nude form dry, warming him up with the friction of the terry cloth, and he wrapped him in a warm robe before he drew him into the bedroom and sat him on the bed, sitting next to him and wrapping his arms around him for the longest time. "I'm here, Remus," he breathed into his ear, and he felt himself break down as Remus nodded fiercely. His heart broke for Remus, for the mother who had so embraced the relationship he held with Remus that fateful summer, and he touched his cheek to Remus's hair as they cried silently together.


	35. That's When We'll Explode

**Author's notes: **The song for this chapter is Muse: Unintended. A link can be found in my livejournal (sakaim. livejournal. com)

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**That's When We'll Explode**

**Part 35 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Remus slept in Sirius's arms for most of the day, his head tucked in against his shoulder. They were not even lying down; Sirius was sitting up on the couch with Moony cradled in his lap, the telly on very quietly but not really being watched. Sirius's hand stroked through Remus's hair as he slept a troubled sleep, his unconscious form often giving a jerk or a soft cry, and Sirius would squeeze him then. Remus would open his eyes every half hour or so, a wide-eyed, broken expression in his eyes as he sat up straight on that lap and stared at Sirius as though looking for an explanation, but Sirius would pull him back down into a comfortable snuggle and kiss his hair, and Remus would fall back to sleep.

When Remus finally woke up for good, he did not sit up but held himself closer to Sirius. "I've a headache," he complained in the smallest voice, and Sirius summoned a bottle of pills from the medicine cabinet. He poured two into his palm and offered them to Remus, who swallowed them without water or anything else then lifted himself shakily off of Sirius's lap to stumble to the kitchen.

Sirius hurried after him, forcing him to sit at the table as he put the kettle on. As the water heated up, he stood behind Remus and took his head in his hands, rubbing at his temples in an attempt to massage the ache away. "Relax, Moony," he whispered, and Remus reached up to take those hands and pull them down. Sirius knelt beside the chair and laid a hand on Remus's thigh, resting his cheek there, too, and he felt the other choke before a tear fell and splattered on his cheek. "Shhh…"

Remus buried his face in one hand and clutched Sirius's fingers with other, sniffling. The kettle began to whistle, and Sirius rose up to go pour a steaming cup for Remus. Bringing it to the table, he pushed it back to cool and sat on the chair beside his ex-boyfriend, arms reaching out to bring him in against his chest. "Sirius…" The sound was pathetic, and Sirius pulled Moony into his lap and embraced him tightly.

For a long while they sat like that, then Remus moved to his chair again and drank his tea, never removing the teabag from the water. Sirius did it for him, setting it on a saucer and rubbing Remus's back. "We'll go for a ride, if you like," he said quietly, even though it was raining. They still did not own helmets, nor did they care. Remus gave the smallest nod, wanting to get lost in the roar of the machine, so when he finished his tea, he got up and disappeared for a few moments before he came back dressed presentably and warmly, hands shaky as they ran through his own hair.

Sirius rose and went over to him, straightening his collar before his hands were caught. Remus looked tearfully into his eyes before his arms slid around his neck and they were kissing, his lips salty and wet against Sirius's. The brunette's arms slid slowly around Remus's waist and drew him flush against his chest, teeth clacking lightly against the other's before they both fell into the rhythm and into each other. The tension slowly eased and it was as though they had never stopped kissing in the past near-two years. The kiss ended and Remus did not pull back, instead resting his chin on Sirius's shoulder and squeezing him. "I love you."

Sirius nodded and swayed with him for a few moments, whispering his devotion to Remus in his ear and rubbing the small of his back in small circles. A knock at the door caught Sirius's attention, and he called for whomever it was to come in, a sad smile spreading across his lips as James and Lily hurried inside and over to the pair, Lily's arms flinging around the both of them and James's hands on Sirius's shoulders. "Oh Remus, sweetheart," Lily whispered as Remus began to shake again, and Sirius shook his head at her, pleased that she backed off of him. He was still tucked into Sirius's neck, seemingly latched onto him. "We came over as soon as we read…We're so sorry…" Lily's voice was wavering.

Sirius smiled at them and moved to extricate himself from Remus's hold, and he turned to face James. "You caught us at a bad time, I'm afraid," he sighed, and he watched Remus as he went to look out the window. The rain was hardly more than a light mist, and he closed the window before putting his cup in the sink and beginning to wash it. Lily frowned and went to help him, her hand resting on his back, and he leaned into her. "I was going to take him for a ride on the bike, get him out of the house for some fresh air. Thanks for coming over, James…" He hugged his best friend and sighed before he pulled back and went to Remus, seeing his trembling hands causing ripples in the dishwater. He reached in and brought one soapy hand out, lacing their fingers.

Lily watched them, watched as Remus forgot she was there and dropped the cup onto the bottom of the sink before sliding close to tuck his head in against Sirius again. "Ah, we just wanted to see how you were doing," she said quietly, and she leaned over to kiss Remus's tearful cheek before smiling at Sirius. "We'll let you take him out, Sirius. Maybe dinner would be nice, too? Something light on his stomach." Sirius nodded at the suggestion and closed his eyes as the couple embraced them, then the Potters were gone.

Remus sighed when they were gone and leaned up to kiss Sirius again before he sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "Dinner sounds nice, Pads," he said in a thick voice, and Sirius kissed his cheek. Already, they were falling back into their old habits. Taking Remus to the door, he slid a warm coat around his shoulders and put one on for himself, putting his boots on and helping Remus lace his before they went out. He removed the cover from the bike and sat down on it, starting it with a roar and smiling as Remus attached to him from behind, his head tucked into his hair as Sirius took off roaring down the streets.

They rode for a long time through London, Remus resting against Sirius and holding tightly to his stomach. His eyes were closed, the wind whipping his eyelashes, and Sirius's hair nearly covered his head. He had never felt so wrapped up in him. Sirius smiled and drove him through the darkening streets, attracting the lusty looks of women as they drove into the heart of London. He had a very specific restaurant in mind, and when they got there, he parked the bike beneath the streetlamp and let Remus get off before he began to climb off as well, setting up the kickstand, but Remus pushed him back onto the seat and climbed in front of him, facing him with a small smile. It was the first he had shown all day. Sirius pulled him close there in the street on that monstrous bike and kissed him, arms all about him, and he tasted his tongue eagerly, eyes closed.

Remus pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "I lied about not wanting to feel it, Padfoot. I lied…" He looked as though he might cry again, so Sirius drew him in again for another heart-stopping kiss. There were whispers behind them from a group of patrons to the restaurant, but they went ignored as the boys lost themselves in their little world of bikes and moons and absolute freedom.

When they went in, they requested a private booth in the back, and Remus sat very close to Sirius, an arm wrapped around his waist. "I'll have to go to Mum's house tomorrow," he said quietly, and he sighed heavily as Sirius kissed his hair. "You'll come with me, won't you Sirius? I can't go by…by myself." He caught himself, not wanting to cry in public even though they were quite out of sight. Sirius took his hand and drew it to his lips with a nod, and he closed his eyes as Remus moved into his arms completely. They were quiet then; no words needed to be said.

When they had their food, which consisted of two small salads (neither had a large appetite), Remus looked up into Sirius's eyes and gave a little half-smile. "Be with me again, Sirius…"

Sirius paused from snatching his fork and moved in to kiss Remus lightly on the lips before he whispered, "I never left you." Remus's arms wrapped around his neck, and they clung to one another in quiet desperation. They needed one another, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, and they had always known.


	36. A Different Type of Wound

**Author's notes: **For this chapter, please listen to Wounded--Third Eye Blind. A link can be found in my livejournal (sakaim. livejournal. com).

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**A Different Type of Wound**

**Part 36 of the Smitten series**

* * *

When Remus Lupin woke up the morning after his parents' death, he did not open his eyes for fear of it all being real. Burying his face deeper into the pillow, he swallowed hard and willed that his parents were alive again, willed them back into existence. Perhaps it had all been a dream, a stupid hoax, or maybe the newspapers were playing a nasty joke. He whimpered very lightly into the pillowcase.

Sirius had been awake for quite a while, lying on his side and watching Remus in sleep. When he obviously woke up and tried to hide from the world, Sirius's hand slid onto his hip, and he rubbed his palm just under the hem of his shirt, smiling as Remus rolled onto his back very slowly and opened his eyes, staring for a moment at Sirius before the slightest smile lit up his entire face.

"Sirius," Remus whispered, having quite forgotten that he and Sirius were back together again. It made his heart flutter when Sirius's hand moved up to thread through his hair, fingernails scraping gently against his scalp. "Good morning…" Remus's hazel eyes slipped closed as Sirius leaned in to kiss his forehead, and he wrapped his arms up and around the other's neck comfortably.

"'Morning," Sirius said in a half-laugh, and he let his hands traverse to Remus's shoulders, holding them very lightly and touching the very tips of their noses. "I assume you are hungry? Recent circumstances are no excuse for your malnourishment…" His voice dropped as he spoke that last sentence, but Remus did not burst into tears as he had anticipated. Instead, Remus gave a light nod of agreement, and Sirius smiled before sliding out of the bed and standing, pulling Remus into a sitting position and then to his feet.

Remus laughed very quietly as Sirius tugged him a little too hard and brought him into his chest, the heels of his lightly scarred hands resting on Sirius's collarbone and his stomach pressing flush to him. It felt so new, being with Sirius again. They were older, less rash, and when Sirius had gone to bed with him the night before without even suggesting they do anything sexual in the lightest (he had refused even a good night snog), Remus knew that he had made the right decision in asking Sirius to be with him again.

Sirius smiled as Remus pressed against him in this manner, and he wrapped his arms securely around his middle. "Je t'aime," whispered Sirius as he looked down into Remus's eyes, and laughter bubbled from his lips as Remus made a face.

"Don't pretend you speak French," Remus snorted, forgetting in this moment that anything else in the world was wrong. "Besides, French is so completely overdone, Sirius Black. It mean so much more if you spoke something like—"

"Te amo, care," Sirius interrupted, and Remus shivered and melted at the sound of Latin. Spells were spoken in Latin, sure, but did not have the same effect as when the words were purred into his ear. "Te amabam ab initio…" His tongue was light and spoke the words as though they had been said a million times, and Remus wondered for a split second where Sirius had acquired any semblance of Latin, much less correct Latin, over the past few years before he leaned up and caught his lips in a questioning kiss.

Sirius tilted his head to the side just enough so his lips trapped Remus's lower one, and he worshipped it with his teeth. Remus's breath rushed out of him and he squeezed his eyes closed as though Sirius's touch was just too much, his hands tightening on Sirius's shoulders as he felt tears rising to his eyes. When they slipped down his cheeks, Sirius lifted a hand to dry them, his tongue having taken the place of his teeth to worry that pretty bottom lip. "Hush now," Sirius whispered when the pulled back just a little, and he smiled when Remus blushed and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. "Come on; I'll make something for you to eat."

"Okay," Remus murmured, and he followed Sirius as he went into the kitchen. While Sirius cooked bacon at the stove, Remus opened the window and ducked his head outside. The rain had stopped in the night and it was sunny again, the sunlight gleaming off the chrome of their motorbike in the street. "I really can't believe you bought that. It was a terrible investment."

Sirius crept up behind him and slipped his hands up into his nightshirt, seizing his soft sides and pulling him back into the flat. "You love it," he insisted, arms wrapping about him as he held him from behind. He heard Remus chuckle and laughed. "See? You think it's sinful…so sinful you can't stop looking at it."

"Fine. I love that fucking motorcycle even though you are fucked in the head for buying it," Remus snorted, and he closed his eyes with a hum at the smell of bacon. He was ravenous—they had not eaten very much the night before for being so wrapped up in one another. "Thanks for buying it for me." He spoke this quietly, knowing what the bike was really for.

Sirius smiled into Remus's hair and kissed his ear, eyes closed as he rocked back and forth with him. "I may have bought it to whisk you off your feet on, but that doesn't mean you can drive it," he claimed matter-of-factly, and Remus turned into him with a small grin. "Fine. You could drive it if you wanted."

"I don't want to." Remus pushed Sirius back over to the stove and sighed as an owl came swooping in the open window. "Hullo," he said quietly, and he took the letter from the owl's leg before he touched his forehead in anguish. "Ministry's going to arrange the funerals for me." His voice was thick and low, and he heard Sirius sigh. "But I still have to make all the decisions. Sirius, I can't do this."

Sirius turned off the bacon and took it from the pan before he went over to Remus and took the letter from his hands, turning him in his arms. "We can do it together, okay?" he asked, and Remus nodded against his shoulder as though he were more exhausted than he had ever been. Sirius suspected that he was. Taking Remus over to their couch, he sat him down and then brought him some bacon and orange juice. "Eat your breakfast first, okay? We can worry about it after breakfast."

Remus sighed into his bacon and moved to lean quietly on Sirius's arm. "I have to worry about it now. Should they be buried together? I mean…They were divorced! Mum was a fucking Muggle, Sirius! She didn't so anything!" His voice raised in pitch with confusion and fury, and he took a hard gulp of his juice. "She couldn't even FUCKING do MAGIC!"

Sirius's eyes widened as Remus threw his glass as hard as he could, watching it shatter against the opposite wall, then he moved to kiss Remus's cheek. "Hey, hey now…" His hands seized the other's and restrained them, keeping them from throwing anything else. Remus shot him a rather animalistic look. "Shhh…We will do whatever you want to do with them. If you want them together, they should be together."

"But it's a lie," Remus whispered, and he choked a little when Sirius tugged him into his lap. "Apart, but near each other. I want…I want them like that." His eyes closed and he tucked his head in against Sirius's shoulder. "Will you write that in for the specifications? I can't. I just can't."

Sirius nodded and summoned the parchment and a ballpoint pen to himself, writing down what Remus asked before he put the parchment and pen on the coffee table. "There. Just relax, okay? Close your eyes…" He could feel Remus choking up again, and he realized just how long it was going to be before his little love was okay again. Sighing, he lay down with him, lying on his back and holding Remus on his chest. "I wish I could fix it," he whispered, his eyes closed as he pet Remus's hair.

"Me too." It was such a small sound. Sirius used his wand to flick the letter back to the owl, which had been waiting patiently. It seemed accustomed to this sort of visit and was picking at an extra piece of bacon when it was given the letter again. Remus did not speak again for a long time that day.

Sirius eventually got up, letting Remus sleep on the couch, and so when Remus woke up again, he blushed to find Sirius kneeling in front of him, a rather large bouquet of deep red roses held in his hand. "Sirius," he whispered, and he reached out to touch one of the fat blooms, eyes closing as he smelled them. "Lincoln roses? Where'd you go to get them?"

"Doesn't matter," Sirius said, and he smiled as Remus sat up and rubbed his eyes. "You were out all day, and I figured you'd want something to cheer you up. And since we never got to go for our ride last night, I figured I'd take you out tonight and fly you up close to the stars."

Remus's eyes darkened at those words, and he set the huge roses gingerly on the couch before he reached up and drew Sirius in for a kiss telling of quiet need. "Sounds perfect," he whispered against the kiss, and Sirius was hauling him up, charming the roses so they flew into a large vase on the table. He quickly changed into warm clothes and grabbed his coat before he grinned at Sirius, ready to forget everything. "To the sky, Monsieur Padfoot…"

Sirius grinned at him and found the keys before he seized Remus and tugged him close. "To the sky, Monsieur Moony."

And to the sky they went.


	37. Closure

**Author's notes: **For this chapter, please listen to Lifehouse: Hanging By a Moment. A link for downloading can be found in my LJ.

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Closure**

**Part 37 of the Smitten series **

* * *

The funerals for Flora McConnell and John Lupin were quiet and small, consisting of only family and close friends. There was no time for separate funerals, nor was the Ministry willing to shell out the gold for separate funerals. Remus was very quiet throughout the entire affair, only stepping up to the caskets to say a few choked, tearful words to the small crowd before he moved back to his seat and buried his face against Sirius's shoulder to cry in a sort of privacy. 

Dumbledore stood up at the funeral to speak, having known the Lupins intimately, and he cleared his throat. "John Lupin was murdered. It was no accident, and it was because of Fenrir Greyback that this family was so torn asunder. John Lupin worked in passing many discriminatory laws concerning werewolves in the beginning of his work in the Ministry, and Greyback took it upon himself to make John realize exactly what he had done." Remus covered his face with his hands and leaned into Sirius's one-armed embrace. "He was not finished, however, and because of his bloodlust and dark ties with Voldemort, John Lupin and his innocent ex-wife were murdered in their homes. It is unjust, but death often is."

When the eulogies were given and the caskets were lowered into the ground and covered, Remus stood in front of his mother's grave by himself, staring down at the freshly-dug soil and allowing himself one last cry before he turned away and went to the road where Sirius waited on their bike, looking comical in black dress robes on the roaring machine. He climbed on behind him and laid his head between his shoulders, thankful for the gentle pat on his knee before they went flying down the road through the countryside.

Remus went to sleep when they got back home, and Sirius let him sleep all day.

Remus woke to Sirius sleeping beside him, glancing at a clock that proclaimed three in the morning. He sniffed and rubbed his eyes before he went to the bathroom and came back, nuzzling into the soft mattress and watching Sirius in his sleep. The window was open, the moonlight filtering through and casting blue-white streaks of light all along his body. He was half out of the covers, wearing boxers and one sock, and when Remus reached over to tuck his hair out of his face, he smiled as Sirius whispered his name in sleep and giggled.

He felt the overwhelming need to wake Sirius up, so he shook his shoulder a little and watched as Sirius's eyes slipped open suspiciously. "Wha' d'you want?" he asked playfully, voice thick with sleep, but as he spoke, he pulled Remus down and kissed him there in the dark. Remus's hands slid up to rest on either side of Sirius's head, his body moving on top of his boyfriend's for the first time in years. "Oh." Sirius's voice was soft, and he shifted the blankets around so they covered them both. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," Remus confessed, and he blushed as he allowed himself to trail delicate kisses over Sirius's neck and up to his ear. He heard Sirius gasp as his tongue tasted the delicate shell, and when he traced the outer edge, Sirius squirmed and slid his hands into Remus's shirt to caress his back. Remus had quite forgotten about this spot; Sirius could be stoked with the lightest touch to his ears, and Remus's tongue had a penchant for finding a spot within that spot that could make Sirius keen.

Sirius's hands pulled Remus's shirt over his head and tossed it across the room, palms raking over bare skin in reverence when Remus pressed their lips together and let their breathing determine the delicate balance of skin-on-skin. They were heating up quickly, and the blanket was shoved away by one or the other—neither remembered it—before Remus shed his cloth pants and lay there on top of Sirius in only his boxer-briefs, tangling their fuzzy legs together and moaning at the heat passing continually between them. "I've missed this," Remus murmured as Sirius touched the skin just beneath the elastic waistband of his underwear, and he swallowed hard as Sirius's hands slid inside and cupped his bare arse. "A lot."

Sirius nodded and looked into Remus's eyes for a split second before he opened his mouth over his and slid his tongue between those pretty lips, every movement sending tingles right down to his toes. His fingernails trailed the downward curve of Remus's buttocks before seizing the supple handfuls of flesh and using them to pull Remus hard into the kiss. A bead of sweat ran down the bumps of Remus's spine and pooled in his lower back, his breath escaping in pants when he felt delectable friction between his cock and Sirius's that had been absent for too long.

Slowly, they lapsed into silence, only the sound of their movements between the sheets and the light, wet sounds of their lips parting and joining again breaking the quiet. They were going slower than they ever had in the past, two years of growing up having eased if only just slightly the irrational need to have sex immediately. Sirius slowly switched their positions, pressing Remus's back into the mattress and kissing the dip of his collarbone. His tongue tasted salt there, and he licked it away before he moved to kiss his nipples. There were several scars on Remus's chest he had not seen before, and he traced over them with pliant lips.

"Careful," Remus breathed; some of the scars liked to twinge still. His hand lifted to twine itself in the other's hair as his stomach and hips were kissed, and he closed his eyes as Sirius's hands hooked around his boxer-briefs and pulled them down carefully. They fell on the ground with a whisper, and Sirius kissed the bottoms of Remus's feet before he ran his palms warmly up and between those legs, spreading them apart sufficiently and kissing the quivering insides of thighs. "Unnh…"

* * *

This scene has been deleted from this version. Please visit (sakaim. livejournal. com) for the unedited version.

* * *

He pulled out of Sirius and grabbed his boyfriend's wand, muttering a few cleaning spells before he seized Sirius and held him tightly in his arms. "Je t'aime," he gasped, grinning as Sirius laughed at him and burying his face against his neck. 

"Now look who's faking French…I love you, too…" And together, they fell back to sleep.

When Sirius woke up the next morning and found the Remus was not with him, he groaned. He hoped he did not regret it; he had certainly enjoyed himself with Remus despite the light complaints his arse was voicing as he stood up and stretched. Going to the wardrobe, he seized a bathrobe and tied it about himself before he felt someone warm and very clean-scented seize him from behind. Whipping around, he laughed as Remus, who was dressed and ready for the day, seized him around the neck and dragged him in for a sweet kiss. "Morning…I want to go for a walk today, Sirius. It's lovely outside and I'm so hungry…"

Sirius smirked and nodded before heading for the bathroom. "Fine. Keep yourself entertained while I bathe, 'kay? And I'll take you anywhere…" He closed the door before Remus could protest and hugged himself lightly. He had not felt so refreshed in a long time.


	38. The Joining Celebration

**Author's notes: **Back after vacation! Thanks for being patient! Please DL and listen to Canon in D Major for this chapter!

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents: **

**The Joining Celebration **

**Part 38 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

The wedding was to be small and quite private in the middle of all the fighting. Of course, the Marauders were certainly not a part of the fight, but some of their guests were, so the entire celebration was kept under a Fidelius Charm with Sirius as the Secret-Keeper. Remus thought he was quite unbearable after James had made him Secret-Keeper; he had never heard so much boasting. "Not you, Moony! ME!" he would exclaim proudly, and Remus would give his arse a swat.

"I really couldn't care less, Pads," Remus claimed, as he straightened his tie for the final time in the bathroom mirror at the church. Sirius was dancing about behind him with astonishing energy for a man who had been so smashed the night before at the bachelor's party. Remus had chosen to be the designated driver, considering that Sirius had insisted on riding the motorcycle, thus he had secretly fallen in love with driving the thing. It was a new sense of freedom he had never experienced before. "What I do care about, however, is how we're going to tell James and Lils we're back together at the party afterward, because I intend on dancing with you."

Somehow, they had made it thus far without telling anyone that they were back together. Remus could hear Lily fussing already and he was not too keen on it happening at the wedding, but he knew that he was going to get very, very drunk afterward and he and Sirius together in a drunken stupor would likely result in shed tuxedos by the end of the night.

Sirius snorted and shook his head. "Not a big deal, my sweet, worrisome friend. I should think they will be quite happy for us…" He grabbed Remus and flipped him around, pressing him back against the sink and swiping his tongue across his lips. He thought Remus would protest for a moment, but then he was melting against him and his arms were sliding around his neck, and Sirius was sure that he had never been so horny in his life. "It's really too bad it's not our wedding, though."

"Don't be stupid," Remus snorted, and he gave Sirius a rather unceremonious shove back. "Get off me. I wouldn't marry you for a thousand Galleons. You're much too ugly." He grinned as Sirius made a face at him and turned back around to finish fixing his appearance in the mirror. When Sirius advanced on him, he poked his tongue out at him in the mirror. "I meant it!"

James came in to see them tussling playfully and cocked an eyebrow. "If you're quite finished, it's time." He looked distinctly nervous, and Sirius clambered away from a very offended looking Remus to seize his best mate about the neck.

"Give us a smile, Prongs. You're getting _married_!" he said, and the ill-looking flush on James's cheeks made both Moony and Padfoot give identical howls of laughter. Together, the three of them proceeded to the wedding.

Remus was stunned by the entire ceremony—to think that he would never go through it struck him a little hard, however, and when the reception came, he hit the drinks. Sirius could tell he was upset, so he knocked the drink from his hand and pulled him out to the dance floor. "What's wrong, love?" Sirius asked quietly as James and Lily danced beside them. Sirius winked at them, and Lily reached out to touch Remus's hair.

Remus looked at her and grinned, leaning over to give her the traditional kiss before he playfully gave James a messy one on the cheek. "Congratulations," he said quietly before Sirius stole him away across the floor again and kissed his ear. "Sirius!" It was a loud yelp, and he looked indignant for a moment before he grinned and wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck. "It's nothing of consequence, Sirius."

Sirius smiled and nodded before he looked over to James and Lily again. They were watching the two men, a grin on Lily's face and a bit of an exasperated expression on James's. "I love you," Sirius murmured against Remus's ear, and when Remus pulled back to reply, Sirius kissed him there in front of everyone.

Later, when Sirius was dancing with James and Remus had paired off with Lily, Lily smiled sweetly at Remus and kissed his cheek. "I'm very glad for the two of you. Sirius loves you more than anything, you know." Remus cast a look over to Sirius, who was swooning in James's arms, and he flushed just a little. "Even if he is a prat…"

Remus grinned and nodded at her. "He is a prat. A terrible one. Maybe someday you can dance with me at my wedding…" His voice was soft, and Lily looked sad for a moment before she kissed him on the cheek. "Don't give me that sad look, Lils…"

"You two deserve a day like this…" Remus looked over her, admiring her in that long, beautiful white dress. He had never seen James so immaculately perfect, either. Would Sirius take a wedding as seriously as this? He blinked as he was suddenly shoved into Sirius's arms again, and he laughed as Sirius whirled him around gracefully.

Sirius beamed at him and kissed him deeply on the lips before he pulled him off the floor and over to a table, getting them both a drink before he came back over and ran his fingers through Remus's hair. "Lily Potter…Sounds funny, doesn't it?" Remus asked as he leaned against that hand and hummed quietly.

"Yes, but not nearly as strange as it would sound if we changed one of our names. Sirius Lupin—what is that? Or Remus Black…Ridiculous." He blinked as Remus blushed, and he grinned almost comically before he leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I'd marry you…'F I could, that is."

Remus closed his eyes and leaned into Sirius's shoulder. "I'd marry you, too. Even if you are barmy."


	39. The Proposal

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Proposal**

**Part 39 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

It was late November of 1978, and Remus Lupin was elbows-deep in dishwater. Sirius was out in the snow doing God-knew-what and had been gone for quite a while when an owl tapped at the window. Remus withdrew his hands from the water and dried them before letting the bird in, a load of snow blowing in along with him. Sputtering, Remus took the letter from the bird's leg and closed the window. "You can stay here and warm your beak; you should not fly in this weather," he claimed to the bird, which hooted quietly and fuzzed up near the fire.

Sitting on the hearth by the bird, he opened the letter and read over the flowing script. His eyes widened as he recognized it as Dumbledore's, and he sighed when he realized just what the letter was asking him to do. "The Order of the Phoenix?" he muttered, and he ran his fingers through his hair.

Sirius finally burst through the door, and Remus did not recognize him for a moment. "You look like a damned snowman!" he laughed, and he got up to walk over and brush the snow off of his frozen lover. Sirius just chattered his teeth, his lips blue, and he shook snow all over the floor. "Come on in by the fire, love…"

Remus brought Sirius to the hearth and took his hands as they sat warmly together. "Where did you go?" Remus asked, his eyes widening as Sirius drew from his pocket a tiny little parcel with a ribbon about it. "Sirius, what's this?"

When Sirius was thawed enough to speak, he shuddered and grinned at Remus. "Gotchu present," he said with a light giggle, and the firelight lent some color to his cheeks as Remus untied the ribbon. When the tiny little box was opened and Remus found a white gold ring with a small, tasteful diamond set in it, Sirius grinned at the flabbergasted look on his lover's face and leaned in to kiss him. "Told you I wanted to marry you at the wedding, so I figured, you know, if you're my fiancé, you need a ring to show for it."

Remus looked up at him and laughed before he threw himself against him and melded their lips together. The owl gave an indignant hoot and fluttered closer to the fire as Remus pushed Sirius onto his back on the hearth and proceeded to warm him up in a much different way.

His tongue slid out to trace the bow of Sirius's cool lips before he sucked his lower lip between both of his own and suckled heat back to it, feeling that warmth flood into him as cold hands ran over his back and arse. "You prat. You spend too much money on me, Sirius Black!" Remus whispered in an almost harsh tone that told of tears hiding behind his eyes.

Sirius snorted and pressed his tongue into Remus's mouth, taking the ring and pushing it onto Remus's left ring finger. Their fingers spread and clutched together, and under the watchful eye of the owl, Remus and Sirius heated one another up with no need for the fire.

Later, when they were lying naked and tired on the couch, the owl hopped over and nipped Remus's finger sharply, holding the letter in his talons. "Oh, Sirius, look." He reached down and took the letter, reading it aloud to him before he lay his head on his shoulder. "I figure if we're not part of the solution, we're part of the problem. That's what people say, right? I'll bet he asked James and Peter, too. Let's do it, please?" he asked quietly, his hand rubbing over Sirius's naked shoulder.

Sirius sighed and closed his eyes before he nodded. "Yeah. Voldemort's…Well, you know. He's killing anyone who doesn't agree with him, and you're a half-blood. I gotta protect you," he breathed sleepily, and he tugged Remus onto his chest. "Dumbledore won't lead us wrong…"

Remus moved off of Sirius and retrieved a pen from the table. He scrawled a reply to Dumbledore, saying they would be happy to join, and the owl took off into the blizzard again. Instead of going back to Sirius, he disappeared in one of the back bedrooms for a few moments, and when Sirius came to find him, he blushed and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"I don't have any money to speak of so I can't buy you a ring, Sirius, but I um…I have this." He presented Sirius with the most valuable thing he had ever owned—his grandfather's wedding band. It was silver with gold cords running over the surface, and when he placed it on Sirius's finger, it resized itself. "It's my heirloom. I want you to have it," he giggled, and he grinned as Sirius tugged him close to kiss him.

"Thank you, pet. Thank you so much…" He pulled back to look at the thick, masculine ring, and he grinned. "Even if we never get married, we'll be ready if we can be…"


	40. A State of Uneasiness

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**A State of Uneasiness**

**Part 40 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Now that Remus knew that he was a part of something bigger, he started to pay attention more to the newspapers. He had never realized just how many murders were being committed, how many people were getting killed or maimed. It was horrifying to him, that he had never really noticed it before, and several articles were so graphic that he would be sick to his stomach. Sirius always tried to get him to smile, but often he failed.

"Remus, it's a war. Of course people are going to die—fuck, we might even die—but you can't get sick over it. You just can't," Sirius claimed over his sandwich at the table as Remus stared down miserably at the paper. "You have to look on the bright side. Look, Frank Longbottom got married to Alice Cooper. See that? That's happy!" He smacked his palm down on the paper and smiled. "Come on, Moony."

Remus sighed heavily. "The bright side, Pads?" he asked quietly, and he shook his head. "We didn't even get invited to that wedding! Why?" He snickered a little—lots of couples were getting married, people they knew, and they were never invited because those were weddings to which no one was invited. Trust was breaking down amongst old friends, and it killed Remus.

Sirius stood up and went behind Remus, rubbing his shoulders. "Because Frank is a wanker and always has been?" he suggested, and when Remus leaned back against him, he filtered his fingers through his hair. "You're going to worry yourself grey."

Remus nodded and pushed away from Sirius, standing and stretching. "Dumbledore Flooed over this morning when you were asleep. He will be coming over for dinner to discuss what we're supposed to do…I don't know if we'll be staying here any longer." He leaned over and kissed Sirius's cheek before he took the dishes to the sink. "I'm going to go have a shower." Looking quite troubled, he went to the bathroom and closed the door.

Sirius sighed and did the dishes before he looked out the window. It was February already. Remus's birthday was in March, and he was afraid that he would not be able to get him the gift he deserved (he had spent such a desperate amount for the engagement ring). His fiancé was so depressed lately, and he had decided that he was going to address this with Dumbledore. If being with the Order of the Phoenix was going to ruin Remus, they would pull out.

Remus was in the shower for a very long time, and Sirius grew concerned. Going to the bathroom door, he leaned against it and gave a knock. "Baby, the hot water has got to be long gone," he called through the door, and immediately, the sound of water within halted. He opened the door and went over to the tub, pushing back the shower curtain to see Remus standing there, lips blue and shivering, and he grabbed a war towel to wrap around him. "That's enough," he said quietly, and he pulled Remus out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. "Get dressed, Remus. We're telling Dumbledore that we're quitting. I'm not gonna stand by and watch you—"

"We'll do no such thing, Sirius," Remus sighed, and he looked up at him. "I'll…I'll feel better once we start working. I'm just freaked out, okay?" He turned his eyes away as Sirius slipped his arms around him and hauled him in against his chest. "Please don't quit. Sirius, please don't quit…"

Sirius nodded and rubbed Remus's cold back, trying to warm him up. "We'll talk to Dumbledore about all this, okay? You're going to get sick if you don't get warm again, you know, and you're a right bitch when you don't feel well." He nudged him with a smile and kissed the nape of his neck before he took him over to the bed. "Lie down and get warm—there's still some time before Dumbledore gets here."

Remus nodded and lay down in the bed, closing his eyes and sighing as Sirius grinned at him. "Stop staring at me and go make dinner," Remus mumbled into the pillow, and he glanced up over the white linen to smile at him. "Go on; Dumbledore will be expecting us to be gracious hosts. You're on the verge of being rude."

Sirius wrinkled his nose and disappeared into the kitchen.

When Dumbledore came in two hours later, he knocked politely and smiled when Sirius opened the door and greeted him with a boyish grin. "Hello, Mister Black," Albus said in an almost whimsical tone, and Sirius stepped aside to let him come inside. "Is Mister Lupin not in?"

"He's sleeping," Sirius said quietly, and he ushered Dumbledore into the kitchen. "Sit down, sir, and I will go wake him up. He's not feeling so well, but he wants to talk to you about…things." He frowned a little and Dumbledore noted that lines were appearing on his forehead. They did not suit the young Sirius Black.

Sirius went into the bedroom and patted Remus's shoulder. "Wake up, Moony; Dumbledore's here," he coaxed quietly, and Remus groaned and rolled over, swatting at him. "Don't give me that shit. Get up…" He crawled on top of Remus and bounced on his lower back. "Up, up!"

Remus howled into the sheets and threw Sirius off of him. "Fine!" He leapt up and tackled him furiously to the mattress, initiating a half-play fight that was a little rougher than usual.

Dumbledore could hear the growling and yelling and fighting from the kitchen, and he smirked to himself as the two boys came calmly into the room a few moments later. "Glad to see you both came out alive," he chided, the blush that spread over their cheeks making him smile. When Remus came over to shake his hand, he shook it firmly and nodded to him. "It's good to see you again, Remus. How have your transformations been recently?"

Remus began to serve the dinner of baked chicken and rice that Sirius had prepared for them, and he gave a shrug to the question. "No less painful than usual, unfortunately. Why?" Remus asked, and he sat down beside Sirius across the table from Dumbledore. "Have there been any developments in potions or anything?"

Dumbledore gave a sad sort of nod. "Always researching, never finding anything. They're certainly trying, Mister Lupin, but I would not count on anything anytime soon." Remus hung his head a little and nodded, glad for Sirius's comforting hand on his lower back. He busied himself with pushing food around his plate as Dumbledore began to speak again. "But I do have an assignment for you."

Sirius's eyes widened and Remus looked up with a sparkle in his eyes. "Really? What?" Remus asked, and he leaned forward a little, a bit of a light suddenly shining in his eyes. He could feel Sirius's fingers pressing unnaturally hard in his back, and he pulled away from the touch a little.

"Voldemort will certainly be going after the werewolf 'packs' in the area. I need you, during your next transformation and each subsequent one, to travel between packs and learn of their intentions. Can you do that?" Dumbledore asked, cutting a piece of chicken from the bone and popping it into his mouth. He grinned as Remus nodded excitedly, but he could not help but notice the terrified look on Sirius's face. "Mister Black, you look troubled."

Sirius blinked at him in disbelief. "Of course I look troubled, damn it!" he snarled, and he stood up, ignoring the nasty glare Remus sent his way. "Do you have to send him on something so dangerous the first time? He could get killed!"

Dumbledore sighed and steepled his fingers beneath his chin. "Sirius, all of the Order's missions are dangerous, and Remus is the only person who can do this, I'm afraid. There is a high mortality rate in this kind of busine—"

"Then we don't want any part of it!" Sirius yelped, and he shoved his chair under the table, grabbing Remus by the arm. "Come on, Remus! You can't accept this!"

Remus looked at that hand on his arm quietly before he looked up into Sirius's almost wild eyes. "Sirius, I'm going to do it. If I don't, no one can. Some things are more important than our individual lives," he said in the calmest voice. He was resolute, and Sirius could see that, and when Sirius growled and ran back into the bedroom, Remus smiled apologetically to Albus.

"I will absolutely do it," he said, and he gave him a nod. "And I'll talk to Sirius. Don't worry about that, okay?" When Albus smiled and got up from the table, Remus felt very small. "He'll be okay."

"Good luck with that," Dumbledore sighed, and he shook Remus's hand one more time. "And thank you. You could save many lives like this, you know." And then he was gone.

Remus dropped his hand from the air and turned to the bedroom, closing his eyes and walking up to the door. "Sirius?" he called quietly, and he knocked.


	41. Promises

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**Promises**

**Part 41 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

Sirius sighed at the sound of Remus calling to him from the other side of the door, and he waved his wand to admit him. As the door swung open and Remus stepped inside to give him a stubborn look, Sirius lay down on his side, facing away from his boyfriend and worrying the sheets between his fingers. "Sirius," Remus sighed, and he strolled across the room to sit on the edge of the mattress and touch his lover's shoulder. "Sirius, you knew this sort of thing was bound to happen eventually. Being in the Order doesn't mean anything if we don't do anything to help."

Sirius swallowed thickly and remained silent for a long while, the warm hand that was rubbing between his shoulder blades making him want to cry. He was such a baby and he knew it, but the mere thought of losing any of his friends, especially Remus, was agonizing to him, and the Order of the Phoenix was rumoured to have a high mortality rate. Remus's hand slid up to his shoulder and rolled him over, and Sirius looked up into Remus's eyes with, he realized with embarrassment, tears shimmering in his own. "What if you die, Remus? What the hell am I going to do then?"

Remus slowly moved to lie down with him, his hand moving in languid circles on his stomach. "I'm not going to die, Sirius," he promised, and as Sirius turned into his chest, he wrapped his arms about him. "This won't be my last mission, either. I want to make a difference, if only for one person. I can't do that if I'm just lying here in bed all day with you, as wonderful a thought it is." His voice was but a soft murmur against Sirius's hair, and he took a handful of it to sift between his fingers.

"You're making a difference for me," Sirius claimed, and he hastily closed his eyes as Remus pulled back to look at him. A moment later, he felt Remus's warm lips pressed against his own, and he whimpered like a puppy as the other's tongue pressed between his lips. He felt like such a girl, worrying and being upset like this, but he could not seem to help it. "Please don't go, Remus…"

The kisses stopped and Remus reached up to brush away Sirius's spilled tears. "I need to go, Sirius, and I promise that I will come back to you each and every time," he swore, and he touched their foreheads together. "I won't be killed. Believe me…I'll come home to you every time."

Sirius sighed and nodded before he sat up and swiped away the remaining tears. "Okay," he breathed, though it was clear that it was not okay at all. Remus sat up as well to slide his arm around Sirius's waist, and he tugged him close. "Remus, not now, please." His body, however, ignored these words, and he found himself suddenly clutching Remus and kissing his neck and shoulders.

Remus tipped Sirius's chin up and caught his lips with his own, hands shaking as they kissed in an almost violent manner. Sirius devoured Remus's mouth, his tongue dipping deep between his lips and tasting the far reaches of it, and when he felt Remus tearing at his clothes, he broke the kiss to pull off both of their shirts. He buried his face against Remus's neck and scraped his teeth against the flesh while his hands worked furiously at their trousers. He managed to get his own off and onto the floor, and Remus assisted with his own, and moments later they were lying naked and entangled in one another. Sirius could not get close enough to Remus in that moment, and he moaned with the need to be as close as he could possibly get.

* * *

**This scene is pretty intense R, so go to (sakaim. livejournal. com) Part 41 for the graphic stuff.**

* * *

"Shhh, baby," Remus breathed, and he slid his hands down to grab Sirius's ass. "I love you, too." He closed his eyes as Sirius kissed just behind his ear, and slowly he let himself become drowsy. He hardly felt Sirius pull out of him, and he kicked the pillow they had used to prop up his hips off of the bed as Sirius lay beside him. "C'mere."

Sirius let Remus hold him, and when he felt Remus fall asleep, he swallowed hard and willed himself to sleep as well, trying not to become worried once more.


	42. The Fatality

**Now, Sakai Michiba presents:**

**The Fatality**

**Part 42 of the Smitten series

* * *

**

It was the afternoon of the full moon, and Remus Lupin had never been so nervous about anything in his entire life. He was to Apparate to a common meeting ground for werewolves just before his transformation, and there he was to run with the pack and, in the morning speak with them of their intentions concerning the war. It was dangerous, a possibly fatal mission, and he did not want to reveal to Sirius that he was terrified. He was, at the moment, sitting on the couch with a book in hand even though he was not even reading it.

Sirius came from the kitchen with a mug of hot tea, blowing over the steaming surface and looking at Remus through the steam. "Brought you some tea, love," he whispered, and he sat down beside him, taking the book away. "You weren't reading it." He pushed the tea into Remus's hands and nervously fidgeted beside him. "Remus, if you don't…If you don't come back, I'll—"

"Shut up, Pads," Remus interjected, and he set his tea aside. "I'm coming back, okay?" He looked away with a flush to his cheeks, not moving as Sirius touched his wrist. He was relieved when that touch disappeared, but a moment later, Sirius's arms were wrapping around him, pulling him over into his lap, and he struggled lightly. "Stop it, Sirius! I'm in no mood!" he protested loudly.

"In case you _don't_," Sirius insisted, bringing a hand up to tip Remus's chin so they were facing one another, "then know that I'll never be with anyone else. Ever." These words were spoken in hardly a whisper, and Sirius knew that he had said the right thing when Remus's face crumpled. He pulled Remus in close and embraced him tightly, closing his eyes as he felt Remus press several shaky kisses to his collarbone. "I promise."

When it came time for Remus to leave, he held on to Sirius for a long time, his face pressed into his neck. "See you soon," he sighed, and he was glad that the kiss Sirius pushed to his temple was warm. Pulling back from him, Remus gave a nod and then Apparated, a cold feeling of dread seeping through him as he landed the Apparition in a forest clearing. This, Dumbledore said, was the place where the werewolves tended to gather every full moon, and if Remus was lucky, his werewolf instincts would have him follow them. When the transformation began, Remus had never felt so alone. He heard the howls of his brethren echoing around him, and the moment he was able, he threw his head back and called to them.

Sirius spent a restless night, keeping his ears open for any unlikely howling through the streets of London. He hated London more than anything; he was going to propose to Remus the moment he returned that they should have a house somewhere, maybe even Remus's parents' old home. There, Remus would be able to change without worrying about hurting anyone, particularly.

He expected Remus to come home immediately that morning, so he rose and made a light breakfast that Remus would be able to hold down before he spent the day sleeping. He was not entirely sure when the other was supposed to return, so he ate and had a cup of coffee, staring into the steam. When the clock struck noon, he sighed and ate the remainder of breakfast before it spoiled.

Then it was three o' clock. Then five. By midnight, Sirius was panicking, and he wrote a frantic letter to Dumbledore expressing his concern about this sort of assignment. He received a reply at five am, which told Sirius to relax—it would likely take some time for Remus to turn back up. 'Don't worry too much, Sirius, for worrying does nothing but produce wrinkles on your forehead,' the letter proclaimed, and Sirius threw it across the room with a yell.

For three days, Sirius was a nervous wreck. There was no word from anyone in the order, no letters, no anything. He was lying on the couch in front of the television, wearing one of Remus's sweaters and occasionally lifting a spoon of ice cream to his mouth when he heard a key in the lock. He sat up alertly, and he was halfway on his feet when the door swung open and Remus stepped through the doorway in little more than bloody rags. He looked up after he closed the door and smiled weakly for a few moments. "…Sirius…"

Sirius's flew across the room and seized his boyfriend in his arms, hauling him close and wrapping him up tightly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…" he gasped against Remus's shoulder, and when Remus lifted his arms to hug him tight, Sirius relaxed against him and kissed his cheek, his temple, his lips. "Are you okay? Oh my God, I thought you were dead…"

Remus chuckled a little, but when he looked into Sirius's eyes, Sirius could see the hollowness in them. Sirius's hands came up to touch his cheeks, and he bit his lower lip before he leaned in to give him a proper kiss. Remus clung to him then, his mouth opening against Sirius's and admitting a desperate tongue. For three days, he had been through utter hell, through things that would haunt him, and Sirius brought him back down to earth. The end of the kiss brought on his exhaustion, and he slumped against Sirius. "I need to go to bed, baby," he said weakly, and he found himself suddenly swept off his feet. Resting his head against Sirius's shoulder, he moaned very gently and touched his chest. "Sirius, would you…would you still love me if I had taken part in…killing someone?"

Sirius blinked and moved to lie Remus down on the bed, sitting at his feet and taking off his shoes as he looked up and gave a nod. "Yes, I would," he said quietly, and he finished taking off those shoes before he crawled up beside his Remus and drew him close. "I'd love you as much as I ever have, Moony."

"Good." Remus swallowed hard and buried his face in Sirius's neck, not going any further than that, and just as he was slipping off to sleep, tears flooded his eyes and soaked his eyelashes a moment before he was asleep.


End file.
